How do i gain her trust?

[Krassus]

There's this girl i've met several weeks ago. We talk every few days, but i keep conversations short to avoid falling into the friend zone. I've told her as little as i could about myself and found out a lot about her. I know she likes me, how much i'm not sure. But she's usually the one to initiate contact and seems very curious about me.

Today, we ended up having a rather strange conversation. It started out by her saying that if she ever says anything romantic or sexual, i shouldn't take it seriously, because she sees me as a friend. I was fairly surprised because i can tell fairly easily if a girl wants to be more than a friend, and she does.

So of course, i kept it cool and even neg-hitted her by saying that she shouldn't worry about us ever being anything more than friends, because a girl as fickle (refring to her obvious undecisiveness about the way she feels towards me) as her would drive any boyfriend crazy.

Then i stirred the conversation towards what she said and why she said it, and after convincing her that she can open up to me, she said she would fall in love with me if only she wasn't afraid that i'd betray her trust like the last guy she loved.

Now, i avoid talking about her past because ex-boyfriend discussions also seem to lead to friend zone, so i know little about what happened, but i think it's only been about 3 months since they broke up. So it seems like she's not ready for another relationship.

So we decided to remain friends for the time being, which i'm cool with since i don't particularly want to date her, but she does have a lot of qualities i seek in a girl, so i'd like to keep the option open. So with that said, how do i gain her trust? I'm not gonna rush it, but i want her to know i won't hurt her.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

I know what happened without knowing anything about this situation. If she is not a virgin then she had sex with dude and he gave her what she wanted and hit 'it' like a champ only to leave her cryimg crockadile tears when he dumped her. Don't mention sex or act like you want her for that only - but make her think you like her as a person and not because of her vagina! You will gain her trust but it takes time!!

 

[tactic]

proove it to her that you're trusting

 

[Genghis Juan]

Be strong, trustful, but also don't take any **** from her either. She may throw some **** tests from time to time, be strong.

When you talk to her, continue to flirt with her, keep the sexual tension there, so she knows that you are not some unsexual eunuch.

Good choice to keep your options open though.

 

[Walk this Way]

This brings up an interesting topic: If you remain friends with a woman for some time, is it even possible to keep that option open?

 

[Mercenary]

F her.

I think it's a bit AFCish to "prove that she can trust you". You are there to qualify HER.

Whenever a woman starts comparing you to another man that is a red flag. This is no different. The minute you begin trying to show that you are "better" than this anonymous guy, is the minute you lose the advantage in the relationship.

Don't believe me?

What does it say about her confidence in you when you say:

"she would fall in love with me if only she wasn't afraid that i'd betray her trust like the last guy she loved"

I think this is bs and you shouldn't change your attitude regarding the situation... she's just another woman

 

[Ice Cold]

Well, fukk her and don't leave her. This will make her trust you.

You have her emotionally hooked. The chances are, she's not gonna be able to say if you promise stuff and let her get lost in the moment.

You won't ever "gain her trust" before fukkin her. She wants to do it, she just needs you to push her over the line.

Cheers

 

[Genghis Juan]

Walk this Way,

This is an interesting topic. I think if a girl is on the rebound, its best to back off. Her feelings are really volatile so she probably has no idea what she genuinely feels. He encouraged her to open up to him, but thats kind of a friend-thing to do. She just broke up with her BF so there really is no telling what the F she wants to do. It also depends on her morals, character and maturity. If she has her "head on her shoulders", she will just stay alone and wait for her feelings to settle. If she is immature with crappy morals, she will treat him like crap and lie to him. So I would advice to keep a certain amount of physical and emotional distance. Unless your just in it for rebound sex, you don't want to be her rebound guy.

 

[silverwex]

since i don't particularly want to date her

You go to all the trouble of posting a long thread on how u wanna be with this girl and then go say that?

Duh!

Gaining trust takes time.

 

[AFK Protector]

Yea, I need help with this too, so I'm bumping it.

::bump::

 

[Krassus]

It looks like i'm making some progress, towards what i'm not sure, but we'll have to see. I can tell she's starting to trust me now.

 

[ToP DoN]

fvck her

ask if u can fvck her

 

[uniassign]

I've told her as little as i could about myself and found out a lot about her. I know she likes me, how much i'm not sure. But she's usually the one to initiate contact and seems very curious about me.

You can only remain mysterous and C&F for so long before a chick will next you.

Time to give her some rapport. Take her out to a picnic or something and just hang out with her.

Talk about you as a person, where you grew up, what you want to achieve in life. Tell her funny experiences, tell her your hobbies and share your embarrassing stories. Ask her to do the same.

Show her your personality and your identity. She will want more from you as a result.

 

[Krassus]

Originally posted by uniassign
I've told her as little as i could about myself and found out a lot about her. I know she likes me, how much i'm not sure. But she's usually the one to initiate contact and seems very curious about me.

You can only remain mysterous and C&F for so long before a chick will next you.

Time to give her some rapport. Take her out to a picnic or something and just hang out with her.

Talk about you as a person, where you grew up, what you want to achieve in life. Tell her funny experiences, tell her your hobbies and share your embarrassing stories. Ask her to do the same.

Show her your personality and your identity. She will want more from you as a result.

Yeah that's what i did and it seems to be working. I got an email from her this morning saying she saw me in her dreams. It was a little weird

 

[HuuBinh]

im in agreement with Mer and Ice on this one, why would you want to gain her trust anyway? its all bs when she said that she has to trust u to fall in love with you. bottom line is that she's isn't interested.