"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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How do I be DJ in this situation: LTR gf

Lion

Senior Don Juan
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My gf friend recently almost died and is now recovering in hospital.

He is one of her best friends. He is gay and my gf thinks of him as her little brother.

He is quite an outrageous character who some people find irritating but I can appreciate his character and am sad this has happend to him and sorry for the suffering it has caused friends including my gf and his family.

She and his other friends & familu have been visiting him in hosptial every day and he is making good progress.



She has called me twice, wanting to chat as normal and reporting updates on her friend's condition. She has become very tired and is busy all week starting uni but wants to see me before she goes.

I said I'd call her later to arrange meeting up. I want to be there for her without being what is called an "emotional tampon"
Anyone been in the same situation before?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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MMA Juan

Don Juan
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You won't be an emotional tampon in this situation because its different.

One of the important parts of being in a relationship is communication- which is on all levels being physically and emotionally.

Obviously your girl is going to be upset that her friend is in hospital, if she feels comfortable in talking with you than that's a good thing.

An 'emotional tampon' situation would be a relationship where she leans on your shoulder telling you her problems and worries, and there wasn't that other important factor of the relationship: the 'physical'

But since she is your girlfriend, i'm going to assume that both factors are there.

Be there for your girlfriend; and besides- you got nothing to worry about her talking about him- he's gay.
 

KontrollerX

Master Don Juan
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This is not the kind of situation where being a confidant is bad.

Absolutely support your girl through this time.

Its part of what a good relationship is all about.
 

Lion

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Many thanks MMA Juan & Kontroller X, I identify with what you are saying and I want to be there for her.
 
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