"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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How could I have handled this better?

the_stig

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Last night my buddy invited me along to meet his girlfriend and her group of friends at a club downtown. We arrive and instantly a very attractive HB8 from the group comes up and starts talking to me. We chat for about 20 minutes, she's interested in me, my job, we have common interests, but I asked and found out she'd been dating a guy for about 2 months however her attitude was hot/cold about it.

Shortly after we change venues and i'm off enjoying the club scene when she approaches me, grabs my hand and guides me back to her friends saying she wants me to come visit her. This time I employ some c/f while flirting and she gets intimate, arms around me, nose to nose, about to start making out when her chick friend comes up and c0ck blocks me! I head back out into the club scene for about 20 minutes and my buddy later tells me she went looking for me. He then heard her friends say "she seems really into him and we can't let her cheat".

I notice her heading toward the restrooms and approach her. The intimacy continues then some. She's into board games so i'd been teasing her that scrabble is my game and she didn't stand a chance, she was eating up the challenge too. I say "Let me get your number and you'll see". She gives me a flirty "thinking about it" look, acting like she wants to kiss me. I go in for a kiss, slightly touch her lips, she pulls back, only to start rubbing her hands all over my junk, my chest, in my hair and then kinkily bites my cheek and walks into the restroom. This is where I goofed? Not wanting to stand there waiting like i'm desperate, I head back out into the club. Get back to our spot a few minutes later, as the place was closing, and she hardly looked at me. Maybe she was just a tease, maybe I should have waited at the restrooms, who knows. This is probably "old hat" to most of you but I don't do clubs often and would like some advice on what I could have done different. Should I find her on facebook or let it go?
 
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"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Masculinity

Master Don Juan
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Hmmm...honestly, it doesn't sound like you messed up; you handled it well, but I would have done a few things differently.

Getting her phone number:

Clubs aren't the "real world" for most people; they go there to let stress go and have a fun time. When you want to get a girl's number, just frown your eyebrows and say "let me see you phone," take her cellphone and just call yourself. I've gotten many numbers this way and they just smile. Keep in mind though that her phone number is almost nothing; it is an opportunity to show value; she could still reject you AFTER she gave you the number if you flunk her sh!t tests.

Getting the kiss:

Sounds like her IL was high, but then your kiss attempt was weak and she pulled away. Some girls wanna see how much you really want them. They are insecure creatures that run on emotion. Maybe she wanted you to go after her again and get the kiss and be manly; same goes with the phone #. Sometimes they just want you to be a little more aggressive to prove how much you want her or if you're really interested in her.

Try being playful next time. I, personally play a little "liar, liar" game.
You can also do math games. I tell her: "we're gonna play a game, (insert game here(find your own;be original!)) if you win, you get to kiss me, and if I win, I kiss you! I can proudly say it has worked worked for me every time I have done it. You have to have some acuity around it of course and look for the IOI's.
 

backbreaker

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honeslty I don't think you did anyting wrong. I think you just ran into a flake.



when you cut through all the tape this is what you got


1. a girl with a BF
2. Flirting with you hard
3. tries to kiss you
4. won't give you her damn phone number?



honestly, i think you just ran into a flakey ****. doesn't matter where you met her at, as we asay on another forum, flake go flake lol. if you met her at work, she would be the woman that throws hints at you, sends emails, but when you try to close backs off.


her actions simply don't add up. After that much flirting, getting the phone number is just a freaking given regardless of how I ask for it. Hell with that much flirting she would be throwing it at me. She should WANT to see me again, that's the normal action for someone who is that into me. The rest you are just being too overly critical of yourself.
 

rushing dude 123

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Yeah i agree u played it well from the information that you have given us, but sometimes stuff happens. Who knows maybe she started feeling guilty, maybe her friends told her not to talk to u anymore because shes got a bf, maybe she was angry u wasn't there when she came back (more than most times i think its better to go back to the club imo). Who knows? Just remember sometimes u can run a perfect set and smooth as ever, but if you come across the wrong girl nothing will happen.

You can look for her on facebook and try ur luck, but i wouldn't personally there is way too many nice girls in the world to be chasing one around.
 
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