"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

How do I get rid of my awkwardness

JPlaya

Banned
Joined
Apr 29, 2011
Messages
457
Reaction score
5
It's kind of bad and yes I socialize. Like my posture might be awkward and they won't be able to hear what I say sometimes.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

Read more...

annette<3

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 18, 2011
Messages
10
Reaction score
0
Location
Amiens, Fr
The easiest way to fix it is just consciously remember it when you're talking to people. :) If you can't remember ... idunno maybe you can write it on your hand? Just remember to talk more loudly and sit up straight and itll be natural eventually. Hopefully xD

Is it really that big of a deal or are you just self conscious cuz of it?
 

annette<3

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 18, 2011
Messages
10
Reaction score
0
Location
Amiens, Fr
Well, I'm sure it's not as bad as you think it is. :3 Sometimes awkwardness can be endearing too so don't assume that its a super bad thing. Maybe the real problem is that you're not confident?

But maybe I'm being presumptuous because I'm sorta awkward too sometimes and then people assume that I'm shy or something ... :> so I guess you'll have to elaborate more ? ;)
 

Tyson420

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 3, 2009
Messages
328
Reaction score
7
Location
BC Vancouver
annette<3 said:
Well, I'm sure it's not as bad as you think it is. :3 Sometimes awkwardness can be endearing too so don't assume that its a super bad thing. Maybe the real problem is that you're not confident?

But maybe I'm being presumptuous because I'm sorta awkward too sometimes and then people assume that I'm shy or something ... :> so I guess you'll have to elaborate more ? ;)
What the ****?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

Hakuna

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 7, 2010
Messages
139
Reaction score
12
Go the the gym 5 times a week and get a torn physique

(a) Your posture will naturally fix itself

(b) Easiest way to gain massive social proof

(c) You will be more confident in yourself = less awkwardness

(d) More testosterone = the lifeblood of game

(e) More girls will talk to you = more practice
 

Jariel

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 17, 2004
Messages
4,413
Reaction score
297
Location
UK
Good points made here...

A conscious reminder, even a little pen dot on your hand, will remind you to stand up straight and be aware of your movements.

Also, the gym will change this is a huge way! I was always quite a meek kinda guy, walked with my head down, kinda curled into my own space when sitting in a crowd. A few months after working out and bulking up, I was walking upright and I had a real presence (people told me this). I felt bolder and acted bolder.

Just make sure before you start using the gym you do your research on proper technique and nutrition.

Another thing I suggest is just pushing yourself out of your comfort zone gradually. It's like everything....you get better with practice.
 
Joined
May 25, 2011
Messages
51
Reaction score
0
Hakuna has got it spot on, go to the gym, and with each exercise you do, use correct posture and think about it constantly. Good form will correct good posture as the muscles will develop in that way and it will naturally correct.

Practice talking loudly at home, just project your voice. Don't overthink what you are going to say to the point where you mumble. If you have something to say, think, is this appropriate, and then just say it. Dont pause and stumble over your words. It will come more naturally over time just keep practicing.

Don't cross your arms, hover around people, just be confident and walk like you have a purpose and when you want to speak to someone just project strength so they can't ignore you.
 

runner83

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 22, 2010
Messages
1,098
Reaction score
47
Location
Australia
Tyson420 said:
What the ****?
Classic case of women saying the opposite of what they'd do in real life.

She might say it would be endearing as she sits there typing it, but if she saw the guy in real life, she'd avoid him like the plague since she wouldn't get the 'gina tingles.

Personally, now whatever a women says, I pretty much know it is all a lie. Usually the opposite is always true in real life.

Read the post linked in my sig.
 

FairShake

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 8, 2008
Messages
2,405
Reaction score
306
I would advise you don't "consciously remember it when you're talking to people." My guess is you already do and that's your problem. The type of behavior you are talking about is self-reinforcing meaning the more you try to not be awkward the more you will be awkward and the internal conflict that runs everytime you talk to someone you are trying to impress will grow.

I've known a sh!tton of gym rats who are awkward. Personal internal development is far more important to getting past this.

I have one piece of advice but first let me tell you something that most awkward people never realize. Most people out there really don't care if you're shy and nervous. Friendships are not won or lost on whether you stand appropriately at all times or if your vocal range is correct all the time. People care far more if your awkwardness is of the loud and inappropriate variety. As long as you're a good sh!t who can give value to their lives they will like you. So DON'T try to HIDE your awkwardness. People will know anyway and hiding it causes more tension. Be a real version of yourself.

When it comes to meeting women I would concentrate on talking to those you meet in your daily life. It would be far easier for a guy who isn't smooth and suave to connect the right dots with someone they at least have SOMETHING in common with. I bet you're alot less nervous in daily situations too. Less outcome oriented.

Which brings me to my piece of advice. DON'T be outcome oriented. At least not now. Focus on the person and making them feel comfortable and give them value. Ask questions, make comments to show you're interested, and laugh when they're trying to be funny. Takes the onus off you to be a Don Juan and just be a normal dude. Don't be afraid to be awkward. We ALL are a little when we first meet someone. The only way you will get your awkwardness to go away is embrace it and plow through it. People will respect that and respect someone who wants to know about them. We ALL are less awkward around people that like and respect us.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

PrettyBoyAJ

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 19, 2010
Messages
2,584
Reaction score
339
Age
36
Location
Atlanta
Get some confidence. That'll get rid of your awkardness. One point in time I was awkward. Then I grew some confidence and as you get confidence your posture will change automatically.
 

JPlaya

Banned
Joined
Apr 29, 2011
Messages
457
Reaction score
5
Thanks i just went to the gym and my arms are killing me. What are some good bulking food
 

Alle_Gory

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 25, 2008
Messages
4,194
Reaction score
79
Location
T-Dot
You simply don't let it bother you. Do what you do despite the awkwardness and it will slowly dissapear over time.
 
Top