Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
So it is not the case that the guy did not care. You wake him up, he said his condolences. What else do you expect him to do late in the night?Lishy said:My good friend died on Sunday, she fell in the bath and drowned and I am so very very upset.
On Sunday after I found out I rang my boyfriend and I was crying my eyes out and he said how sorry he was and listened to me .......
He called several times and you apparently did not pick up and now you're complaining to your friends at sosuave to rebuke your boyfriend's behavior.He rang couple of times yesterday but didnt come to see me
I started to read to some of the responses and I was shocked at some of the responses in here.Lishy said:My good friend died on Sunday, she fell in the bath and drowned and I am so very very upset.
On Sunday after I found out I rang my boyfriend and I was crying my eyes out and he said how sorry he was and listened to me for a bit, then he cut in and told me he was half asleep when I rang and that he was going to go back to sleep and would call me later. He didnt!
He rang couple of times yesterday but didnt come to see me and this morning he rang me and said he would come aorund tonight, I said fine and then he said ........ wait for it ........ "But you wont be on the phone all night crying about your friend will you?" ... I then told him if he was upset I would be supporting him and he said " Ok Bye" and put the phone down!
How could he say that? If he loved me wouldnt he want to be there for me?
I cannot forgive him for this! I am so hurt I cant put it into words!
__________________
I pray in the church of the 'Choccy Woccy Woo'
What about having some self-respect?Lishy said:I never excpected a thing from my bf, I have all of the emotional support I need from friends and family.
Latinoman said:I started to read to some of the responses and I was shocked at some of the responses in here.
A REAL Man is there for his woman. A REAL Man provides the strenght and becomes the shoulder for his woman in a moment of dispair.
This situation is not about him. This situation is about her.
.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Mostly agree with you, but not everyone on the forum gave Lishy the sosuave treatment. Only a few posters did, and the only reason it turned out to be such a big deal is because some of them made one ridiculous post after another. Good to bear that in mindiqqi said:This is why I call for MODERATION of such negativity towards women on this forum.
Sheesh. This thread is a wake up call on what sosuave is teaching boys in terms of dealing with women. Look how they dealt with Lishy. Sad. I bet its like this in real life with them! They will never get anywhere this way.
No not everyone did, you are correct there. Some people gave great advice.mikeyb said:Mostly agree with you, but not everyone on the forum gave Lishy the sosuave treatment. Only a few posters did, and the only reason it turned out to be such a big deal is because some of them made one ridiculous post after another. Good to bear that in mind.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
I understand the way you think...Mistic said:Why is death such a big deal? Wake up call guys, you are dying right now, day by day. I had to watch my mom die from MS slowly over 15 years. It was as ugly and drawn out of a death as possible. Last week a friend died in a car crash. I'll miss him, but big deal. It's just DEATH.
iqqi said:I call for MODERATION of such negativity towards women on this forum..
Sounds like a plan but she already said she would not let me.. She thinks i am too mean..:nervous: :nervous:MacAvoy said:Maybe you should start poking her back (with your man rod)
ArtVandelay said:He's cold because he doesn't care about someone he never knew or knew well? Men aren't emotional creatures. If you want support, talk to one of your girlfriends.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
lol. isn't it amazing how much response she got?DAM it Who-MAN, this isn't the right forum
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.