How didi you gain confidence

[SayWhat]

I know my main problem is confidence. I always **** it up due to this low confidence. I think about everything I do, say and act how the other persons will think of me. This of course comes over as insencere and low confidence.

Anyone has good tips or self help books about this? I tried a psychiatrist but this didn't help.

 

[BrownBear]

I say to myself "I am a complete loser" everyday

 

[Neon Owl]

You gain confidence by doing things outside your comfort zone as often as possible. It's not easy and you will feel anxious but there really is no better way of desensitising yourself to something.

 

[lil hooligan]

Wait for it... ALCOHOL

I dont know i thought that iv always had it but seems as of late iv pulled it out of the bag, i think i must have just thought... FVCK IT

 

[Hustlaz Ambition]

You gain confidence by doing things outside your comfort zone as often as possible. It's not easy and you will feel anxious but there really is no better way of desensitising yourself to something.

This

Night game in packed venues is how I "jumped" to that next level.

 

[evan12]

I found socializing with people give really a good confidant , that is why social people are very confidant .

 

[whatwg]

I think about everything I do, say and act how the other persons will think of me. This of course comes over as insencere and low confidence.

You must think well of yourself first, and when that happens you won't think about how other people will think of you. And then you'll come across as confident.

 

[GotED?]

I gained confidence by learning to spell the title of a thread and knowing correct grammer/spelling correctly to start with.

 

[zekko]

You have to break the habit of negative thinking, and instead think positively about yourself. You have to be on your own side, because no one else is going to do it for you. Negative thinking is a habit, you have to replace it with more positive habits.

Even if you were really the biggest loser on the planet, you would accomplish more by thinking positive than by thinking negatively. I used to be very negative, and would get down on myself routinely. But I finally realized that all the negative thinking kept leaving me in the same lousy spot, and I had to change it.

Confidence is a decision. Decide to have confidence in yourself, and stick to it.

 

[Smell The Glove]

You have to break the habit of negative thinking, and instead think positively about yourself. You have to be on your own side, because no one else is going to do it for you. Negative thinking is a habit, you have to replace it with more positive habits.

Even if you were really the biggest loser on the planet, you would accomplish more by thinking positive than by thinking negatively. I used to be very negative, and would get down on myself routinely. But I finally realized that all the negative thinking kept leaving me in the same lousy spot, and I had to change it.

Confidence is a decision. Decide to have confidence in yourself, and stick to it.

^ This is a good post.

In addition to that, do your best to act as, and nurture your best self.

For example me personally, I aspire to be a great painter and musician, but I've spent a long time wasting away days playing video/computer games.

It's a choice I make on a daily/momentary basis whether I choose to waste my time on games, or pursue my passion.

I don't spend all my time on my passion, sometimes I find myself wasting my time on games, but I do my best to tip the balance in favor of my aspirations.

So I realize the more I pursue my passion, the better I feel about myself, and my confidence grows.

Find out what you love, and make the decision to put your heart into it.

 

[namismybabe]

In a few ways:

- Eliminate doubts
- not give a crap what others think
- stand my ground at all times
- think positive internally
- see myself as worthwhile

PUA is largely poo, but inner game is one of its positive aspects IMO. Without inner game/confidence there is no game period.

Another thing is that confidence is somebody everybody can have and everyone needs, and really comes from self-acceptance and being comfortable in one's own skin as the saying goes. I find guys who lack confidence often only do so since they listen to what the media say. look, confidence is not based on being popular or handsome or a partier. Popular people generally are more confident than loners, but it's not something required for confidence. I'd advise guys who lack confidence not to watch or listen to media outlets. No Chelsea Lately, no sitcoms, etc. that will worsen your mental state.

 

[pdx1138]

surprised nobody mentioned some key points in getting it done.

Work out at the gym or go running....endorphin release will help greatly.

Upgrade your wardrobe.

Just looking good is a MAJOR contributor to confidence.

 

[Marker]

I would say the best ways to gain confidence are to a.) ignore your ego, b.) try new things, c.) live with a purpose.

Your ego keeps you from doing a lot of things. Have you ever taken LSD? You get into this place where nothing matters but the present moment; you are on drugs but you have your senses entirely about you; some people (ie Huxley) would argue that you are even more in-tune with your senses. What I am getting at here is that your mind and your ego mess up your intuition and spontaneity.

Stepping out of your comfort zone is a big one. You need to constantly improve yourself and live your life. Do you lift weights? No? You should go to the gym right now. Want to start mountain biking? Go do that. Basically if there is something you want to do, you need to do it.

That all leads into living your life. Confidence is built on the inside, but it also requires a certain amount of validation from your peers. You might be an amazing painter, but if you don't publicly display your art and get random validation, you'll never actually know how good you are (or how bad). You need to find and pursue and do activities that allow you to experiment and interact with other human beings. This will build confidence. When you find an activity which you excel at or love (or even better at, both), you need to follow it with all of your heart.

You need to take risks. Risk taking will build confidence. And you'll fail. Weak men cry about failure and spend more energy attempting to deflect failure than trying to change and learn. Strong men fail all the time and learn from it and perpetually change.

The easiest way to build confidence (in my opinion) is to eat healthy and work out. It's like a self-fulfilling prophecy. I used to have drug problems; then I said "this is stupid" and started working out. As I got better and better looking physically my confidence exploded and I started doing more and more things until I ultimately built a life for myself which I love being a part of. Everything started with trying to run around the block, which I couldn't do when I started.