How could he be this cold?

[Lishy]

My good friend died on Sunday, she fell in the bath and drowned and I am so very very upset.

On Sunday after I found out I rang my boyfriend and I was crying my eyes out and he said how sorry he was and listened to me for a bit, then he cut in and told me he was half asleep when I rang and that he was going to go back to sleep and would call me later. He didnt!

He rang couple of times yesterday but didnt come to see me and this morning he rang me and said he would come aorund tonight, I said fine and then he said ........ wait for it ........ "But you wont be on the phone all night crying about your friend will you?" ... I then told him if he was upset I would be supporting him and he said " Ok Bye" and put the phone down!

How could he say that? If he loved me wouldnt he want to be there for me?

I cannot forgive him for this! I am so hurt I cant put it into words!
__________________
I pray in the church of the 'Choccy Woccy Woo'

 

[KontrollerX]

You should dump that piece of garbage Lishy.

Yeah guys should avoid becoming a hearing piece for most emotional stuff from their girlfriends but this kind of stuff you have to make an exception for or at least you should if you care about the girl you are with I think.

BTW, Lishy I'm so sorry to hear about your friend's death.

I've lost a few myself so I know how painful it can be.

 

[MacAvoy]

How could he say that? If he loved me wouldnt he want to be there for me?

I cannot forgive him for this! I am so hurt I cant put it into words!

He doesn't love you, dump him and find a more respectable man.

 

[iqqi]

How long have you been with him?

When you say she was a close friend, what do you mean?

No matter your answers, yes, that is fvcked up of him or anyone to respond to a situation like that.

But give me some more info.

 

[Gubby]

condolences.

 

[DonGorgon]

My good friend died on Sunday, she fell in the bath and drowned and I am so very very upset.

On Sunday after I found out I rang my boyfriend and I was crying my eyes out and he said how sorry he was and listened to me for a bit, then he cut in and told me he was half asleep when I rang and that he was going to go back to sleep and would call me later. He didnt!

He rang couple of times yesterday but didnt come to see me and this morning he rang me and said he would come aorund tonight, I said fine and then he said ........ wait for it ........ "But you wont be on the phone all night crying about your friend will you?" ... I then told him if he was upset I would be supporting him and he said " Ok Bye" and put the phone down!

How could he say that? If he loved me wouldnt he want to be there for me?

I cannot forgive him for this! I am so hurt I cant put it into words!
__________________
I pray in the church of the 'Choccy Woccy Woo'

My deepest condolences on your loss..

If he is there fro you "too much" you will subconsciously see this as weakness and loose respect for him... So he is playing the game right by showing sympathy but not to the extent that he comes to close to your female level of emotional sensitivity... Sounds like your man ins a Don Juan...

 

[Lishy]

Yeah you are right, he cant love me! He would never make me even more upset ontop of how devastated I am already if he loved me!

wow

 

[penkitten]

lishy, he doesn't know how to deal with death obviously.
he wants to avoid the subject entirely.

 

[DonGorgon]

Yeah you are right, he cant love me! He would never make me even more upset ontop of how devastated I am already if he loved me!

wow

WHo said he does not love you??? He is a man .. you want tears go see your girlfriends for that.. A man has to be strong to make you strong.

If you really believe this to be a sign of him not loving you, that explains exactly why so many women are choosing to be with gay men who show feminine levels of emotion.....

 

[Magma]

My sincere condolences on your loss.

Your bf is a douche. For any of us that have lost close friends, I find his behavior totally unacceptable and especially egregious. That's one cold SOB right there.

 

[Magma]

WHo said he does not love you??? He is a man .. you want tears go see your girlfriends for that.. A man has to be strong to make you strong.

If you really believe this to be a sign of him not loving you, that explains exactly why so many women are choosing to be with gay men who show feminine levels of emotion.....

Are you for real? Nobody is saying the dude should start crying, but how about a little compassion for your GF that just lost a good friend. Christ, it doesn't matter if he was her BF or just a friend, he should at least TRY to be understanding of her pain of loss. WTF is wrong with you?

 

[DonGorgon]

Are you for real? Nobody is saying the dude should start crying, but how about a little compassion for your GF that just lost a good friend. Christ, it doesn't matter if he was her BF or just a friend, he should at least be understanding of her pain of loss. WTF is wrong with you?

I have a flat affect and am quite cold and purely logical also..... Sorry..:nervous: WHy? cause I have been through soo much SH!T in life... Maybe that is how her BF is too..

 

[TheBaconator]

I have a flat affect and am quite cold and purely logical also..... Sorry..:nervous: WHy? cause I have been through soo much SH!T in life... Maybe that is how her BF is too..

Dude there's a difference between being strong and being cold. If her BF was a real man he would be there for her while in her state of mourning, not act like the world revolves around him.

I'm very sorry for your loss Lishy, and i'd say tell your BF how you feel and get rid of him. He seems to lack compasion and you don't need a man like that in your life.

 

[BeyondCharm]

I'm Calling Troll On This One!

How could he say that? If he loved me wouldnt he want to be there for me?

 

[slaog]

Maybe the boyfriend doesn't know how to deal with it?? He's definetly a little insensitive though.

 

[The Bat]

lishy, he doesn't know how to deal with death obviously.
he wants to avoid the subject entirely.

...and there it is.

 

[sosilky]

I get the feeling he's never dealt with loss before, at lleast someone his age. I'm not making excuses for him/. The last girl I dated wasn't there for me when My niece was realy sick. The only loss she knows is her grandparents, its differnt when its a friend or a young relative suffering. She doesn't get it. Regardless we had a falling out and I haven't talked to her since. Someday she will learn, so will he. He also i'm afraid may not care for you as much as you thought, I think maybe this ws the case with me too.

 

[EricInTheHouse]

Lishy... Are you a LoveShacker?... I know I've seen that name there.

Your friend slipped in the shower and drowned?... How old was she?... So sorry to hear that and what else can we say.... It's a sucky part of life and the way she died is truly unfortunate.
((huggs))

Anyways I believe your BF is a good guy, but really, he just doesn't have an overly emotional thought about this, and yeah he could of been more supportive. I'd have to know more about him before I gave any advice.

Again sorry for your friend drowning......that really sucks..((huggs))

 

[ArtVandelay]

He's cold because he doesn't care about someone he never knew or knew well? Men aren't emotional creatures. If you want support, talk to one of your girlfriends.

 

[DJVladdy]

Yea that's fvcked up, I'm sorry hun.

I mean we men say something, that we dont think its rude or hurtful, but it can be. Socially we are not as developed as women.