How do I get her back?

[Drex1982]

I could certainly use some help/perspectives from you experts out there. Here is my story..


Me 28, She is 30, Dated for 5 months

She is getting immense pressure from her family to find a guy and get married. For some reason she doesnt see a future with me. her words, "you are amazing, I really really like you, you are one of the nicest guys I have ever met,,but I dont know if I see a future. And I am at the age, where I cant just date to date, I need to pretty much find a husband. If I was younger, I would absolutely date you for however long and see where things go, but I dont think I have the luxury of time anymore"

So I was like, this is a big mistake, we truly enjoy each other, you are not supposed to see a future after just 4 months. She said, maybe you are right.. but I need to figure things out first.

Thats how we left things 3 weeks ago, I read the No Contact theory I found on this forum and implemented it. She has contacted me multiple times since. Each time it was her contacting me, either by phone or txt or email. Everytime I keep saying, no we cant do this, not till you figure thigns out. Couple of times I faltered and we met up and hooked up, including the last time (a week ago) what she called, "the best sex she has ever had with anyone"

Honestly, I Could tell she is very stressed and confused over this decision.. but until she figures out in her head that there is a future here.. this will not go anywhere. Also, her mom didnt like me when I first met her for whatever reason. So that is weighing on her decision as well. I also know that her family has been setting her up with some other dudes to go on dates with (she went on a date 5 days after we broke up).

So what I really need help on is .. how do I get her back.. in a relationship, because I do truly care about her

Do I..
...go no contact.. till she clears her head and realizes we had something special and wants to continue the relationship and if she contacts me for any other reason other than to get back.. i turn her away

OR

...keep hooking up so she really never hooks up with any of the other guys and in the end, we are still "together" because we continue to talk and hang out

I appreciate your input in advance

 

[jophil28]

..I really really like you, you are one of the nicest guys I have ever met,,but I dont know if I see a future.

Frankly, when a woman says that, she has dismissed you as an LTR, or a potential husband . MY guess is that her genes are looking for some badazz genes.
She is continuing to see you and fukk you because she has no other contenders on the landscape YET. She also enjoys the emotional rewards and the hot sex. IF she tossed that all away she would have to exist in a total vacuum.
IF I were you I would start looking for her replacement before she locates yours.

 

[boomerick]

I think shes waiting for you to roll over and be her long term doormat...i.e. husband .....

The "I don't know if I see a future..." deal and her 'find a husband time schedule' is supposed to be your que to change and become good enough for her to accept into a long term relationship.....

In other words you're supposed to propose.....

Don't do it !!!!.....

If you do this you will loose her respect and get dumped for the next guy who doesnt seem measure up.....(but f*ckes her well)....

Or get into a marrage....which, in todays current configuration, is infinetly worse !!!!......

Keep the hot/cold push/pull no contact/she contacts you deal going while finding a couple of other girls to do the same with.....

She is trying to manipulate/steer you into her frame...

Into a proposal.......

DON'T DO IT !!!!!....

She's about a FB and not much else...

And even if and when she does marry another sucker.......

She'll come back and f*ck you when she feels like it....

Over and Out.