How did I do?

[oldmanofthesea]

It's been ten years since I approached a girl and asked for her number. Since my divorce two years ago, I've focused exclusively on OLD with mixed results. I've been studying here and other places to learn how to meet women in person instead of OLD. I feel I've read a lot so am starting to put it to action. Today I gave it my first shot.

Was at a coffee shop and while waiting in line, noticed a really cute girl (an 8 or 9) at a table near the register make long eye contact and give me a huge smile. I smiled back. Noticed her looking at me again when I was on the other end of the counter waiting for my coffee. Once I got my coffee I want straight to her table and sat directly across from her (it was a communal table that seats 8 people). As I sat down she immediately looked me in the eye and gave me a huge smile and I smiled back.

I got out my laptop and started working. I was thinking of starting conversation immediately but she had headphones in and was writing so I had mixed feelings about that. 5 minutes later she gets a quick phone call and then takes her headphones out so I immediately seized the opportunity to chat her up then.

She was VERY receptive and we bantered for 5 or so minutes. Mostly me asking her about her. She asked me some questions and I kept the answers very brief and changed the subject back to her. I playfully teased her with a smirk about a couple things she said - like by predicting where she was from and what hobbies she had based on other things she told me (I was right on all my guesses). She thought it was funny and laughed. She was very engaged in the conversation and it flowed well. Solid eye contact with a smile the entire time and she seemed very happy to be talking to me.

At a convenient pause, and high point in the conversation, I said, "So Jenn, what's your phone number," with a smile.
She smiled and said "Great!..... Wow!" with an expression and body language that lead me to believe she was impressed I was so forward (but I could be wrong).
She had her phone in her hand, and she said, "well, I.... uh... ummm" and seemed off-guard for what felt like an eternity but was probably about 6 seconds. I stayed silent grinning. Then she said, "We should exchange e-mail addresses." LOL.

Before I read all the red pill stuff, I would have accepted that. So I said with a smile, "Oh, darn, you know, my e-mail broke today so I guess you'll just have to give me your number instead!" She, stuttered for a few more seconds then said something that didn't make much sense along the lines of "you wouldn't believe how crazy things are right now" or something along those lines and then said, "We should exchange e-mail addresses though." I said, "That's ok." She looked at me in what appeared to be either confusion or disbelief or both, and said, "oh, what?" And I said, "No thanks, but I appreciate the offer." She looked really surprised, turned red, and then looked a bit put-off. She said, "Oh. uh ok." I said, "Well it was nice to meet you Jenn. Best of luck." Her smile turned super fake and forced and she said, "Thank you, you too" in an exaggerated fake-friendly way. I then stood up and spent the most awkward 20 seconds of my life packing up my laptop, phone, coffee, mouse, notepad, pen, and bottled water, and walked out.

Anything you would have done differently?

 

[MrWood]

"you wouldn't believe how crazy things are right now"

you did great, I suspect she is in a relationship or just started dating somebody, or she has just recently been single but is pinning for her ex (or he, a bad boy, has just recently back out to her)... this is the standard red-flag

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Thanks for the encouragement guys. I think I'm getting ok at banter (since I have been on a ton of OLD dates in the past year and a half and have been studying the h3ll out of the red pill, doc love, Corey Wayne and others for the past three months solid) but really just need to grow some balls and get over fear of approach.

MidnightCity: Yeah I did tease her a bit but didn't qualify her like I would on an OLD. In an OLD date, I might ask her a question like, "Do you have any pets?" and if she says, "Yeah, I have two cats," I will take a step back from her, look at her critically but with a smirk, and say, "Oh, two CATS? Yeah, I don't think this is going to work," or something like that. When you are on an OLD date, you both know you are on an official DATE. But when you just randomly approach a stranger, I feel weird qualifying her because it seems preemptive.... like, we are just two strangers talking and if I say "this isn't going to work," then it assumes way too much. But maybe I should assume that, like I am supposed to assume interest on her part. Or maybe there are other ways to qualify that are less suggestive of being romantic? Do you have any examples of how you qualify women you have only just approached (especially in non-bar situations)?

I did tease her a little - she was writing with pen and paper while I was using a laptop. I asked her, "Oh wow, I didn't know people actually still wrote things with pen and paper." When she mentioned she was in the radio/film industry, I said, "Let me guess, you moved here from LA?" I was right. She mentioned about how writing with pen and paper was meditative and threw out some new-agey words so I said, "Ahh, I bet you spend a lot of time on a yoga mat don't you?" and she laughed and said yes. In your experience, is this teasing enough or do you think I really should be qualifying instead?

 

[The Duke]

You did great. Either she had a boyfriend she wasn't super happy with or she gave you a soft rejection. Next time, just sit back down and go about your business. Make her pack up and leave!

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Next time, just sit back down and go about your business. Make her pack up and leave!

I like that idea!

 

[SuckItUp]

Great work, you handled it with aplomb. There are a few other things you could have gone when she went the e-mail route, but in all likelihood it wouldn’t have mattered. She was involved with someone, but she found you attractive.