How can you NOT take rejection personal?

[AlmostThere!]

If a girl rejects you, then it's something about you she didn't like. So, it's personal.

How can one not be hurt? Any tips on how to feel better?

 

[Scars]

It's only personal if you take it personal.

Are we taking about a random pick-up? If so, she is only judging you by outward appearance and a 2 minute conversation. She still knows nothing about you or what you're worth. You've just got to shrug it off and KNOW she is the one missing out. Not you.

If you're talking about an acquaintance or a girl you've known for awhile then there's a number of reasons she could have said no. You probably exposed your betaness somewhere along the road. Just another reason to learn and improve yourself. There could also be another guy in the mix. It doesn't mean he's better than you. He just has the upper hand when it comes to her interest level FOR THE MOMENT, but that can easily be turned around. Not all girls are going to drop everything with a guy just to be with you, well at least not right away. Haha. Just keep your frame and don't be jealous. Make her feel amazing every time she's with you. Ignore the fact she sees other guys. You go out and see other girls. Show her why she should be with you, don't tell her.

All in all, every rejection makes you stronger. It's just more motivation to improve yourself. Whether it be your looks, hobby, career, game, whatever. There's no reason to take it personally. Just always keep the plates moving, so if one moth burns out you already have a plenty supply ready.

 

[Jitterbug]

So it hurts a little. Get over it.

To be a man is to take risks. Taking risks will cause pains to some extent. Do it often enough and your pain threshold will increase, and little things won't bother you anymore.

 

[Scion]

After each rejection it gets easier. I've been rejected more times than I care to think about and now while it's disappointing to get rejected each individual rejection doesn't really hurt anymore. However, to know that I've never met a girl interested in me does hurt.

 

[Jokerlsk]

Well i pretty much just got rejected. It's just one person's view of you. That's how i look at it. If you believe that you're worth something, then other people will too. It doesn't feel good, but make the best of it. I'm not going to let it ruin my weekend. It's a learning experience.

 

[xdreamz]

just have hope and confidence in yourself. don't even think of it as rejection think of her as crazy whatever just don't wallow in self-defeat or self-pity. i would rather think about things i could have done better.

Scars is pretty right. time is on your side...give it a little time and give it another try, just create an opportunity and seize the moment.

 

[Bible_Belt]

If a girl rejects you, then it's something about you she didn't like.

Yes...at that moment. Women are moody and fickle. They change their mind a lot, especially over guys, so their opinion at any given point does not mean a whole lot. This is true even when they like you.

 

[ElGuapo]

Taking rejection personally demonstrates a lack of core confidence. Yes, it is a bit of a blow to the ego, but we shouldn't be greatly hurt or offended.

I can relate to you. I used to be the same way and I still am to a large extent. But I'm working at getting better.

What you always have to remember is that you should never let others dictate what you think of yourself. No matter what, people will have criticisms of you and not everyone will like you.

All you can do, is what's best by you, your friends and your family. F**k what anyone else thinks.

 

[f283000]

Look at it this way, it's not you it's your game!

that same woman that rejected you sucked some guy's ___ at a party a few mins after meeting him. Women are dirty, slutty creatures who will do anything with any man if he pushes all the right buttons.

Instead of getting angry at her for rejecting you be thankful to her for giving you practice in pushing those buttons so that you are now closer to getting your button pushing right

 

[Masked_angel]

Does Bill Gates cry over losing a business deal?

Either way, here is my thoughts about rejection.

 

[old married dude]

Once I adopted an "I don't give a f*ck" attitude with women, rejection was not a big deal.

 

[playerone]

You have to realise that your objective is not to get every single woman to be attracted to you. You want to find an interesting woman who fits in your life.

Sure, it could be due to you being boring, uninteresting, too available, etc.

Fix it, improve, and move ahead.

It's a journey of self-improvement. At the end of the day, you must know that you do not need a woman to live well and have fun. If she's not interested, she ain't the interesting girl you're looking for. The focus is on fun and self-improvement, not the outcome.

 

[nilescrane]

I went from avoiding women altogether because I thought I was too ugly to attract anything above a 4 to being more outgoing and genuinely not caring what women think of me. Here's how I did it:

I was always decent looking, but I made slight adjustments (shorter hair, better clothes...not for women, but so I'd feel better about me.) Also, dating a girl that was easily an 8-9 and looks like Renee from 24 helped prove to me "I can attract a hot woman with my looks."

After that I just stopped giving a ****. I have a global view "I'm not really hot, but I'm not ugly either. I'm in the middle and if I want it, I have to work for it, but I at least have a chance." If a girl rejects me, I just accept that she wasn't interested in me or not interested in getting hit on at the moment.

Luckily, I haven't had any of those horrible rejections that people talk about, where the girl says "Go away creep" or "I'd never go out with someone like you." I can imagine where that'd sting. But honestly, what's so bad about hearing "No, sorry" or "I have a boyfriend"?

 

[Scion]

Luckily, I haven't had any of those horrible rejections that people talk about, where the girl says "Go away creep" or "I'd never go out with someone like you." I can imagine where that'd sting. But honestly, what's so bad about hearing "No, sorry" or "I have a boyfriend"?

Well, I haven't been rejected as rudely as those examples but for me the worst kind of rejection (and the one I'm constantly getting) is where they ignore me and pretend I don't exist. I'm not sure why that one gets to me, it just does.

But probably unlike any guy on this site I have a different problem. It's not that 1 girl rejects me (because who cares about 1 girl) it's that every girl rejects me. It sucks to be 25 and still a virgin, to have only kissed one girl. It's the fact that no women are interested in me that hurts more.

So if you just have a couple women here and there rejecting you then just be glad your not me. Lol, that probably sounds a lot worse than I meant it too, but the point is don't let 1 girl rejecting you get ya down.

 

[xdreamz]

those aren't even that bad of "rejection" lines, i wish a girl would tell me something like that, just gives me reason to really enforce my frame on a girl. imagine a girl calls the security to have you removed...now that is rejection! getting ignored just means you're approaching her the wrong way.

 

[nilescrane]

Getting ignored is nothing. It just means that you approached some woman out of the blue in a bad setting, or you snuck up on her, or she is creeped out by the idea of a stranger talking to her, or you just aren't your type.

A few years ago, possibly due to bad body language and an under-developed face for my age, I had girls in college classes or hostesses at restaurants laughing at me for no reason at all for no reason other than the way I looked. I wasn't even talking to these women, and most of the time they weren't anything above a 7. I can't tell you how many times I'd have two girls from far away whispering in one's another ear and looking at me with a concerned look on their face. Talk about a self-esteem blow.

My body language has improved but it isn't that much better, but I barely, if ever notice a woman doing that to me anymore. They don't check me out often, but I'm not the laughing stock/creepy guy anymore either.

My point is, most people haven't had it that bad and I found a way through it. And being ignored to me just means like I said above...that the woman isn't interested in getting approached at that moment, or she is but you approached her wrong or she's shallow and you aren't her exact type.

 

[ALPHAROMEO]

Rejection

how can u get rejected if you don t telegraph any sexual interest ?
just get a convo going
and trade your digits at the end of the convo as people do when they ve enjoyed talking to each other
A R
PARIS

 

[Da Realist]

Do you burn jigsaw puzzles just because each peice doesn't fit with all the others? No, you pick up another piece that works.

 

[corrector]

how can u get rejected if you don t telegraph any sexual interest ?
just get a convo going
and trade your digits at the end of the convo as people do when they ve enjoyed talking to each other
A R
PARIS

There is a presumption of sexual interest even if it is not telegraphed unless you say your are gay. This goes with the line "if I were not gay I would be so into you" used by Mystery Method and also used by Espi on here with success.

 

[corrector]

Getting ignored is nothing. It just means that you approached some woman out of the blue in a bad setting, or you snuck up on her, or she is creeped out by the idea of a stranger talking to her, or you just aren't your type.

But it's all just the same if you can't get a foot in the door, right?