"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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how deep is too deep

dankane

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Went on a date with one of my plates tonight,

It started off pretty chill, I got her to ask me questions about myself, but she wasn't asking that many, so I asked about an equal amount to her. I told her that only 50% of me is music, i'm a musician and she was like whats the other 50%, I was telling her that I couldn't possibly explain it in one sitting, etc.

Then it just got deep, mind you this was a first date. I'm thinking this is where it went a little wrong, I want to figure out what went wrong, if anything, so I can learn from my mistakes.

But in my attempt to cold read her, I said she was misunderstood, and that was what brought her here, to this music school we are both at.

Now this is totally true about this girl, she is misunderstood.

We got in this little discussion about it, I know she is misunderstood but she took it in a negative way, I intended it to be more of a way for her to open up to me and talk about something personal, intimate and unique but she didn't understand me and got kind of upset.

So I went for a kiss at the end before I left and to no avail. She said no kiss and that was it, I told her she didn't know what she was missing and then walked away with a smile on my face.

It was rough basically, but you can't fail if you don't try haha.
I got other girls on the side

but I want to go that deep, because i'm a deep guy and it sets me apart from others, but i'm not sure if its smart in a first date, or at all really

I didnt intend for it to be negative, but I said you are a misunderstood girl and then she was like trying to understand so I was telling her what I meant. She got more and more confused, and basically it ended in her saying that it was too deep for her.

I want to improve my game, nonetheless, even if this girl and I don't work out I really could care less

Basically I still want to keep this girl around, and in like 2 weeks or what not i'll ask her out again, when I have some free time.

This is more about improving my game because is going deep a way to raise attraction and intimacy?

How deep is too deep?

I know I read that girls don't respond to anything unless its sexual
but like what about being deep? So deep that you can ultimately make a girl feel total trust and intimacy with you, by what she can talk about with you. Like personal, between me and her, she is misunderstood, I wanted her to be like, hmm he's right , I am, and this is why blah blah blah but I am genuinely interested in being that close with her.

That's kind of the game I invision myself having. I'll game party girls, but with like nice girls who have more interesting lives, I use being so deep to my advantage. It seemed to not work, cause I got rejected when I went to kiss her.

Obviously no one will know the answer to this specfic situation, but it's more the concept of how deep do you go with a chick?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Grand Wizzard Alamar

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dankane said:
So deep that you can ultimately make a girl feel total trust and intimacy with you
Sorry but.. I'd say this would only exist with

a) AFC girls
b) Being in the friendzone
c) Marriage

And you definitely can't be deep with a girl that you've just met because she knows nothing about you, and you're partially a stranger to her.

Stranger has the word strange in it.
 

Bvbidd

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You got to keep it light and fun.

That'll work better.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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dankane

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Come to think of it,

That's what I would rather do as well.

It was like we were getting to know each other through Q and A
but more stressful than anything else, like asking about this and that, why she was here, what brought her here, what brought me here, but I never busted any jokes or anything, so it went from sort of sexy

to just straight not needing to be happening whatsoever

but hey you live you learn
 

dankane

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yea, that sucks there goes a sexy girl

at least there are a billion other sexy girls,

plus after I next her she may come running back who knows, I for sure hope that she does, but I'm probably not going to put any more effort into her.

by the way I dig the one sentence responses, thanks

gaming girls rocks, its all about getting better
 

danielzxc

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but I want to go that deep, because i'm a deep guy and it sets me apart from others, but i'm not sure if its smart in a first date, or at all really
I used to think of myself as a "deep guy" and used to want to "go deep" with girls. I don't think it's a good idea. If it works, it can be pretty good. But if it does't work, it's almost impossible to recover from. That's the conclusion I've reached from my experiences.

So I went for a kiss at the end before I left and to no avail.
Most guys would have definitely have wimped out if they sensed that the "going deep" wasn't working and was creeping the girl out. You went for it anyway. That's excellent. Keep doing that man, and you'll have great success -- sometimes, even when you don't expect it.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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