"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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How did this (possibly) WORK?

The Comeback Kid

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About three weeks ago, I went out to a small party with a few new friends of mine after we played an intramural sport (it was a one-time thing). At this party, I met a cool HB8. We seemed to hit it off and I was surprised how easy the conversation was (a little kino too). Somehow, I forgot to get her number when I had to go. Again though, I wasn't too upset. If I saw her again, I'd be able to get her number. If not, no big deal.

Although we didn't exchange numbers, I saw we were Facebook friends even though we never met before the previous night. A couple days later, I started off a couple of back-and-forth wall posts, making sure to use some C&F. The next week, basically the same thing, a few wall posts each way, always short.

Yesterday, I decided to take action. Even though I had no phone number (yet), I wanted to see if I could meet up with HB8 in the near future, even if our friends weren't around to hang out with. She's not really on AIM much, so I sent a short Facebook personal message (has an inbox). I suggested we get something to eat during my class break during the week, it's worth catching up :yes:, and I ended it with, "Does (Day A) or (Day B) work better for you? ;) ." I was able to put a little C&F into the message as well.

Later in the day, I saw she hadn't written back yet. I figured maybe she wasn't into it, but either way it's nothing to lose sleep over. Later that evening, I noticed that she was finally on AIM. Preferring AIM instead of waiting for some message, I IMed her and we talked for about 10 mins. After breaking the ice, I again suggested we meet up for something to eat on a day and time where I know I'm free for a little while (I realized she hadn't been on Facebook yet). She seemed into the idea, actually asking me if we could have lunch together, and we exchanged numbers. We talked for a couple more minutes, then I said I had to go and that was that. A little later, I saw she wrote back to my original Facebook message with, "haha sorry for not getting back to you on this (earlier), I hadn't been on in a while today. it was nice chatting with you and see you soon!" :up: :up:

While I am looking forward to hopefully seeing her in a few days, I have to ask you guys...How did this (possibly) work? It has been almost THREE WEEKS since I last saw her and at least a week and a half since we last wrote on Facebook. Maybe she saw me working out at the gym lol. She comes off as a very cool, down-to-earth girl who I can definitely be compatible with.

Some final quick thoughts
: I would hope she doesn't flake...the last couple girls I had set up dates with (back in March?) texted out at the last possible second, including one girls standing me up. It's annoying more than anything else. Also, I haven't been on a first date in awhile...anything I should keep in mind - it'd be a quicker one and we're in the school student union? I'd like to maybe walk around at some point too if that's possible, I'm into being active.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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The Comeback Kid

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Anyone? I'm looking forward to seeing her in a few days obviously, but I'm just curious about how the whole thing went about. I know the key to getting a date in this sort of situation is to strike while the iron is hot. After almost three weeks, I figured trying to ask her out would come off as "coming out of left field" and she'd say she's busy or w/e.

Perhaps I made a really good impression when we met. Maybe I hit her up at the right time (some threads I read say that a girl will turn you down or flake because it's not a good time for her). Then again, this date is in a few days...anything can happen.
 

eman

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Well you know the usual dress "Nice" not formal uh get some gum to have a nice fresh breath when going for the kiss (if you do go for it). She's obviously interested if you hadn't seen her in 3 weeks. Don't forget to kino with her, and a little suggestion after the lunch take a little walk with her and get to have more one on one time? I'm new to this but just throwing some tips I would do.
 

The Comeback Kid

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eman said:
Well you know the usual dress "Nice" not formal uh get some gum to have a nice fresh breath when going for the kiss (if you do go for it). She's obviously interested if you hadn't seen her in 3 weeks. Don't forget to kino with her, and a little suggestion after the lunch take a little walk with her and get to have more one on one time? I'm new to this but just throwing some tips I would do.
Thanks for the refresher. For dress, I'll wear what I'd normally wear (jeans, nice t-shirt). We're meeting at the student union, so it's not fancy lol. Since my backpack will be with me, I have more than enough tic tacs for my breath (I've never been big on gum). A little walk around campus (or the general area) is a good idea, as long as it's nice outside. I compare this to a coffee date, but with a little more substance. Going for the kiss would be nice, but is this the type of date for it (i.e. you wouldn't normally go for the kiss during a coffee date)? She's probably at least a little bit interested, as she accepted my date request. However, I won't know for sure until I see her on Tuesday...too many things can happen before then.
 

eman

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Hey sorry about that I was like half there when I wrote my reply haha. So it's just a typical coffee get together? If so then going for the kiss is a bit much to ask but you never know if things go well like keeping the small talk up and adding a little flirting too then maybe you might be able to sneak a peck during that walk with her. Everything else seems good you know what to wear it the breath mints under control also don't forget tone confident,smile, and most of all keep eye contact. One last thing be a good listener so your conversations can flow a lot easier. Also don't forget to get her number :D so you can directly reach her for the future dates instead of facebook lol. Hope that clarified it a bit more and good luck. Let me know how it went.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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The Comeback Kid

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It's cool. We already exchanged numbers when I asked her out, so that part is taken care of. You're right in that it's like a coffee date; it's a quick lunch at the student union. I feel the principles are very similar.
 

eman

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Hah great to hear man hope it goes well with you and that girl :D.
 

Julian

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You sound too nice, maybe thats why you got flaked on...work on your sexual energy aka mojo and these b1tches wont be flaking.
 

The Comeback Kid

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Julian said:
You sound too nice, maybe thats why you got flaked on...work on your sexual energy aka mojo and these b1tches wont be flaking.
I agree that I need to work on my sexual energy initially? Any suggestions on how to do that in a public place like this lunch date?

I also agree that I'm more of a nice guy that a jerk. However, I'm not a pushover nor will I put up with BS.

One other question...if I schedule a date 5 days in advance, is it worth even contacting the date with some C&F text a couple days before or no?
 

Julian

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The Comeback Kid said:
I agree that I need to work on my sexual energy initially? Any suggestions on how to do that in a public place like this lunch date?

I also agree that I'm more of a nice guy that a jerk. However, I'm not a pushover nor will I put up with BS.

One other question...if I schedule a date 5 days in advance, is it worth even contacting the date with some C&F text a couple days before or no?

Being sexual is just in your body language, the way you talk, how you are. Its all the in the eyes too...convey your sexuality to a chick like you are a panther eyeing its prey. Not too creepy tho.

Also yeah I would def. keep up the contact with a girl prior to the initial hang out time. Not too much but just enough. Doesnt gotta be C N F, just some regular fluff talk maybe some flirtatious even better give the b1tch a call and actually talk to her. fuk texting.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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The Comeback Kid

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Julian said:
Being sexual is just in your body language, the way you talk, how you are. Its all the in the eyes too...convey your sexuality to a chick like you are a panther eyeing its prey. Not too creepy tho.

Also yeah I would def. keep up the contact with a girl prior to the initial hang out time. Not too much but just enough. Doesnt gotta be C N F, just some regular fluff talk maybe some flirtatious even better give the b1tch a call and actually talk to her. fuk texting.
haha I like the sound of that though. Definitely something I will be working on. I can definitely take control of a situation, but I don't want to go over-the-top in my energy. I tend to talk a bit, and I'm trying to cut down when I go off on tangents.

I did call her this evening. Went well, though nothing special happened - a lot of fluff talk. I wanted to keep it short, we talked for a couple minutes, the place and time of the date sounds good, and that was that.
 
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