"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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How can you do a good "first kiss"?

BannedGod

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Once to moment is right to kiss her, how can you make it really good? Any technique/things to do/things not to do? I plan on kissing this girl tonight, but it's putting a lot of stress on me, I've only kissed one other girl in my whole life... And I was drunk when we first kissed, so it's not much of a help.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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kyphan

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Two things work in your favor here.

1) She will kiss you the way she wants to be kissed. Follow her lead.

2) You can screw this one up a little and she will not give a damn. Heck, I had a girl apologize after our first kiss because she thought SHE did a poor job! It just meant we had to practice more.

Relax, alright?
 
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If you're inexperienced, here's some things I've learned that chicks like over the years.

One, kiss softly and slowly the first time. No tongue. Just run your lips over hers. Suck on them very lightly as things progress. Let the tip of your tongue hit her lips (not the inside of her mouth). Explore her lips with your lips. Let this go on a while. Move your mouth to her cheek, her neck, her ear. But be gentle the whole time. Be subtle. Embrace what you are and let it empower you: an inexperienced guy getting to know her lips and body.

Second, when you're ready, let things get silent. Make sure you're alone. Look at her a little longer than usual. Then, and I personally believe this is important, you should touch her face. Put your hand on the side of her face, neck, cheek, ear area. Then lean in and get it done. Wait 2 seconds at most before the lean.

Three, do not under any circumstances ask for permission to kiss. Just do it. If you're wrong, you're wrong. Just say, if it gets totally awkward and she rejects you, maybe we should just call it a night.
 

BannedGod

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Strip Club Inspector said:
If you're inexperienced, here's some things I've learned that chicks like over the years.

One, kiss softly and slowly the first time. No tongue. Just run your lips over hers. Suck on them very lightly as things progress. Let the tip of your tongue hit her lips (not the inside of her mouth). Explore her lips with your lips. Let this go on a while. Move your mouth to her cheek, her neck, her ear. But be gentle the whole time. Be subtle. Embrace what you are and let it empower you: an inexperienced guy getting to know her lips and body.

Second, when you're ready, let things get silent. Make sure you're alone. Look at her a little longer than usual. Then, and I personally believe this is important, you should touch her face. Put your hand on the side of her face, neck, cheek, ear area. Then lean in and get it done. Wait 2 seconds at most before the lean.

Three, do not under any circumstances ask for permission to kiss. Just do it. If you're wrong, you're wrong. Just say, if it gets totally awkward and she rejects you, maybe we should just call it a night.
Thanks a lot man. I think the thing that stresses me the most is to initiate the french kiss after number 1 is done... I don't really know how :(
 
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Don't worry. At first you won't be that good. Big deal. There's no rules, and most guys, even older guys, kiss like crap according to women. They're too aggressive, too focused on deep tongue, etc. Just let her give you the green light or not on that. Put a little tongue in and see what happens. But stay focused on her mouth and face, ears, neck, back of neck, hair, etc. with your hands and she'll get turned on. Just read the situation. If she's into it, it will be obvious. And even if you start tongue kissing, scale it back to the more soft and sensual lip, neck, etc. kissing. Be good at this and she'll be happy and hopefully want to make you happy.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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BannedGod

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Strip Club Inspector said:
Don't worry. At first you won't be that good. Big deal. There's no rules, and most guys, even older guys, kiss like crap according to women. They're too aggressive, too focused on deep tongue, etc. Just let her give you the green light or not on that. Put a little tongue in and see what happens. But stay focused on her mouth and face, ears, neck, back of neck, hair, etc. with your hands and she'll get turned on. Just read the situation. If she's into it, it will be obvious. And even if you start tongue kissing, scale it back to the more soft and sensual lip, neck, etc. kissing. Be good at this and she'll be happy and hopefully want to make you happy.
Alright, thanks a lot man, I'll keep that in mind. I have to not stress so much about it
 

SubSoniq

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what you're gonna have to do first and foremost is not worry about it. if you go to kiss her and you're nervous or whatever, you're moves might not be as smooth as they should be. Try to relax and *enjoy* it, don't think of it as something you HAVE to do. I've been called a good kisser by numerous girls, and i kissed this girl last night for the first time, it was pretty good. To give you an idea, heres basically what happened. Like someone said, never ASK PERMISSION for a kiss, but instead, look in her eyes, and mentally tell her you're gonna kiss her (i dunno if that makes sense, but when i look in their eyes like that, they love it) i kissed her once, pretty softly, and only for a short duration. Then i pulled back just about an inch or two, looked back in her eyes for a second or two, then i kissed her again, but longer, and kissing the different parts of her lips, but the key is to be smooth. Don't be all eratic and pecking like a chicken. Be soft, slow and gentle. she'll love it. Nothing intense, nothing to turn her on(although it probably did anyway), no tounge - its the first kiss - show her kissing you is very enjoyable, but only give her a sample of what can come. Of course, if you're trying to sex her w/your first kiss, then you want to move on from her lips, to her cheek, to her neck and ears. Someone mentioned to follow her lead - which is good advice for an inexperienced kisser, but i would only do that the first couple of times, and try to get a feel for how she likes to kiss / be kissed. I find that you get a better response if you lead, and are not over-agressive (unless she wants to fvck real bad - they be really aggressive:up: )Hope this helps! goodluck!
 
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Here's a mantra that you should repeat to yourself. Your anxiety comes from your inexperience, but it also comes from performance anxiety. This is the same anxiety that leads many people to hate public speaking. You need to rid yourself of the thought this is a performance and she's judging you.

Repeat to yourself: I AM NOT HER TO PERFORM. I AM NOT HERE TO ENTERTAIN. I AM HERE TO HAVE FUN, GET TO KNOW THIS CHICK, AND SEE IF SHE IS A GOOD KISSER FOR ME AND MY PLEASURE.
 

BannedGod

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Strip Club Inspector said:
Repeat to yourself: I AM NOT HER TO PERFORM. I AM NOT HERE TO ENTERTAIN. I AM HERE TO HAVE FUN, GET TO KNOW THIS CHICK, AND SEE IF SHE IS A GOOD KISSER FOR ME AND MY PLEASURE.
Wow man this is perfect! exactly the kind of stuff that motivates me and I was hoping for! thank you so much, I'll keep this in mind :up:
 

BannedGod

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Well if you guys want any updates: I was with her yesterday, I kissed her and we are dating now :) FOr a little while I had so many occasions but I was stressing as hell and didn't jump on it, and at some point something just hit me and I forgot about everything and just leaned in and kissed her. I wa sprobably overthinking it, and once I stopped thinking about it, it came naturally
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Obsidian

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imo, putting pressure on yourself to initiate a kiss at any specific time seems a little foolish. Especially if it's a first date, I think it works ok to plan *not* to kiss her but instead just kino some. If you wait for a good opportunity instead of planning it out in advance, the kiss will probably turn out better anyway.

I'd just suggest that prior to kissing, you have some pretty good kino. Fastseduction.com has some specific tips about how to initiate also.
 

Obsidian

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hmm, maybe i should try reading the posts immediately before my own
 
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