How do I deal with these girls I'm not even dating??

[Inc. ©]

I've been meeting a bunch of girls lately through online dating. The thing is I'm setting up a friends context and not a dating context. I don't bring up the idea of dating at all. I just say I'm new in town and want to meet new people, chat a bit, get their number, and set up a coffee "date". I don't even really consider these things dates, but of course I keep my options open. The problem is I don't know who is romantically interested and who is not! A girl I went out with Monday (actually this girl I see more as a friend than a date anyways) invited me to this event on Saturday with a friend of hers...I don't know what context to view this thing in!

I meet some of these girls on dating sites and some on platonic oriented sites. Whereever I meet them though I don't chat or e-mail them like a potential date. I think this is kinda different than the friend zone because I am putting these girls in the friendzone by default, but then I want to have the option of going to dating mode. How do I make the transition?

BTW, this gameplan is working very well...I've got my third date in about a week in an hour and I've still got I think 4 numbers I need to call.

 

[Desdinova]

You have to move everything in the direction you want to move it in. The woman won't make the connection that you're dating her because you met her on a dating site. Instead of letting the service make the connection, you need to make it.

Get them off the internet and into real life ASAP. A couple of emails back and forth, and you should grab their number. Then, forget the internet and use the phone. Set up a date.

You set the speed of how things progress, and you lead the progression. Coffee dates are non-threatening. If you like the girl, a 30 minute coffee date is enough. Leave the coffee shop and take her out on a date. If you want to move slower, save the second date for another day. YOU set the speed of progression. However, it must be a progression. You can't jump stages by saying "Let's fvck" when you haven't even met her in person.

Also, quit relying on internet dating and land some women in real life. Real life experience is the only way to learn how to date (without actually saying the word "date")

 

[Inc. ©]

Originally posted by Desdinova
Also, quit relying on internet dating and land some women in real life. Real life experience is the only way to learn how to date (without actually saying the word "date")

I don't think you understand. Internet dating means I meet them online and then in real life ASAP. I've had 3 dates in the last 5 days and at least 2 I will be seeing again. What I'm doing is working fine. I just got back from the coffee shop with an HB8 who I had a lot to talk about with. My only issue is how and when to escalate to dates instead of hangouts.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Inc. ©
I don't think you understand. Internet dating means I meet them online and then in real life ASAP. I've had 3 dates in the last 5 days and at least 2 I will be seeing again. What I'm doing is working fine. I just got back from the coffee shop with an HB8 who I had a lot to talk about with. My only issue is how and when to escalate to dates instead of hangouts.

Get use to the misconception that guys who use the Internet never actually meet the women. You're rocking, keep up the good work!

As for your question about how to move onto dates instead of hangouts, here's some suggestions:

1. Start having your dates after dusk. Daytime dates have 'hangout' written all over them. Nighttime dates however, infer romance.
2. Get a bit more serious during the dates. Still be engaging and charming but start having deeper conversations. Stay away from relationship type things, it's too early. Find out what she's passionate about, how she would change the world, her favorite childhood memories... Knowledge of these things could prove beneficial in the future.
3. KINO, KINO, KINO... A lingering touch of her hand can say a lot. A few of these well timed could speak volumes.
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[S-lemond]

yea