How do I get her to "open up" ?*PUN INTENDED!*

[Canadianpimpology]

Look...
:::Eminem 8 Mile music in background:::

I've been with my gf for 9 months now. We're sophomores. I think that we're pretty much in love. We have a pretty damn strong relationship. So anyway, she's pretty religious and reserved. All we've done is make out and just a little bit on the clothes stuff. The clothes have stayed on till now. I'm at the point where things need to move on physically or I'm going to get bored. Now she said she won't have sex till there's a diamond ring on her finger. Ok fine...I ain't out to fuvk her...yet. But see she doesn't know sh!t about fvck about sex. I had to tell her what a handjob and lube was. She even said it would hurt if she was fingered! WTF! But w/e...so she said oral and like handjobs and fingerin and all of that is nasty. She won't take off any clothes until she's engaged or married. Problem is, we've been together for a while now and have some strong ass feelings for each other. But damn it, pretty soon I need to go somewhere physically. I'm in high school...and this is my only chance to be in high school.

So we talked about it, and she's still set in her beliefs. I told her that soon (when I really want to go further), I will have to make a choice and see what I really want. In my mind, if I'm not spendin the rest of my life with this girl, why should I wait? Now, there's always chance that we will get married but still though, that's slim. Plus, marriage is the last thing on my mind. So why is she so up tight? And how can I get her to "open up" *no pun intended*

 

[Canadianpimpology]

Can anyone help me here?

 

[doctoroxygen]

Turn up the volume knob, i.e. get her really turned on gradually by smelling, light touching, etc. Then they never say no, at least in my experience.

 

[SnatchJP]

I dunno, just "turning up the volume" would probaly work after a few weeks but... 9 months? You could try, but I have my doubts.

I hate to say this but she's very unlikely to go all the way when she's that strongly set in her beleifs. I'm sure there are some on these boards who would say that she's not really into you if she's not taking off clothes after 9 months, and maybe they're right, but I don't think so.

I know many conservative christian ladies and often they have big rituals about this thing (abstinance group meetings, promise rings etc. etc.) Those are hard to crack. And if you did, she'd probably feel so guilty afterwards that she'd probably try to break up with you or something.

As bad as this is, especially when you think you're in love, if you want action, you're gonna have to look somewhere else.
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well...
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you COULD try pulling away from her and acting like you're losing interest, putting pressure on her, maybe getting her to hop in bed, but... I wouldn't reccomend it.

 

[Porky]

there was a thread on this. A guy, who had his girlfriend for over a year, couldn't get her to have sex with him. They'd done everything but sex.

anyway, he finally managed to get her to give it up by cutting off all sexual contact with her. I don't know if this will work for you, but try cutting off all physical contact with her for at least a week or two, an dstop acting as if she was your girlfriend. She has to take notice of this!

He was also telling his girl things like "I really feel like we've become just friends now." Bottom line is, she isn't really respecting you by not wanting to please you.

 

[M2k961]

It's not that she doesn't want to please him, it's that she thinks it would hurt, and is commited to her beliefs about saving for marriage.

I would say that it's a lost cause..

But good luck on whatever you try to pull

 

[Porky]

Yeah, if I were a girl I could see how giving a handjob to a guy would really cause me physical pain =)

 

[Salacious D]

Maybe try having her read this.

Misled by your absurd doctrines, with them for arms I mindlessly challenged the desires instilled in me by a much diviner inspiration, and thereof do I repent: I only plucked an occasional flower when I might have gathered an ample harvest of fruit

A Dialogue Between A Priest and a Dying Man, by the Marquis de Sade

 

[Canadianpimpology]

That is an excellent article. Thanks.

 

[Canadianpimpology]

Anything else?