how did i handle this

[averagejoe]

A little history here. I was introduced to M by a mutual friend a couple of weeks ago. We talked once on the phone, had lunch with the mutual friend and then i called a few days later for a date. I didn't get an answer but she called me back the next morning and we made a date. The date was great and the next day she sent me a text thanking her for a great time. A few days pass and I call to see if she is free for the weekend. She says that her ex-husband is going to have their son and she just wants some time alone. We speak for a couple more minutes and i tell her I have to go and will talk to her later.
Today the mutual friend calls and says that M had told her about the conversation last night. She said that she wanted to explain to me what was going on. So she says that M had just gotten out of a relationship about a month ago. She said that now the ex-boyfriend has told M that he regrets the decision to end things. She said that M "really likes me" and does not want the old relationship back, that her excuse for the weekend was legit.,and that I should call her to go out at another time. I told her that the excuse was bull*#&# and that if M wanted to see me she would let me know but I am not going to waste my time chasing anyone because there are other women I can go out with.
So how did I handle this and how can I improve?

 

[mystic03]

I agree with RogueWarrior, next time speak directly to M, don't use any friends.

 

[DoubleA]

Averagejoe,

I agree with Rouge and Mystic, I wouldn't have told the mutual friend that. Brush your shoulders off and keep hunting. There are bigger fish to fry out here. Just saying, "What ever." would have gotten the point across. You keep that attitude and she'll be calling eventually.

 

[averagejoe]

I appreciate everyone's responses.
Yesterday she emailed asking for another chance. She explained that what happended was her ex boyfriend was begging her back and recommended they try counseling to see if they could make it work. She said that she agreed to the counseling and it didn't work but that she now feels like she gave it her all and tried everything. She wrote that she can promise that is all over and she would really like to see me again if I was willing.
I don't mind giving someone second chance but I am unsure in this case. Anyone have any thoughts on this. Thanks in advance.

 

[DoubleA]

Average joe...

why are you unsure?

What's wrong with you? Isn't this what you wanted? Her? After all, she has exahusted her resources in getting back with this guy before taking a crack at old reliable...

Kind of makes you think, don't it?

Ok. Well here's the deal. Like most of us who call ourselves men we all have an inherent trait. Pride. Is it your pride getting in the way? Here's an answer. Step outside yourself and see your situation. What do you think? Do you see a guy hanging on a string for some woman who was "willing" to go to therapy for a man she wasn't even married too. WHAT?!!?!!?!!? Never in my life have I actually heard couples going to therapy who aren't married. Somebody has got to be serious because that's one heck of a bill starring at you.

I'd still check on her and communicate but you're having this feeling because deep down inside somethings not right. Otherwise you would have jumper at the chance to be with her and not second guessed it. I've learned while dealing with women out here..Discretion over Valor. Let me know how it turns out.

 

[averagejoe]

Thanks Rollo. Yes I like others have pride and I am not very keen on someone turning me down to try to work things out with her old boyfriend, and then when it doesn't work asking me to give them another chance. I looked in the mirror after she contacted me to see if I might have the word chump written on my forehead.I was surprised at the therapy thing myself.
I just told her I would have to think about it when I answered her.
Thanks again.

 

[DoubleA]

Chief..

anytime, man. Just do what's best for you.