Don't know how to ease into it so I'm just going to put it down.
I've been dating this girl for a couple months and we just recently started to get into more sexual things. My problem is that I can get an erection with her and it's definitely hard enough to penetrate, but it's not rock-hard. I find that it takes a bit more for me to get really turned on. The girl has noticed this because she brought it up in a conversation we had last night while we were on the subject of sex.
I have no anxieties of being with her or about performance (plus she loves the size of my ****), but I'm nowhere near as hard as when I watch a "movie" or getting head or whatever. My girl was feeling bad about it because she said "I know you're not nervous because you know what you're doing" and she takes it to mean that she just doesnt turn me on enough. She figured because of my experience with other "wilder" girls that I'm not as excited to be in bed with her. I explained to her that it's not the case because I DO find her very attractive. Maybe not the most attractive girl I've ever dated(I don't tell her that, of course), but I'm into her. What's worse is that I explained to her that I have to be turned on or stimulated in some way to reach my max erection, but she thinks it should happen on its own because she can get wet just from kissing me. She's really shy so very rarely will she even touch it. I'm used to girls being more physical and working a bit to get me aroused, but she feels that just the making out and grinding that we do should be enough to get me fully excited "if you are really into me".
Not sure what to do about it. She's not into giving oral at this point. That's the ultimate thing she'll do, but only when she knows things are serious and she's really in love. She doesnt really play with it either and yet still I'm expected to be fully hard just by the kissing and touching (non-genital). I don't know what to say to her. I think part of the reason I'm not getting fully excited is because I did penetrate her once before, but the condom was ribbed and for some reason caused her a burning sensation and we had to stop about 2 minutes into it. for me, there wasn't much sensation at all(I think the condom was too thick) and she was a bit dry so it caused me a bit of discomfort and didnt exactly feel great. I guess this kind of takes away the excitement of anticipation if I expect that once I'm in, it's not going to feel good anyway. Or maybe I've just watched too much porn in the past or been with too many wild girls, but I really like this girl and still I'm unable to get fully aroused. It's funny because I like her better than the others.
Anyone know how I should talk to her about it and has this ever happened to you? Ever have problems getting fully excited until she gives you a hand job or goes down on you? Now I'm starting to wonder if she's right and maybe I'm just not as attracted to her as I want to be (but I doubt it). If she'd do the other stuff then it wouldnt be an issue, but she doesnt and I'm not sure I can get rock hard until I actually penetrate, but she doesnt want to do that unless I'm already fully excited. Confused how to handle this. How can I better explain it to her? Is it even normal? What's the solution and what do you think I should do?
M.
I've been dating this girl for a couple months and we just recently started to get into more sexual things. My problem is that I can get an erection with her and it's definitely hard enough to penetrate, but it's not rock-hard. I find that it takes a bit more for me to get really turned on. The girl has noticed this because she brought it up in a conversation we had last night while we were on the subject of sex.
I have no anxieties of being with her or about performance (plus she loves the size of my ****), but I'm nowhere near as hard as when I watch a "movie" or getting head or whatever. My girl was feeling bad about it because she said "I know you're not nervous because you know what you're doing" and she takes it to mean that she just doesnt turn me on enough. She figured because of my experience with other "wilder" girls that I'm not as excited to be in bed with her. I explained to her that it's not the case because I DO find her very attractive. Maybe not the most attractive girl I've ever dated(I don't tell her that, of course), but I'm into her. What's worse is that I explained to her that I have to be turned on or stimulated in some way to reach my max erection, but she thinks it should happen on its own because she can get wet just from kissing me. She's really shy so very rarely will she even touch it. I'm used to girls being more physical and working a bit to get me aroused, but she feels that just the making out and grinding that we do should be enough to get me fully excited "if you are really into me".
Not sure what to do about it. She's not into giving oral at this point. That's the ultimate thing she'll do, but only when she knows things are serious and she's really in love. She doesnt really play with it either and yet still I'm expected to be fully hard just by the kissing and touching (non-genital). I don't know what to say to her. I think part of the reason I'm not getting fully excited is because I did penetrate her once before, but the condom was ribbed and for some reason caused her a burning sensation and we had to stop about 2 minutes into it. for me, there wasn't much sensation at all(I think the condom was too thick) and she was a bit dry so it caused me a bit of discomfort and didnt exactly feel great. I guess this kind of takes away the excitement of anticipation if I expect that once I'm in, it's not going to feel good anyway. Or maybe I've just watched too much porn in the past or been with too many wild girls, but I really like this girl and still I'm unable to get fully aroused. It's funny because I like her better than the others.
Anyone know how I should talk to her about it and has this ever happened to you? Ever have problems getting fully excited until she gives you a hand job or goes down on you? Now I'm starting to wonder if she's right and maybe I'm just not as attracted to her as I want to be (but I doubt it). If she'd do the other stuff then it wouldnt be an issue, but she doesnt and I'm not sure I can get rock hard until I actually penetrate, but she doesnt want to do that unless I'm already fully excited. Confused how to handle this. How can I better explain it to her? Is it even normal? What's the solution and what do you think I should do?
M.
