How do i control emotional attachment?

[Krassus]

How do i control emotional attachment? I've noticed that just like everything else, you get better at it with practice. But i gotta be honest with myself, which means admitting that i don't have full control of it. And i want to, i really do. I know that it would make my life a whole lot easier!

A girl recently came along that is both good looking and intelligent. I've managed to keep a cool head so far, but i can feel attachment slowly creeping up on me. And if i'm gonna play my cards right here, i need a cool head! The good news is that i never placed her on a pedestal - i see her flaws and all. But nevertheless, what i said about attachment stands.

So does anyone have any tips or techniques on controlling emotional attachment that they'd like to share?

 

[Slickster]

Are you sure you aren't confusing feelings of attachment with feelings of desperation?

I'm not sure how you could become attached to someone you don't really know all that well and haven't spent much time with.

 

[legolas]

Usually for me emotional attachment happens a lot when things move quickly. That is I meet the girl, and I see interest right away, and she's available and all thats tuff and when it happens quickly, it's like I can smell success which means, I'm hooked.

Usually when thigs move very slowly, and I have rare contact with the girl, there is less of an attachment. I know many guys will say, "Well go see other girls and there will be less attachment" but it isn't like that. More often than not, the other girls just make the attachment stronger.

The secret to avoiding the attachment, is to have some other hobby that you can devote some time to, and slow things down with the girl. It helps if she is busy.

 

[Krassus]

Hobbies are great when it comes to keeping your mind off things, but that's more like avoiding thinking about this stuff, rather than confronting and controlling it. There's gotta be a better way than that.

 

[NewMan]

I like to walk - think about the situation and disect it in my head. I find that by the end of an hour or two walk, I've got my mind squared away and I know what I'm doing...

 

[WatchMeWalk]

Ever since my ugly bout with one-itis last year, I'm always haunted by a sobering cloud of cynicism whenever I get excited by an HB. It's only when my mood is in a major slump that I am vulnerable to losing control and have an AFC relapse.
I'm not sure I can ever truly be infatuated again. At least for a significant period of time.

 

[legolas]

Originally posted by Krassus
Hobbies are great when it comes to keeping your mind off things, but that's more like avoiding thinking about this stuff, rather than confronting and controlling it. There's gotta be a better way than that.

Alright, here's my secret weapon. Usually thinking about stuff is way faster than talking about it, or writing it down. Actually writing it down is the slowest of the two. So:

1. Sit in front of your PC and open up a new document on your word processor, or a new text file. I like text files becaue I have a program that opens them fast and text can be read anywhere.

2. Write your thoughts as they come to you. Write about your feelings, every intricate detail. After a while, the feelings should level down because you're noticing them and letting them go. If you don't have a PC at the time when it hits you, just use a notebook.

 

[iqqi]

whatever you do do not lose yourself. i'll be writing a nice post about htis as soon as i get it all straight in my head. it is THE LESSON i learned in this past doomed relationship. will share it soon.