How do I escape the wreckage?

[The Comeback Kid]

I promised to keep this not long (so there will be a lot of specifics missing), but I really need some help.

Last night was great...that was, until the very end. I invted the girl I like (and her sister) to a party at my buddy's house. At the drop of a hat, they drove over an hour up to hang out. We had a really fun time, the one setback was that the girl I like had work early the next day (but still came to the party), so she went to sleep at 2am.

Unfortunately, she didn't know that my friends and I can't really sleep during these sort of sleepover events. First off, the party lasted a few more hrs, and then there were a few of us still around. Me and three of my best friends (aside from the host) were being loud upstairs, near where this girl was trying to sleep. At 6:30 (when we were thinking of taking everyone in the house to Denny's or IHOP), we hear a rumble from her room, and we all hide in different areas. Things got worse...she stormed out and announced she was leaving because she couldn't sleep.

Because I decided to take any sort of responsibility here (I'm the one who knows them and I was one of the noisemakers), the girl was obviously upset with me (her sister didn't care, she was cool with everything), and that was it.

So here's the problem. The girl I like is apparently furious at me, and is looking for an apology. However, I'm reluctant to give her one. You see, she decided to come to this party, she didn't drink much because she had work the next day, and there's no way she got sleep with the party going on right there. Even worse, she won't talk to me. This girl is absolutely great - we usually get along really well, we have chemistry, and she looks pretty good too.

What do I do - how do I make things right? I tend to beat myself up on little things, but her reaction makes this one seems legit. I'm not going to say I have one-itis, but I do like this girl a lot. We've known each other for a while, as I know her through family friends. I can't see this one "maybe" mistake being the end all of us getting along and such. For some strange reason, this is hitting me really hard, moreso than any rejection I've ever gotten - it sort of feels like a breakup (minus the whole dating history part)!

 

[TheBucketOfTruth]

Has she been to similar things before? Did she know what to expect? It sounds like she went out of her way to hang out with you and your friends with the little time she had because she wanted to. It sucks that she couldn't sleep, but it happens. You already said you took responsibility, so that should be enough. The problem here is that if you apologize even more, you look like a pvssy, and if you don't, you look like an ass. I would say that you guys were just having a good time and weren't trying to wake anybody up. Maybe someone else can give more detailed advice, but I'd steer clear of apologizing too much.

 

[The Comeback Kid]

Has she been to similar things before? Did she know what to expect? It sounds like she went out of her way to hang out with you and your friends with the little time she had because she wanted to. It sucks that she couldn't sleep, but it happens. You already said you took responsibility, so that should be enough. The problem here is that if you apologize even more, you look like a pvssy, and if you don't, you look like an ass. I would say that you guys were just having a good time and weren't trying to wake anybody up. Maybe someone else can give more detailed advice, but I'd steer clear of apologizing too much.

This was the first time we've hung out aside from the annual family get-together. She told me to call her next time we knew of a party or wanted to hang out, so that's what I did.

As for her expecting it...I sure hope so. We're both in college, but I think she was distracted by the fact she still had work in the morning the next day. As I mentioned, she tried going to sleep at 2am, but at a party no one is getting a ton of sleep.

Yeah, I took resposibility. I know her a lot more than any of my other friends, and I'm probably the reason she made the trip up. There is no way I'm throwing anyone else into this - I'll deal with her unhapiness and she should come around within a few days (I hope). I do recognize the whole apolgy issue, so I asked a few of my friends about it as well.

One friend said we didn't really do anything wrong (I can agree with that), so I can't apologize. Another friend said to apologize - not all-out though, just because it's not worth risking the relationship (friends, dating, etc.).

So I'm actually not real sure what to do here, but I have one approach. If she is over it, everything is good, no problem. However, if I call her, she picks up, and she is still mad, I will deliver the greatest speech/pick-up line I have ever composed, full of personal positive things that we did that night (it's light and short too). It may reveal that I "like" her sooner than I'd like, but I think that could work if I had to do it.

 

[Kidquick]

In my mind there isn't anything to apologize for. She knew this was a party she was going to, correct? You didn't tell her you guys were going to sit around and read the bible and sip cokes until her bedtime? She came to the party on her own free will - if sleep was important to her because she had to get up early for work then she should have stayed home. Expecting everyone to cater to her little beddy-bye time was her mistake.

 

[The Comeback Kid]

In my mind there isn't anything to apologize for. She knew this was a party she was going to, correct? You didn't tell her you guys were going to sit around and read the bible and sip cokes until her bedtime? She came to the party on her own free will - if sleep was important to her because she had to get up early for work then she should have stayed home. Expecting everyone to cater to her little beddy-bye time was her mistake.

Exactly. But what am I to do? I would think it has blown over right now, but I have a hunch she's not mad at my friends...but at me. Yeah, I took the blame for it being a little bit too loud right in front of her room (we were horsing around), but I didn't think she'd hold a grudge.

Furthermore, I have to get us back on the same track. It doesn't even have to do with feelings...the fact our families are friends and the fact I've known her (technically) for years gives me enough pressure to make this work.