"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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How do I game this SSHB (Super Shy Hot Body)?

allan976

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I posted this originally in the middle of another thread, but it's really a separate topic. How can I make any inroads with a painfully shy HB?

For example, I've been trying to game a very, very shy HB7.5 at my gym for the past four, five weeks (I see her at the gym once a week if I'm lucky). Before, when I was completely clueless (pre DJ Bible), this girl (Jackie) would give me buying signals such as staring, staring and smiling, and so on. She's really cute: about 5' 10", creamy white skin, nice legs, butt, boobs and dark hair and eyes, about 20 yrs. old. Now, in recent visits when I've tried to talk to her, this super shy girl will ONLY look at me over her shoulder. For some reason, it terrifies her to face me directly and hold a conversation. Until last week that is. She finally worked up enough courage to talk to me face to face. She also got into the strange habit of reaching into her shirt at the opening of the neck to stroke and massage the top of her chest while we talked.

Soooo, yesterday I tried approaching her directly from the front. I walk right up to her, holding eye contact, smiled and said 'hi, how are you, Jackie?' So what does she do? You guessed it, after this brief exchange of greetings, she turns around and high tails it directly into the employee's cubicle five feet behind us and closes the door!

PS: Her friend, a tall, athletic dirty blonde reacts to me in almost exactly the same way as Jackie. That is, she stares at me over her shoulder, then looks away immediately and darts away when I catch her staring.

Any suggestions on how to engage a PAINFULLY shy HB in conversation???
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Fenderules

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one girl i knew was smiliar. I always caught her staring but i kinda confonted her about saying she could not stop staring at me cause i was so dam hot. She turned red and kinda darted away. It was funny
 

Jake-inator

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Hahah... its called the curse of good looks.
It is also the reason why i am at this site.

Symptoms:

1. Girls will only stare at you when they don't see you looking,
and will never tell you that you're hot.

2. Only ugly fat chicks will come up to you and tell you how hot you are and drool all over you.

3. Stuck up girls with attitudes will hate your guts, cuz they think they can't have you. They'll try to bring you down to make themselves feel better.

4. Only older girls will usually flirt with you because they have enough self esteem.


Here's something funny, one of my ex-gfs told me that she thought i was "too good looking" for her and that she wasn't pretty enough for me. Crazy messed up chicks...:crazy:

I don't think you can really do anything about it besides acting friendly. Its their self-esteem problem not yours.
Still gets me mad, that average looking guys get all the play cuz off their self esteem issues. Makes me wish i was ugly sometimes... :D
 

Julian

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Dont stand right in front of her, it can be intimidating and the body language can be read as confrontational.

Nothing wrong with talking to her at an angle, as long as the eye contact is there...
 

allan976

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DJ Boot Camp,

Week 6, Day 4 (Wednesday):

12:30 PM:
Well, I attempted to number close on the SSHB today during a noontime workout at the gym. I approached her from the side, slightly from behind. I put my hand on her shoulder and said 'hey, how you doin'.

her: 'oh, hi.' She seems lukewarm in her response. 'what's up?' she says. Her tone of voice is now suspicious.

We fluff about how she's doing, what she's doing during the summer, and so on. After about three minutes or so, I attempt to number close. I am nervous, and am worried about 'running out of material' in our conversation.

me: 'well, I better get going. We can continue this conversation later....'

her: 'yeah, well I'll see you around at the gym...' she clearly knows that I am going to try to get a number and is attempting to cut me off at the pass (or is it just my imagination in retrospect?).

me: 'I think I'm gonna go get some work done. Give me your number and we'll talk later.'

her: 'ummm, well I have a boyfriend, and I don't think he'd like that very much.'

me: 'oh ok, well talk to you later then.'

I know, I know, I know. Shoulda followed up with a neg hit or tease or two or three about the borefriend. I know. But for some reason, that line just chases me out of the room with my tail between my legs! :eek:

At that particular moment, however, I was SO RELIEVED to have attempted the close and gotten the rejection overwith. The weeks of wondering and interpreting mixed signals was just a huge drain on me emotionally.

Lesson learned: develop a rapport the FIRST time you meet a girl and close right then and there. Waiting for a second or third conversation places you in the friend's zone, or simply gives the target time to think up possible objections. Closing the first time allows you to control the frame and allows the girl to 'get caught up in the moment.'

Critiques of my approach are welcome.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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