Besides from getting girls I also want to get rid of my insecurities in general. Whenever my friends or even my professor ignore me for a little bit to do their own jobs, I start to think it's because they hate me and I have to remind myself that they don't, I'm just being insecure. Also I notice that I have very low self-esteem, probably because of the oneitis I'm having that is making me unhappy. So can any1 "show me the way" or at least give me some links to relevant threads??
How do I get rid of my insecurities n raise my self-esteem?
- Thread starter Avn_0903
- Start date
Hughman
Senior Don Juan
You joined a while ago I see. Reread the DJ Bible for a start. Do it several times if you have the patience and time.
But some general pointers for you:
You are the Centre of Your Own Universe. Nothing anyone does should shift you from that centre. Only your own mind set can do that. Get positive, even though it may hurt.
Don't worry about others, worry about yourself. Get into shape, get a life plan/ambition and work at it, get a 'makeover' (doesn't have to cost much, shop around, use ebay).
Widen your social group. If someone flakes on you, then it's not an issue, you can more readily find other people to be involved with. If your 'friend' is so unreliable, drop them till they sort themselves out.
Again, you don't need to feed off others emotions and whims to validate yourself. Validate yourself with your own opinion and actions.
EDIT: drop the one-itis. Drop it right now. If you don't mind not being friends again/won't make your normal/common social situations uncomfortable, ask her out, if she's single. (if she has a bf, try to shut him down, then get a date) She'll accept, or she will turn you down. If you get 'let's be friends', turn it down ('I have enough friends thanks). Or find other girl(s) to ask out. You'll forget your interests in her with time.
But some general pointers for you:
You are the Centre of Your Own Universe. Nothing anyone does should shift you from that centre. Only your own mind set can do that. Get positive, even though it may hurt.
Don't worry about others, worry about yourself. Get into shape, get a life plan/ambition and work at it, get a 'makeover' (doesn't have to cost much, shop around, use ebay).
Widen your social group. If someone flakes on you, then it's not an issue, you can more readily find other people to be involved with. If your 'friend' is so unreliable, drop them till they sort themselves out.
Again, you don't need to feed off others emotions and whims to validate yourself. Validate yourself with your own opinion and actions.
EDIT: drop the one-itis. Drop it right now. If you don't mind not being friends again/won't make your normal/common social situations uncomfortable, ask her out, if she's single. (if she has a bf, try to shut him down, then get a date) She'll accept, or she will turn you down. If you get 'let's be friends', turn it down ('I have enough friends thanks). Or find other girl(s) to ask out. You'll forget your interests in her with time.
Yeah I joined last year n learn several techniques and had some success. But then I was concentrating on techniques rather than improving myself and my inner game. So this year, thinking that I had all the techniques i need,I allowed myself to get into this oneitis stage w/ a girl. And since my DJ skills wasn't perfect, I keep getting more n more insecure each time the girl doesn't react to me as wat i have expected she would. I would always pay more attention to how she reacts than to whether I"m having fun or not. Every time I interact w/ her I was trying to see if she was playing w/ her hair or not or was she giving eye contact. Later I found out that she liked me at the beginning but it seemed that my AFCness drove her away. This stage eventually depressed me n I got more n more AFCish to her even though I knew in theory this would not work. Well now I'm about 30% out of this oneitis n even though this is really hard, i will get over this girl over the summer since I won't see her. But on my way out of this oneitis i notice that I'm very insecure not only abt girls in general but about interacting with other people as well. Not only that I would think that other people r better than I am for no freakin reason. This i figure is because of my low self-esteem. Going through this oneitis taught me a lot. One is never to invest ur emotion in anyone, not just any girls. Go ahead if u want to have fun w/ them or her; but don't invest any emotion since they/she might betray in the future, u just have to protect urself. 2 is get ur validation from something more reliable, like getting good grades, excelling in sports, improving urself. Girls r just too uncertain and flaky to get validation from. 3 is that girls can be interested in a lot of guys at the same time, the more reason that u should not trust them n invest emotion in them. These things r all over this forum but only when u experience them first hand do u truly realize wat they mean. Anyway, I feel like after this oneitis is over, I can truly be myself n I will be stronger n be be able to handle things better in general.
Poonani Maker
Master Don Juan
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Man, you gotta Love. That's all you have to do to get rid of your insecurities. But also, you gotta work, hard. And drive, fast. Do the thing you fear.