Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

How did you start caring again?

Ridingthelightning

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I have come to a conclusion that I've stopped caring about what people are telling me for the most part. It all seems trivial and I'm really only concerned with me. Anyone else feel this way?
And the question... if you did, how did you change from that?
 

Ridingthelightning

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lol
there is no pitty party when you simply just don't care about what people are saying to you. Who would you be pittying?
 

SharinganUser

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You're pittying yourself.

If you want to change and get better, that's something you have to do and figure out on your own. No body is going to hold your hand and no one can give you a step by step process to getting better. The only thing I can say to you is that you need to stop focusing on yourself and start focusing on something else. Get outside your head.
 

zekko

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You're pittying yourself.

If you want to change and get better, that's something you have to do and figure out on your own. No body is going to hold your hand and no one can give you a step by step process to getting better.
Dude, he's not pitying himself at all, I don't even know where you're getting this. Out of all the posts here that are self pitying, you pick on this one? Makes no sense. You don't even know how to spell it. The dude comes here for advice and you just tell him to figure it out on his own? What's this forum for anyway?

Ridingthelightning, apparently you're so self involved you have no interest in what anyone else is up to. Maybe you can use that selfcenterdness to your advantage. Remember you can learn from other people's mistakes so it's good to listen to other people's stories. Other people are also important for networking and social proof, so get into them for that, feign interest to manipulate them for your own ends as it were. It would be best if you actually took an interest in your fellow man, but until then I'd say fake it until you make it.
 

ThatMysteriousGuy

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Ridingthelightning said:
I have come to a conclusion that I've stopped caring about what people are telling me for the most part. It all seems trivial and I'm really only concerned with me. Anyone else feel this way?
And the question... if you did, how did you change from that?
Lock yourself in a room for a few days with no distractions, no reading, no phone, no alcohol, no internet, nothing to do except think. Or, take a trip and stay in a motel room with "don't disturb" on it. No TV, no radio, turn the clock around so you can't see the time.

You've got to find your purpose. You have one, everyone has one, you just don't know what it is.

It'll come to you because your mind will not have much to do without outside stimulation. Eventually, what it is that you really want will pop into your mind.

Even better, if you have the money, hook up with a vision quest group. They'll train you in some basic survival stuff and you'll go off to be by yourself with nature for a period of time. It doesn't matter if you believe in spirituality or not, it works regardless so don't have negative feelings about what you're being talked to about, that's irrelevant.

You'll come back a very different and enhanced person.
 

SharinganUser

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zekko said:
Dude, he's not pitying himself at all, I don't even know where you're getting this. Out of all the posts here that are self pitying, you pick on this one? Makes no sense. You don't even know how to spell it. The dude comes here for advice and you just tell him to figure it out on his own? What's this forum for anyway?
I think he has some issues with depression, as it is suggested in his siggy. It's textbook for people with depression to seek out people who have overcome their problems and then said depressed makes one or to lame attempts at doing the overcoming the real problem, and then uses that validate their failed attempts at life. Hence self pity.

This forum is for learning how to better your self in ways that relate to meeting/dating/banging women. As far as we know his problem has not impeded his ability to any of those things. The point I was trying to make was that there is no magic bullet, no easy way out, no enchanted pill and no one is going to hold his hand. As such there is no exact road map for getting over one's personal issues. Could take a month, could take years. Usually it's years.

I gave him some advice, he needs to get outside his head. Stop thinking through things and just do them. If you want to learn how to play basketball, you go and play and do some drills. If he wants to start caring about what people have to say to him, then he has to practicing that and doing that no matter how hard it is for him at first.

His problem isn't that he doesn't care about what others say, his problem is that he's stopped caring and wants to change that. Something has happened to him that has affected him to the point where it's affecting his out look on himself.
 

vlf445

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To the "master dj" above me, this forum is about more than meeting/dating/banging women. Most of the people here are smart enough to realize that the depression issues you're accusing the OP of will affect his abilities with women. Moreover...this forum is here for help, don't tell this guy to go "figure it out". We're here because we after much effort...we couldn't just "figure it out".

To the OP...I feel like I'm in the same position of you. I frankly just don't care about what most people have to say. I can give an honest effort, but I feel like it's almost impossible to focus completely on conversation with people because I don't usually care about what they say. I feel like half of conversation is listening to another person tell you sh!t so they can boost their ego. I can't stand listenin to girls talk sometimes...."so many guys like me" "I have so many stalkers" "listen to how this creep hit on me at blah blah blah....". Guys are just as guilty, if not more. Maybe I'm blaming my own poor social skills on others, but conversation is really such a chore most of the time.
 

Desert Fox

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To the OP:

Why do you want to care again? Man, when I stopped caring, it felt SOOOO good and I haven't gone back since! I have little interest in other people besides myself and direct family. I only care if something terrible happens to other people, not because I can them "feel for them" or any of that bullsh1t, but rather so I can learn from their mistakes and stupid decisions.

In any case, I don't see why you want to care about what other people think. At my job I only care about what 1 person thinks: the boss. Co-workers? Yeah, F them. I smile and make nice, but in my mind I do whatever I gotta do to get the job done and get the boss on my side. Yes, it sounds brutal, yes it sounds cut throat, but life is like that and unless you are content being AVERAGE, aka FORGOTTEN WHEN YOU DIE LIKE YOU WERE NEVER EVEN HERE, then you need to grab your balls and tell all the losers in the world to move the fvck outta your way.

Convos must be had, but only when they serve a purpose. Your actions must have purpose. Without purpose you are a waste of time and space, kind of like a rock. A rock has no purpose. It just sits there and rolls with whatever nature brings. You must be grounded and move whatever way YOU choose, not whatever way nature aka society tries to move you. Focus on purpose. Ask yourself, "why am I doing this?" If there's no GOOD answer, slap yourself and move on.

As for vlf445, I agree with you, I don't know wtf Sharingan is talking about. This forum is first and foremost a SELF-IMPROVEMENT forum. It is not a GET WOMEN ONLY forum. That is an ASPECT of your life where you may want to improve, but mostly, its about growing to be a more mature, developed, and successful person.
 

SharinganUser

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I didn't just tell him to "figure it out." I also gave him some advice, but you seem to have completely glazed over that part.


Moreover...this forum is here for help, don't tell this guy to go "figure it out".

Right it's the forum is here for help. It's not here to provide easy answers and to hold your hand. I never said he has to figure out everything on his own, but there are certain things that only he really knows about himself, so unless he really opens up to someone he trusts and can help him, only he can figure out how to deal with his problem.


Further to the point. How can you help him when hasn't even posted what caused his problem in the first place? We don't why he stopped caring about what people say. If really wanted help don't you think he would've posted the reasons why he came to his conclusion?


We're here because we after much effort...we couldn't just "figure it out".
I find it very hard to believe that you haven't figured out any of this on your own. Out of all the approaches you've made, people you've talked to about this, ect... that you haven't made any personal conclusions.

It is not a GET WOMEN ONLY forum. That is an ASPECT of your life where you may want to improve, but mostly, its about growing to be a more mature, developed, and successful person.
Never said it was a get women only forum. It is about self improvement, but that being said, there are quite a few people who have other area's of their life under control while they still have trouble finding women.

I could be wrong but I got the feeling that the guy came here for an easy answer. I am just telling him that there is none. Most people on here seem to understand that. Once again, when it comes to person issues there are no easy answers.
 

zekko

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I find it very hard to believe that you haven't figured out any of this on your own. Out of all the approaches you've made, people you've talked to about this, ect... that you haven't made any personal conclusions.
To be completely honest:
Before I found the seduction community, I had figured out quite a bit of this stuff just from life experience. But there were other things I had not figured out, things I had never considered - something like the concept of "negs" I probably never would have thought of on my own. There are other principles advocated here (and elsewhere) where I'm still not sure if I agree with them or not. In any case, it never hurts to get a fresh perspective.
 
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