How do I go about this?

[Swashbuckler]

I previously posted about this girl, and how I go about progressing from classroom to date.

Here is the thread:http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=157624&highlight=guidance

But basically in summary, She's giving me IOI after IOI in class.

So this week, she and I have been getting closer and closer. We see each other everyday. We met on Tuesday to do our class homework, and I wanted to progress, but she had a test to study for, so I let it go easily.

But here is where it gets good:

Wednesday, I then asked her to study on Thursday. She quickly agreed, and then yesterday I was at this conference downtown; I sent her a text while I was in a lecture to study at 6, and she sent one back asking if we can push it up. I told her I couldn't get out until 5, and it'd take me 30 mins to get back to campus.

She sent this text that kind of pissed me off, "Give me a call whenever, and I'll tell you if I am up for studying." I was a little perturbed because it was like the skin off her back to help me study.

So, I actually left early because the last lecture was boring as hell. I gave her a call while she was in class. Then she gave me a call when she got out of class. I asked her if she wanted to come over to my apartment. My roommate was blaring music in the shower (he's gay), so I was like "I'm really hungry, let's go to a coffee shop."

We got coffee and food at this really artsy coffee shop, and we didn't study at all, just talked. Then she mentioned ice cream even farther downtown, so we headed downtown and got some icecream. Walked around beautiful downtown eating icecream and laughing. Then she's like "There's a play back at school if we go now we can make it." We head back and we're like 10 mins late, and the woman wouldn't sell us tickets, so I took her over to the pool hall, and we got really flirty with one another touching each other, laughed the whole time.

It was like 10 p.m. and I was exhausted, and I really needed some help for this test, but she wanted to go do something else, and I was like "We really need to study" but i said it cool, and she agreed.

We headed back to my place. Sat on the floor next to each other and studied for an hour.

----

However! This is where I'm wondering what's going on. She kept taking this dude's phone calls. I was like ... are you serious? He called her like 3 times, and they talked like 3-5 mins each time. There was no like "I love you" things or anything, but she wasn't hasty about ending the phone call and said to him "I'll give you a call when I'm done." She said that a couple times. He might be some desperate dude...

I mean, what the hell should I do? I don't want to waste my time. If she's into this other dude, I'll next her and invoke jealousy in her all day in our class while I flirt with other women, which I do anyway... and she gets really jealous.

But I do want to see where this goes, she can keep up with me, which is great because I'm hilarious person, and there are not many girls who are as quick witted as her.

I was thinking about either asking her Saturday or Sunday to go grab some pancakes on Sunday and progress our relationship even more.

I need some help in how I should tackle this situation. She clearly likes me, but I mean am I gonna have to fight for her because I'm not ready to devalue myself for any girl. I'm quite a catch, and I think she knows that. But she needs to realize, if she and I are going to get more serious, she can't be taking calls from other guys that's just rude as hell.

 

[Captain]

She took three calls with you, and talked for 4 or s minutes each time?

Not usually a good sign, but it could be nothing, since most peoples' manners are so bad these days.

If a girl takes a phone call when she's talking to me, and tell them she's busy or whatever, I just walk away. I have better things to do than to listen to her conversations. If you don't want to walk away, hold eye contact, and gently take the phone off her and hang up. Normally she'll smile and forget about the call, if she gets mad at you, it's not looking good (she values whoever is on the phone more than you.)

 

[Swashbuckler]

If you don't want to walk away, hold eye contact, and gently take the phone off her and hang up. Normally she'll smile and forget about the call, if she gets mad at you, it's not looking good (she values whoever is on the phone more than you.)

That's a good ass idea! I love that.

She would always take it at points when I couldn't walk away like in the car or other closed places.

If she does that again, I'm gonna gently take the phone away. It'll be great to see if the guy on the other lines is more important or not.

I wish I would of heard about doing that before.

What do you think? Should I pursue her sometime this weekend, or just go do something with another girl?

I just don't want to devalue myself and have her be doing something with that guy. It'd be a huge slap in the face. I mean I could just get her ridiculously jealous next week and see if what she'll do because we had an absolute blast. We both lost track of time, and today she was like "If you do better on the test, we'll have to do pool before every test."

 

[Swashbuckler]

bump

 

[JJMcLure]

You did well getting her isolated and away from school. However, you complaining about that you both should be studying at the end of an evening on a date is plain lame. Talk about going into reverse gear. You should have been making out instead of studying. This whole help me study angle is getting old (she seems to think so too from what you wrote).

I said in my reply to your last post you risk her assigning you to the category of "isn't going to make a move" (can also be known as doesn't have the balls to make a move). This poor girl has spent so many hours with you and even spent this entire evening above with you on a date and you can't even kiss her? She must as a result feel pretty unattractive (and/or think you lack confidence - which is clearly the case, pull the trigger!).

Her taking a guy's calls on a date would be disrespectful but maybe she has come to the conclusion you're just friends (if you're hanging out with one of your friends for 4+ hours do you object if they answer their phone?). Maybe she figures she has more chance of this guy making a move than you. However, chicks often hint at other guys being after them to spur someone into making a move too (clearly YOU need something to spur YOU on). Overall though, I'd say its a negative sign.

Bottom line, I see this one slipping away from you fast (to the friend zone). Kiss her next time you're alone or just resign yourself to it and the fact that other guy on the phone will end up banging her instead of you (and you'll get to hear about it because you'll be such good friends).

 

[ucmedv8]

I think JJMcLure hit this one on the nose. No need to set up a date yet, just make a move when you two are studying or hanging out. Then set up a date so she knows your make out session wasn't a one time thing.

I would be weary about taking a phone out of someone's hand, especially if she isn't your girlfriend. She may take this as too agressive and think you're overly possessive, thus backfiring on you're chances.

 

[Swashbuckler]

God, I feel like an a$$hole after reading your take JJ.

I really did need help on that test. That test was hard as hell, and because we studied I did much better. Plus, I had a conference to go to in the morning for work, so I couldn't be up to 2 a.m. that night.

But you know what, I'm going to ask her out monday for some weeknight date. If she says yes, I'll make my move.

Hell whatever, I'll put myself on the line. It'll be better than having my heartbroken in the friendzone.

 

[Swashbuckler]

i asked her out to dinner tonight without any scholarly reason, just was open and confident about it. I kind of sprung it on her last minute, sent her a text while I was at work. I got one back saying maybe, she had to check to see what her mom was up to, so I was like whatever. I didn't hear back from at it was like 30 mins after the time I suggested, so I shot her a text saying "So?" because I was hungry.

Then I got a thing saying "Sorry Swashbuckler, I got trapped and forgot. better now. dinner someother night."

I think you can take that either way. I mean past events have lead me to believe that that was sincere, like monday she went with me to retrieve a book in a hall without me even asking her to go with, so obviously she is looking to spend time with me.

I'm guessing I probably sprung it on her too last minute, and she was busy, but women don't forget if a guy they like wants to take them out to dinner, but she did suggest getting dinner another night... I don't know. It can go both ways.

I won't be in class tomorrow, so I have a feeling she'll feel guilty because I didn't respond to her text, and she won't be able to explain herself. It might end of giving me power, which could be good, but I don't want to distance myself from her too far, but I do want to show her that flaking is unacceptable.

We'll see what happens.

 

[MisterMcGee]

It's always easier to bring out the "I don't play games" card and let the dating sequence proceed with less hindrances. Get her on the same page as you and things may become worth your while

 

[TheBucketOfTruth]

I didn't hear back from at it was like 30 mins after the time I suggested, so I shot her a text saying "So?" because I was hungry.

Don't text that if she doesn't respond the first time. If you don't get anything back from her, just go get food if you're that hungry. If she replies later, just say you were starving and went and got food because she didn't respond.

 

[mothballs]

Maybe you should go to class more...