How do I get girls to open up?

[The LadyKiller]

No, not open up literally (though eventually :yes. I am having trouble with girls being able to open up to me in the area I live/work in now.

I have mentioned it before, but I work at a larger company in a non-populus region. With long hours and so many people in their early 20s, all our friends in the area are those who work at this company. I have friends not from work too, but that is in my hometown 2 hours away.

Onto the topic: I have noticed that most girls at work refuse to be themselves around me. Ever. Even away from the office. By this, I mean over-the-top professional in their tone. It comes off as obviously fake. They are "nice," but I don't know the real them. Before you ask, "Well they might be like this to all guys"...they're not. A lot of them are friends with guys; some even date.

I am a laid back/social guy around the office, but am more intense towards the actual work and doing the best job I can. I'll talk to people I know (guys and girls) or people who are helping me out on assignments because I want to get to know them and it loosens the atmosphere. I am always myself; no acts here.

Any thoughts or suggestions on how to get the girls to open up?

 

[perseverance]

Maybe they're not comfortable around you. Maybe they're snobby, self-conceited and self-centered women? At my previous job, I always treated my work colleagues as just that, work colleagues. I spoke to them at work, but never really socialised with them outside of work, unless it was at our Summer and Christmas work do's. Even at these functions, I still behaved myself because it was my job on the line and of course I didn't want to be talk of my work for drunken and disorderly behaviour. :crackup: Maybe, they have the same attitude?

 

[The LadyKiller]

Maybe, they have the same attitude?

This would be correct IMO if they acted like this towards most people. But that's not what's occurring. It's obvious some of these girls are being fake; they don't speak/act this professionally; it's cartoonish. And this takes place outside of the office too.

While I would like to know why they'd feel uncomfortable/act this way, I want to know how to get them to open up. I am an outgoing guy and have no issues talking with them. Like I said before, I'm always "me" whether it's at work or away from work, I don't change.

 

[perseverance]

This would be correct IMO if they acted like this towards most people. But that's not what's occurring. It's obvious some of these girls are being fake; they don't speak/act this professionally; it's cartoonish. And this takes place outside of the office too.

While I would like to know why they'd feel uncomfortable/act this way, I want to know how to get them to open up. I am an outgoing guy and have no issues talking with them. Like I said before, I'm always "me" whether it's at work or away from work, I don't change.

Maybe they just aren't comfortable around you? Who knows. If you have tried to strike up a conversation with them before and they were largely unresponsive then why waste your time? There used to be one guy at work who never really interacted with a majority of people at work, yet at our work do, he had consumed large quantities of alcohol and was suddenly everyone's best friend. We had another girl at work who didn't speak to me for two years and then one day randomly started a conversation with me. The world is full of weirdo's, ourselves included, just truck on man. Just take it from me, if a girl doesn't want to open up then she won't, just pay her/them no heed and continue life as you were.