Blackhole105
Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 13, 2007
- Messages
- 51
- Reaction score
- 0
I seem to go through distinct phases on this whole "path to becoming a Don Juan" and whatnot. And I'm not just talking about women; there are many aspects of my life that I'm trying to get handled. Stuff like progressing in my career and developing my passion projects. Also, I'm trying to become more sociable in general--more like a regular person. I want to get over my social anxiety once and for all. I earnestly want to "be a man" and all that good stuff. I want to develop my life to be the way I see it in my head, and I want to get rid of all this lousy and semi-debilitating emotional baggage caused by a confusing and repressed childhood and adolescence.
But that's where the dilemma comes in. In spite of having an earnest desire to improve, I'll go through periods of dedicated self-improvement followed by periods of self-destruction and stagnation. I'll go through periods lasting about a month or two where I'm highly motivated--I meditate daily, I masturbate with much less frequency, I work through self-help workbooks and whatnot, I do all that good stuff. I maintain my appearance with good hygiene, exercise and healthy foods. I use drugs and alcohol with very strict moderation (usually just in social settings). But then somewhere along the line I lose motivation and fall into old habits, and even old self-destructive addictions in some cases. I loose motivation and become depressed, my physical appearance deteriorates and I withdraw from people and society, (yet I manage to continue working and have always been able to support myself).
I don't know if I have some kind of mood disorder or what, but I find it very difficult to maintain that positive momentum--those positive habits. And once I fall "off the wagon", so to speak, I find it very difficult to find the motivation to pick myself up and try again.
Anyone else experience this, or has had success getting past it?
But that's where the dilemma comes in. In spite of having an earnest desire to improve, I'll go through periods of dedicated self-improvement followed by periods of self-destruction and stagnation. I'll go through periods lasting about a month or two where I'm highly motivated--I meditate daily, I masturbate with much less frequency, I work through self-help workbooks and whatnot, I do all that good stuff. I maintain my appearance with good hygiene, exercise and healthy foods. I use drugs and alcohol with very strict moderation (usually just in social settings). But then somewhere along the line I lose motivation and fall into old habits, and even old self-destructive addictions in some cases. I loose motivation and become depressed, my physical appearance deteriorates and I withdraw from people and society, (yet I manage to continue working and have always been able to support myself).
I don't know if I have some kind of mood disorder or what, but I find it very difficult to maintain that positive momentum--those positive habits. And once I fall "off the wagon", so to speak, I find it very difficult to find the motivation to pick myself up and try again.
Anyone else experience this, or has had success getting past it?
