How do I enjoy things if I'm sort of ****?

[L16]

How do you guys find enjoyment/fulfillment from things you like but aren't necessarily good at?

I find that unless I'm good at something or at least see continuing improvement, I don't enjoy my hobbies or things I've tried.

People always suggest do things for fun or because you like them or find them interesting, then I do and I find I'm just average as **** at those things and don't seem to get much better. That becomes frustrating/disappointing.

It's like the desire to want to be good at certain things in a way prevents me from being any good at them. But also, maybe I completely lack any sort of talent and anything I try I'll only ever be somewhere around average or worse.

Not sure how to get over these feelings/thoughts and just enjoy.

 

[powersize]

How do you guys find enjoyment/fulfillment from things you like but aren't necessarily good at?

I find that unless I'm good at something or at least see continuing improvement, I don't enjoy my hobbies or things I've tried.

People always suggest do things for fun or because you like them or find them interesting, then I do and I find I'm just average as **** at those things and don't seem to get much better. That becomes frustrating/disappointing.

It's like the desire to want to be good at certain things in a way prevents me from being any good at them. But also, maybe I completely lack any sort of talent and anything I try I'll only ever be somewhere around average or worse.

Not sure how to get over these feelings/thoughts and just enjoy.

Isn’t it because you want other people to recognize how good you are at doing it?

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Need resilience in your life, your job as a man is to offer resistance to all things, your own need to be comfortable is at the top of that list.

 

[jimwho]

Keep in mind that many things get harder as you get better, and you're getting better but don't know it. For instance,
You take up mountain biking and its hard. Years later you're a pro and its just as hard. The difference is your just going faster. Skiing, you start out on the easy stuff and you eventually go big. The difference is you are way better but taking on big challenges and you think you suck, but in reality you don.t. Have fun.

 

[xplt]

I heard once, you need to enjoy the process of getting good and then you know you found something you‘re really passionate about.

I found this pretty accurate for me.

The things I enjoy learning are the things that stay with me

 

[Atom Smasher]

You need to chunk your activities down to micro-goals.
Men usually experience what you are describing when they are looking too much at the big picture and the end result, instead of enjoying a process of small victories.

When you were a baby just learning how to walk, you didn’t ruminate and ponder why you were having trouble. No, you fell down hundreds if not thousands of times, and simply got up each time and tried again. I’m willing to bet you’re walking like a champ these days.

@L16 give me an example of one of the pursuits that frustrate you. I think we can turn that around and make it enjoyable, and that will extend out to other activities.

 

[ubercat]

Haha I m a project manager or business analyst by trade. Through a bunch of unlikely circumstances I m programming in my current gig on top of the BA work. Never coded so it was sheer pain. Application will be delivered in the next week. You have to learn how to talk to yourself. Inner talk and having a variety of mindsets you can pick up like hats help a lot.

And you ve done the right thing by posting. Gameifying and making it social also help

 

[ubercat]

Btw @Atom Smasher hackiest code ever you d want a fork for each eye

 

[ubercat]

Of course having two senior posters with over a century of life experience between them respond and not turning up to your own thread is a bit of a motivational fail.

 

[Kotaix]

How do you guys find enjoyment/fulfillment from things you like but aren't necessarily good at?

I find that unless I'm good at something or at least see continuing improvement, I don't enjoy my hobbies or things I've tried.

People always suggest do things for fun or because you like them or find them interesting, then I do and I find I'm just average as **** at those things and don't seem to get much better. That becomes frustrating/disappointing.

It's like the desire to want to be good at certain things in a way prevents me from being any good at them. But also, maybe I completely lack any sort of talent and anything I try I'll only ever be somewhere around average or worse.

Not sure how to get over these feelings/thoughts and just enjoy.

This sounds like an instant gratification problem. You will only get as good as you give. If you practice a lot or all the time then you will get better at it. And the further you go into mastery of something, the longer the plateaus will be between sudden leaps in capability, but you will improve.

Don't fall for the trap of thinking that you need talent, that is just a cope for giving up. Success is 99% determination and 1% talent.

 

[Mike32ct]

You have to be clear about what you want. Usually there are two types of “hobbies”:

1. I’m doing this for purely for fun, and I don’t care how good or bad I am at it. If I get better at it, that’s cool. If I get burned out and quit eventually (and move to another hobby) because it’s too hard or no longer fun, that’s ok too.

2. I’m seriously committed to mastering this skill. I’ll try to enjoy the process along the way, but I accept that it’s going to be hard work and not necessarily fun.


A common mistake is starting off as #1 and then kicking yourself because you didn’t improve much like you would have for #2.

Pick one path and own it. Or get seriously committed and upgrade from #1 to #2.