How can I help my buddie?

[DonJohn]

This is my friend's prob... he is an average looking, well educated guy that always finds himself on the "friend zone". I have quoted him some parts of the DJ bible, another friend and I have tried to coach him about stop being soooooooooooo nice etc... he does acknowledge that he is not doing a good job but don't do anything about it...
I work in sales and if you think about it ...the DJ game and sales go hand in hand...many things that I have learned in seminars about how to close deals and attract clients are reflected on this website, the difference is that instead of clients we are looking for girls... anyway... one of the sales techniques that work even for the weaker sales guy is referrals...you have to be a horrible salesman if you don't close a warm lead... I applied this technique with my friend and I "referred" him to my girlfriend's sister... a real hot and smart girl in her high 20's, my friend is 31...
They have been calling each other on and off, etc... and after a few weeks...they went out to eat, shop, expend the whole day together... etc...then it comes the good part...they watched a movie at her house, she was by herself and they watched the movie in opposite sites of the bedroom...he did not approached her at all...
I know what you might be thinking... he is gay or something, well, I know this dude for over 10 years and I've met the few g/f that he had...I can guarantee you he is not gay. He does have a desire to be successful with girls but he always tells us that he doesn't have the balls to "close the deal" , he makes them laugh etc... but the problem is that he is so nice with them than later he stays in the friend zone... the sad thing is that when the girls that he knows are off the market, he gets really pissed off and depressed, I'll say Jealous...he even hates if we try to pick the girls that he couldn't close but that's another topic...
Why do I care so much? cause this is a good friend, we have a small group of friends and each and one of us, including the girls have tried to help him... I'm afraid to say that he is helpless...however this is my last try, I know that out off 100's of DJ's one of you guys might have the answer that will tell us..."ohhh we never thought about this before".... so well, ANY ideas are welcome, blow up dolls, paid hookers, etc...

 

[DonJuanMonk]

Tell him to go to sosuave.com.

 

[DonJohn]

Bro, I already did... he might even find this post but I don't care!
Thanks for the advice anyway

 

[RaWBLooD]

can u narrow it down to one sentence asking a question

 

[JonJack]

This is a tough one considering your pal is 31. It gets tougher and tougher to change the older you get. But it isn't impossible. It just requires a lot of discomfort and willpower from your friend.

I would assume that this friend of yours is probably extremely reluctant to make a move on the girl. Whether it's fear of being rejected, fear of being lousy or whatever, the only person that can allay those fears is the girl. Therefore, the girl that he's dating would probably have to make all the moves and assure him that he's good at it all and that she likes it. Once he's experienced that on his own instead of just listening to people talk about it, I strongly believe that he'll start to loosen up and become a little more adventurous.

It's hard to get a girl that'll actually take control of the relationship in that manner, but I truly believe that it is the only way. Be careful if the girl dumps him though, cause it'll be an extremely long fall considering the girl is the one showing all the interest.

 

[DonJohn]

Extracted from the forum rules

Originally posted by RaWBLooD
can u narrow it down to one sentence asking a question

Read the rules of the Forum...THEN we'll talk...


From this point on, threads lacking details, mainly those with only 1-2 sentences in the body, will be deleted as soon as a moderator comes across them - as will threads that are just wildly stupid or unreadable. The reason for this isn't that we're spiteful, or that we hate people making new threads... but as you would agree, if something matters to someone enough to take up a part of the forum by posting it, they should show that it matters to them by giving whatever it is they are proclaiming some thought before creating the threads. There is no room on here for threads like the following..."

 

[DonJohn]

Originally posted by JonJack
It's hard to get a girl that'll actually take control of the relationship in that manner, but I truly believe that it is the only way. Be careful if the girl dumps him though, cause it'll be an extremely long fall considering the girl is the one showing all the interest.

hey, it's a good idea...you never know unless you ask

 

[flexion_]

You can't make someone change. They have to want to change. Giving people advise when they aren't asking leads now where.

ie. you are wasting your time.