"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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How can I improve my conversation with her?

Brighty

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I know this girl and I want to move on to something a little more intimate, but I'm having problems talking to her. Just thinking about saying 'oh how was your day' and '<she talks about a subject> oh, do you like your 'something about the subject'", I dunno, it all just seems a little too routine, bland, and generic. Do you guys feel the same way? What are some good conversation openers to get discussion going, but not a conversation you'd have with your friends.

Thanks guys
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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hereoftheday90

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hey, your my age! (well not yet, but in a few short months) i'm not an expert but what you mentioned is what i normally say to get the ball rolling then i just feed off of what she says. i found that has helped me a lot because it takes the pressure off as you are talking about what she wants. but i repeat if she wants to talk about guys she likes or anything like that, it's best avoided or try to change the topic.
 

SaucyBoy

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Feed her emotions. Say stupid things. Just get her to talk. That's what women your age do anyway. She'll just react in obtuse ways to what you've said and then go and tell all her girlfriends about it. If you can feed her gossip network with some really juicy stuff, you'll be in there my friend.
 

penkitten

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i think there are other things besides gossip that can be things to talk about.
do you watch the news?
get into politics at all?
what are you studing, and is it interesting?
are you into music? if so, what bands?
are you into sports?


talk to her about something real and see if she flakes.
 
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