How can I tell if she wants me as a friend or a BF ?

[Black-Panther]

:crazy: Hello,
I have a real hard question..
I have a female friend that we are somthing like maybe 8 monthes known each other etc..
anyway .. we did everything together .. movies, dinner, went out every day and still are and all the other things that's all the GF & BF does.. (exept the intimacy .. - sex etc..) ..
we kissed and made out couple of times but everytime it happend we were drunk (happend couple of times) ..
I really love this girl .. and from a best friend situation (I was with her when she had a BF for 4 years and supported her at alot, because at first I wasnt intrested at her..)
anyway .. she gives out ALOT of signals.. if its "may you masage me..? or .. all these teasing that i dont have power to explain and all that stuff..
all our friends thinks were together.. even people at the street, salers and all these kinds of people thinks that .. (her best friend wasn't sure..) it really looks like that, and somtimes when people asks us we answer that yeah we are together (because we dont have power to explain every time again and again..)

anyway at her 18's birthday (was before 2.5 weeks) - as she allways talked to me about the birthday and how its important to her bla bla bla..
at the 18's birthday we went only me & her out to get drunk (she told me she want's to celbrate by getting really drunk..)
when she got drunk she started to make moves on me.. and after sevrel of times I explained her that its not good that we do these kinds of things because she wont like it after a while.. (because she was drunk) she explained me that she do want it and "why do you think we go out every day bla bal bla.." ?
anyway I told her that time that her best friend (girl) told me that she only sees me as a friend & she says nah its not true bla bla bla.. (thats what disturbes me the most..) ..
as we continue I asked why on a normal sitaution she wouldnt do that, and she answers cuz when I have alcohol its easy to do and talk .. (and you get gutz when you'r drunk to do things you wouldnt do when your not..)

after all this night.. (she was really DRUNK .. maybe the drunkest i've ever seen .. anyway she had a good time..) one day later she doesnt remmber anything at all ...? - and I know when she's lieing .. she really dont remmber.. (too much alcohol I guess..)

NOW - what should I say, how should I say and how can I know what she's thinking about me ? (without asking her directly ..) since I heard from her best friend she sees me only as a friend .. I really got low security with her..
and the thing is that with other girls its works like magic.. but its the first girl I really love .. so I care about her.. until now it was just **** and throw .. =\

I will really be happy to get an answer because i am really frusturated about thi situation .. (by the way shes avoiding when I tell her i need to tlak to her.. "its never the right times \ its too late for these talks .. bla bla bla..")

I NEED HELP :]
Thank's.

 

[Jay Jay]

Sigh...

Black-Panther... she wants you.

Stop worrying so much. You obviously really love her as a person and thats a great thing.

Ask yourself, will it be hurtful to her if you were to make beautiful passionate love to her? Is your friendship strong enough to survive a night where you both do nothing but make each other fell wonderful?

There is nothing wrong with taking your relationship to the physical level. She wants it. You want it.

She's getting drunk because it is a low-risk way to move your relationship into the physical level.

Dude, just be a man. Direct the relationship. All those feelings you have to grab her and cover her in kisses; let them free.

JJ

 

[Black-Panther]

can you explain why do you say she wants me ..? I need a "honest" answer.. like when you explain why you say that .. (althought I hear it too much already ..)
anyway .. today she called right after I wrote this messege and asked if I wanna go watch a movie at her place.. I said i will pass cuz i already had plans with my best friend.. =\ not always i need to do what she "asks" .. and seriously my head hurts I just wanna go have some fun and drink abit..
anyhow .. if you give me an expanded answer I will be glad .. the thing is "be a man.." with her its so hard.. I care about this relations too much .. with other girls long time ago I would have done alot of things.. but with her its just "hard" I never had a real serious relationship with a girl coz i never loved one before.. I just liked to have fun and bye bye .. =\ (one month max ..)
and with her its just like I am afraid to do a mistkae by talking to her bout that..

I go out now to think a bit at some pub anyway i'm looking forward for your answer :]

cheerz.

 

[Jay Jay]

Okay.

This thing about being "a man." Go to the bottom of the page. Click on "the DJ Bible". Click on the "Book of Pook". Read.

How do I know she likes you?

I will put it in point form.

1. You two have fooled around and remained friends. Its not that it only happened once. It has happened a few times.

2. She is playing games with you.

3. Everyone thinks you are an item. This clearly shows there is powerful sexual tension between you two.

4. You fooled around when drunk and she still gets drunk with you. This means she wants a repeat perfomance.

5. She spent her eighteenth b'day with just you. C'mon dude!

6. She says "yeah" when people ask if you are together. When you say you can't be bothered explaining what you really mean is you feel ashamed to say. "Yeah, we are totally a couple but we haven't gotten around to the good stuff like kissing and cuddling!"

7. She gets you to give her massages. She craves your touch.

8. Okay, here is the big one. She told you. On her b'day when she was drunk she came onto you. She told you she wanted to be together. She told you her friend was lying.

9. She told you. "Why do you think she we hang out together every day?" Straight from the horses mouth.

10. DUDE! SHE ****ING TOLD YOU!!!

What do you want? Does she need to knock you over the head and tie you to the bed and take advantage of you for you to get the message?

Sorry if I sound harsh here but I think you need some tough love. Unless you grow a set of balls and go after what you want you might very well lose her.

And that would be a big ****ing shame coz I'd say she feels about you just like you feel about her.

JJ

 

[Black-Panther]

yeah.. well thats kind of sums it up .. hehe .. (btw bah dont have money to get out and drink today.. =\ i am soldier .. out of cash .. so today i will complete sleepy hours ..)

anyway .. amm yeah you kinda showed it to me really well .. but the only thing that bothers me .. is that .. WHY DA **** HER BEST FRIEND TOLD ME THAT .. =\ and WHY DA **** SHE AVOIDS THE "CONVERSION" ..

btw .. I really liked when you said "too asham to say we didnt get to the bla bla bla..." coz its kinda true .. but the thing is .. lets say if she's on the cell and sombody asks with who are ya right now she says with my friend.. so its frusturating although I fully understand her..

I'm telling ya.. this girl is just... argggg.... so ... shes just the perfect girl for me .. and I've never said that about any girl I know \ been with .. its the first time I feel that way and so confused just because of THAT .

I hope your right.. the thing is .. how should I open the ****ing converstion with her? .. shes "avoiding" it and changes subject (always too late bla bla bla..) and about the drunk thing her friend said "you know her.. she gets drunk and its not too hard to get somewhere with her.."

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Just wanted to say I agree 100% with everything Jay Jay said. No need in repeating anything.

 

[Jay Jay]

Sorry. Double post...

 

[Jay Jay]

The power of your love for this girl is ****ing up your frame. Thats okay. It normal.

But its making your thinking **** up. You are overanalysing things. You are paying too much attention to negative signs and ignoring all the positive ones.

Just relax. She likes you.

Her friend is either jealous that you are going to take away her friend, jealous that her friend is going to get you or being decieved by your babe because she doesn't want her friend to know about her feelings until she has you ...

(girls are funny like that. A girl I was gaming was leaving the bar. I got up to follow. A mutual friends goes, "where are you going?" I smile. "You know she will never have sex with you. She told me." The girl in question dragged me home and ****ed my brains out. She just told our mutaul friend that **** coz I had been doing push pull kind stuff she didn't know if I was after her or not. She didn't want to admit to wanting to **** me until she had success...)

... so ignore the friend.

Just internalise the thought

SHE REALLY WANTS YOU BADLY.

JJ

 

[ryannath]

Black-Panther, man, if you don't fvck this girl, and I mean SOON, she will find another guy that is not too pvssy to **** her, and she will start avoiding you and not wanting to hang out. I know from first hand experience where a girl wanted to fvck me and I didn't fvck her, then a few days later she was with some other guy that just had the balls to go for it and fvck her. I was too worried about her thinking that I thought she was a slvt to fvck her, so I took it slow by not fvcking her, and end the end, I was the one that got fvcked. (not literally) So, don't be a pvssy, and fvck this girl hard man! She wants you to anyway. It's not gonna hurt your friendship, it's gonna make it closer anyway. She will feel "close" to you.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Oh GOD -- women have become as men and the men have become as women!!!! Doomsday is at our door!!!

 

[KJB]

Dude...... do it to it. It doesnt matter what her friend says, as much as what she actually does. Hit hard, hit it fast.

 

[Ace of Flames]

Wow... I'm sure I'm not alone when I say I'd have had this chick many times over by now. And I mean "bent" over. ^_^

 

[Black-Panther]

guys I totaly agree with you ... and belive me I'm not like this with girls .. its just with her .. and anyway I know your right .. I will try to do my best with her .. its just hard =\ dunno why and I've never had this situation with a girl (that I "cant" do it..) anyway today I will probally meet her like everyday I'm not in the army .. =\ well see what happens.. I will keep updating .. and bout the friend... yeah well maybe shes just jealus =\ dunno ..
do you guys have any good way to open the coversion ? cuz i really want her as my girl and not as a **** .. belive me that ****s isnt my problem in life :] (thanks god ) I want her to be my GF and not just a one night \ all night **** .. ;-)

anyway .. anybody here have a nice way of going into the convesrion ? will be bit funny to come to a person and say .. "well .. yeah you were drunk .. and we made up .. and we agreed we together.. by the way you said you love me ... and were kinda together now ... but .. welll you dont remmber anything huh ...? yeah trust me .. it was.." - kinda funny to hear I guess..

any good ways of talking bout it ?


the thing is that its so hard for me is that 3 monthes ago I did do that conversion with her.. (bad timing) after I broke up with her (one month didnt talk.. - coz i wanted her to understand that i dont want her in this kind of realtions..) when I came to her and talked.. she kinda was dating that time .. and it was a real "shot to my heart.." until i got the gutz and everything i got ****ed.. but she says somthing like "well .. I cant say it in one word cuz it will sound really bad.. amm .. its not that I dont want .. its just that it isnt right now ... bla bla bla.."

so anyway if you guys have a good way to open this talk with her i will be glad to hear it ... REAL GLAD ..

Thanks for everything biatches
and I remind you again .. the "target" isnt to **** her.. the target is to be with her.. I dont need help with getting laid.. that I do preety good .. i need help with HER and getting HER .

 

[sav]

to get her, you must be willing to lose her....

if you arent, then she is already lost before you even begin...

 

[Black-Panther]

yeah well I am an ass. .. =\ today she called me twice and asked why I'm doing today .. so I told her nothing special i will call her later (kidna busy) anyway she called and said if I wanna go watch the sunset with her.. =\ and I agreed.. and did nothing ... godamnn .. yeah anyway i decdied i am stopping being an idiot from now on . its not funny and belive me if I was reading this posts I would laugh so hard on the guy that wrote it (i am serious ..) coz I dont know that i'm an idiot ..

so for the grandfinally - I told her tommrow after school I'll pick her up and we sit down and talk bout some important things.. anway she told me .. are we homless? hehe we sit at my house and talk .. and dont worry nobody is there anyway ....

YUP I'm an idiot but serious tommrow its over.. for good or for worse..
by the way the thing that most "inspired" me was "to get her, you must be willing to lose her....

if you arent, then she is already lost before you even begin..."

its really got it to my head.

I will update tommrow :\

I'm so frustrated.. coz girls I was with .. or my ex's or just female friends are laughing at me ... (and some are mad at me..) coz I am so stupid with this girl.. and with all the others (including them) I hadnt any problem at all .. so the ex's are mad at me cuz I didnt love them bla bla bla.. **** them hihi

 

[ryannath]

You are getting ahead of yourself man. First things first, you need to fvck this girl and get her attached to you before she will be your gf. Most chicks won't be someone's gf without at least fvcking first. Get her attached by the sex, then she'll probably wanna be your gf.

 

[Black-Panther]

ONE QUESTION - I told her TODAY WE TALK.

I pick her right after school today .. and I told her we will talk when we get to her house (nobody is there..) I told her .. "I need to talk to you about some important things.. that were postponed because of me .. (unfortunally) .. so as I was saying now we need to talk .. (today I told her already that.)

How Do I open the converstion ? - with
"in your 18's birthday ... you were drunk ... bla bla bla.. " ? or
... "listen .. I have to tell you somthing ...." or
"I feel kind of a fool to say it but its hard to me to talk to you about that ... I love ya bla bla bla.."

So .. anybody here have a good way to start the "talk" bout us ?

 

[Last Man Standing]

The last thing you want to talk about is "your" relationship!!!!! Bad idea!!!! Very bad!!! You ARE MAKING TOO BIG OF A DEAL about this chick - calm down!!!!!!!

It should flow more naturally - quit forcing shyt!!!! Don't talk, act -- men act - women talk!!!!!

What DJ Sav was saying in "be ready to lose her if you want her" is that you don't want to put her on a pedestal as somebody toooo special because you are going to suffocate her with affection, which is the wrong way to go!!

Calm down and make a romantic move and quit deliberating and calculating every word and move!!! Quit looking and sounding sooooo desperate!!!

Go for the kiss and see for yourself if she wants you as a b/f!!!!

 

[Black-Panther]

i am a ****head =\

 

[jamescr73]

anybody else think this is a troll thread?