"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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How do I break up with my gf?

iluvfemales

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I've been dating this girl for 2 years. I really enjoyed being with her in the beginning and was very attracted to her. In secret I know that this relationship wouldn't last long when I began it because despite my gf beauty she wasn't very fulfilling as a person. She has no hobbies and very little in common with me. Well now I'm in the stage where I have little or no feeling for her but she is completely obsessed with me. Frankly I'm feeling smothered. After a year of turning down girls that wanted to date me I finally broke. A few nights ago at a bar a cute girl just walked up to me and asked to make out. Well I did and realized that I just cheated on my gf for the first time and I didn't even feel guilty. So I know now is the time to break up before it's too late but I'm seriously having a hard time growing the backbone to do it. It's not out of fear of finding another girl, it's just how bad I'm going to feel when I break her heart. But I know beyond a shadow of a doubt I will be better off in the end. Any advice?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Thorns

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It's good that you're considering both of your situations here. I'd advise not to feed her emotions with anything, no hugging just because she does, the like. Just start cutting those things off. If she asks, sit her down and break it too her, don't apologize this is how you feel and you can't change that.
 

NickSCFC2000

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Just say "I don't think this relationship's going anywhere."

Simple
 
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I'm good in that department, I just know how to fvck things up naturally with girls and am definately qualified to give advice on negative threads like this, just say you feel 'neutral' towards her and that you think that there is a good friendship.
 

StrongBad

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I just did this on Sunday

I'm in a similar situation as you.

Met a girl 6 months ago. She's a great person, and it's quite rare for me to say that because it is rare for me to find a person (of either sex) who I'm comfortable with completely.

I was definitely very into her at first, enjoying the phase of "new love", but in the back of my mind had this nagging feeling that she wasn't "the one".

So, fast forward those six months to Sunday, and I wake up with the realization that this girl is falling very hard for me and getting into the very serious stage. And all the while I feel nothing in the same league unfortunately.

So I broke it off. It's hard watching someone you genuinely care and have respect for in such pain on account of your actions, but trust me it's the right thing to do. If you care for them but not in the same way they do you, they deserve to know and start on the path to meeting the person that is truly the one for them.

It will hurt you too, don't think you'll come out unscathed because you'll feel the dissapointment that comes with a failed relationship.

But prolonging this will only bring resentment and misery and the loss of any chance to tolerate each other after the breakup.

So my advice? Just do it. You've already cheated and that tells your heart is not with her. Don't drag it out, just sit her down and do it. She's going to be upset but it's natural and expected.
You may think you're sparing them pain but you're really not.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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DJ1234

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you could try to get her to break up with you if you don't have the backbone to tell her... by acting as AFC as possible like just showing waaay tooo much attention is sure to get her not liking you...
Either way I would give her the good ol' "LJBF" that every girl gives a guy that they don't like/don't want to be with anymore....
 

mintxx

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funny, i just posted something similar in the m man forum and realised i could have said it so much more simply. good advice here for young and old. mintxx
 

iluvfemales

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Thorns said:
It's good that you're considering both of your situations here. I'd advise not to feed her emotions with anything, no hugging just because she does, the like. Just start cutting those things off. If she asks, sit her down and break it too her, don't apologize this is how you feel and you can't change that.
I wish I read that last night, lol. Good advice from everyone but what makes my situation a little sticky is that she lives literally a mile away from me. Last night she just came by, ready to go and man, it is really hard to say no to a hot girl that horny. So yeah, I gave in but your all right. By doing that I'm just making it worse. I was thinking that I could just be indifferent for a week till she sees something is wrong then when we have "the talk" I just throw it out there. I feel like I could do it if we're already in a fight it's just really hard when she looks into my eyes and says "I love you" and all I want to say is "goodbye". Do you think that's kinda f.ucked up to go about it that way? I'm just trying to do this in the kindest way possible.
 
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