How come I know what to do, but can't always do it?

[tsmith2334]

After reading and observing others, I find myself with a good understanding of women and people in general. I read the advice given on this forum and it's typically what I'd advise or what I would have done in that situtation. I even helped my friend get back with his ex, just basically explaing things to him that I read on this site.

However, when it's a girl I have a feelings for I just can't seem to do everything according to plan. I may know what to do, but I usually get too anxious and just don't execute it properly. In other words... I should be doing better then I am! Any suggestions??

 

[SickAgain]

Cut small talk to a minimum. Think clearly before speaking. Transport yourself to a time when you felt great, confident, and invincible. These tips should help. If not, you're not ready for any kind of DJing.

 

[Mr Autobahn]

However, when it's a girl I have a feelings for I just can't seem to do everything according to plan. I may know what to do, but I usually get too anxious and just don't execute it properly. In other words... I should be doing better then I am! Any suggestions??

Dude: it sounds like you are reading but NOT doing. You need to get out and practice what you learned here. Go to the mall and talk to the pretty salesladies. They are paid to talk to you. I am not talking about hitting on them but making them laugh or feel something with you...

Got it?

 

[thatguyjamalx]

Yeah practice until it becomes second nature. Then practice somemore.
Open sets until it it becomes automatic.
Dont worry about the outcome, like you said, it'll just make you anxious
Just go in and give it your best every time, and LEARN from your mistakes.

 

[everywomanshero]

You learn through experience, I agree. Even if you execute badly, you'll have one more reminder of what *not to do* and peice by peice start building the proper mental set.

OK WILD ASS HYPOTHESIS TIME:

The other thing that might be occuring is something like Maslows Heirarchy of needs. You're self-actualizing tendency is fixated on a lower level need. For example, when I have ween a week without cuddling with a chick, I stopped focusing on sex so much and reverted back to wanting to cuddle when just the week before I was trying to skip it to make more time for sex with other women. I think things like this can go on.

So if you're in your head all day worrying about female contact, go get a massage, cuddle with an UG or fem friend, get tested for cancer, or whatever to keep yourself on track and in the right frame of mind for practice. This shouldn't be a stumbling block, but something to resolve and move on.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...However, when it's a girl I have a feelings for I just can't seem to do everything according to plan. I may know what to do, but I usually get too anxious and just don't execute it properly. In other words... I should be doing better then I am! Any suggestions??

Knowing what to do and being confident enough to step out of your comfort zone are two different thing. You seem to have the first part covered. You're causing your anxiety by worrying on the outcome of the second part. Until you are comfortable just focus on your execution.

 

[tsmith2334]

Dude: it sounds like you are reading but NOT doing. You need to get out and practice what you learned here. Go to the mall and talk to the pretty salesladies. They are paid to talk to you. I am not talking about hitting on them but making them laugh or feel something with you...

Got it?

I'm beyond that by now. I talk to attractive women on a daily basis pretty much. Eye contact is great, I'm well spoken and come across as desirable. Then, I'll go for an interaction I view as "important" and fail (in my eyes atleast).