How can I become a guy who just has sex with girls and removes all feelings?!

[oldspice891]

Sup guys,

I'm going to be sincere as possible in my approach to how I say this and I would really like and appreciate some honest respectful responses.I need your help because I wanna change into a fukking pimp. I KNOW I can do it. I just need a little help. I'll try to keep this short because I know ppl don't like tldr.

I've reached a point where I feel like i've snapped. I'm tired of all the BS with chicks and I just need some tips for improvement. I just want to have sex with them, and if I'm not getting it, drop them and focus on improving myself. I'm done with all this pus$y AFC nice guy $hit. DONE.

-Used to be fat ugly, in college lost the weight, actually a decently attractive dude (been called cute/hot now)
-Unfortunately, 22 virgin (lots of hook-ups, but just for some reason $hit happened and never lead to sex). Late bloomer/late start to the game.


And I know I sound bitter, but I would rather be so angry and use that to motivate me to change than act like a depressed phagg0t

Met this "married" girl (separated/has a kid/22). Known her for 4 months now.
-hooked up in the first two weeks (again, no sex, just fingered, lots of making out)
-Said lets be friends (she's feeling guilt). Been friends for 3 months now.
-blowing up my phone everyday(sometimes 3-4 times a day),
-and feeding me all this BS about (I've set the bar for guys, i have a place in her heart, she's herself around me, our first time having sex would be magical BLAH BLAH)
-she fukked some dude in vegas this past weekend(even tho she says she doesn't do hook ups). Probably has fukked a lot more
-cheating on her husband and justifies it with some lame excuse.
-we got into a big argument and I told her to stop calling me
-I'm naive because we had a lot of chemistry and we were cool as hell, and I thought based off that, it would lead to something. This was the first girl I've met where we really genuinely liked eachother and had a real deep emotional connection. No BS. Just being honest.


She's basically just a trashy ***** that's cheating on her husband but still wants to make it work and have more kids. And I developed feelings like an esmasculated pus$y and feel like the biggest chump because she fed me all this crap for me to develop feelings and she's off fukking other dudes in the snap of a finger. I realized my mistake. I fukked up and I own up to it. I played it ALLL WRONG.



1) How do I become like those guys where I can just have sex with girls and not become attached and develop feelings and all this crap. What are some guidelines/rules I need to know? I'm so fukking sick of acting like a *****. I'm fukking DONE with it dudes

2) Should I tell her she's basically a trashy ***** and to fukk off because she keeps texting/calling when I said don't call me anymore?

If you read this and replied. Thank you so much. A lot of these girls are selfish and willl use you without a care in the world. It's so fukking retarded and I'm just SICK of all this crap.

EDIT: if anyone reads this, quick question. Why would she tell me things like she always said she's the type of girl that only gets intimate with people she's romantically interested in. And we had a lot of intimate type talks about feelings, and how she really likes me, and i'm this great guy in all these ways, etc, given we had also hooked up a bit in the past. So it seems like she was setting it up so that I would be that guy that she has the romantic interest in and we have sex or do some stuff, but then she goes off and fukks another guy? wtf was the purpose of her telling me all that $hit then anyway? that just makes me feel confused and used? i guess that's what pissed me off.

 

[Johnny_Kage]

Used to be fat ugly, in college lost the weight, actually a decently attractive dude (been called cute/hot now)

Congrats! That's an awesome accomplishment in itself!

Unfortunately, 22 virgin (lots of hook-ups, but just for some reason $hit happened and never lead to sex). Late bloomer/late start to the game.

No worries. Tons of late bloomers out there.

Met this "married" girl (separated/has a kid/22). Known her for 4 months now.
-hooked up in the first two weeks (again, no sex, just fingered, lots of making out)
-Said lets be friends (she's feeling guilt). Been friends for 3 months now.

Hmmm....have you been making moves over the past 3 months? Since you're just looking to get laid, you should be going in with the "Blow me or Blow me out" mentality. Just keep making moves. If she's not giving you what you want, go out and find someone that will.

blowing up my phone everyday(sometimes 3-4 times a day),
-and feeding me all this BS about (I've set the bar for guys, i have a place in her heart, she's herself around me, our first time having sex would be magical BLAH BLAH)

Sounds weird since she's married and all. I would put this one on the backburner and look for others.

she fukked some dude in vegas this past weekend(even tho she says she doesn't do hook ups). Probably has fukked a lot more

She probably has.

cheating on her husband and justifies it with some lame excuse.

Definitely sounds like the type of girl you're looking for right now. Like I said, all you could do now is really put her on the backburner and find others. There are PLENTY of girls out there just like her.

we got into a big argument and I told her to stop calling me

No reason to do that. Just don't respond to her sometimes. Be more unavailable and let her chase you a bit.

I'm naive because we had a lot of chemistry and we were cool as hell, and I thought based off that, it would lead to something. This was the first girl I've met where we really genuinely liked eachother and had a real deep emotional connection.

So what do you want...to get laid or to have a girlfriend? This girl definitely doesn't sound like the gf type, so I'd get this stuff out your head right now if I were you.

She's basically just a trashy ***** that's cheating on her husband but still wants to make it work and have more kids.

Yeah she's a sl*t, which is why you shouldn't have feelings for her.

And I developed feelings like an esmasculated pus$y and feel like the biggest chump because she fed me all this crap for me to develop feelings and she's off fukking other dudes in the snap of a finger. I realized my mistake. I fukked up and I own up to it. I played it ALLL WRONG.

Sounds like you did. I think most guys have an experience like this at least once. No worries. Just move on. Plenty of other girls out there. Next time, make sure you don't develop feelings for a girl before she develops feelings for you.

How do I become like those guys where I can just have sex with girls and not become attached and develop feelings and all this crap. What are some guidelines/rules I need to know? I'm so fukking sick of acting like a *****. I'm fukking DONE with it dudes

It takes experience and effort. Go out 3-4 nights a week and keep meeting new girls. If you do this for a month, you'll see MAJOR changes in the way you think.

2) Should I tell her she's basically a trashy ***** and to fukk off because she keeps texting/calling when I said don't call me anymore?

No. Don't show any emotions. Just stop talking to her. Either she'll stop calling you or she'll start pursuing you.

If you read this and replied. Thank you so much. A lot of these girls are selfish and willl use you without a care in the world. It's so fukking retarded and I'm just SICK of all this crap.

You are where a million guys have been before (myself included). No worries. Go out and fix it!

 

[Jariel]

You sound like me some years ago. I was fat and ugly and a very late bloomer too. In fact, I never really had much success with women until my late 20s...after finding this site and making an effort to improve.

These days I do have a lot of no-strings sex with women, but I don't do it with any anger or bitterness. Quite the opposite. I do it because I enjoy the company of women, enjoy being close to them and I enjoy sex. I do hurt some women and some women hurt me, but it's never intentional.

The thing with this resentment you feel is that it's a knee-jerk reaction to being hurt. If someone was to slap you in the face you would retaliate with violence. If you're like me and you hit your head on a cupboard you'll even punch the cupboard. That's just a natural reaction.

Basically you have to try and put things in perspective and learn to appreciate the whole experience of being with a woman. When you enjoy their company, it reflects in your attitude and your charisma and makes seduction so much easier...and more fun.

The big key to becoming one of those guys who doesn't get attached is learning to appreciate each experience for what it is. Instead of thinking where will this lead, what can I do to make her interested or getting upset that it didn't work out in the long term, try to think "That was a good night. I'll remember that" and try to collect memories and form a mental photo album. Also, with each date, you gain more experience and more confidence.

I confess, I even write a little journal of some of the dates or flings I've had. I don't speak to many of those women any more, but I remember the time I spent with them very fondly.

Hope this helps.

 

[Jariel]

Oh yes, and you MUST spin plates. In other words, you must try and get several prospects going at the same time. If one girl flakes out, make a date with another.

A big reason people get too attached to one person is because they have no other options, so if you lose this one woman, you've lost it all.

Play the field, get numbers and don't give any one girl too much significance.

 

[oldspice891]

@Johnny_Kage

Wow, thanks for that response. I really appeciate it. Thanks for responding to each post directly and I will definitely take your advice.

You sound like me some years ago. I was fat and ugly and a very late bloomer too. In fact, I never really had much success with women until my late 20s...after finding this site and making an effort to improve.

These days I do have a lot of no-strings sex with women, but I don't do it with any anger or bitterness. Quite the opposite. I do it because I enjoy the company of women, enjoy being close to them and I enjoy sex. I do hurt some women and some women hurt me, but it's never intentional.

The thing with this resentment you feel is that it's a knee-jerk reaction to being hurt. If someone was to slap you in the face you would retaliate with violence. If you're like me and you hit your head on a cupboard you'll even punch the cupboard. That's just a natural reaction.

Basically you have to try and put things in perspective and learn to appreciate the whole experience of being with a woman. When you enjoy their company, it reflects in your attitude and your charisma and makes seduction so much easier...and more fun.

The big key to becoming one of those guys who doesn't get attached is learning to appreciate each experience for what it is. Instead of thinking where will this lead, what can I do to make her interested or getting upset that it didn't work out in the long term, try to think "That was a good night. I'll remember that" and try to collect memories and form a mental photo album. Also, with each date, you gain more experience and more confidence.

I confess, I even write a little journal of some of the dates or flings I've had. I don't speak to many of those women any more, but I remember the time I spent with them very fondly.

Hope this helps.

Haha I do that stuff too. Punch things you run into. You know you made a good insight into it. Instead of getting mad at what happened and the outcome, I can look at the positives of it. See the mistakes I made, appreciate the fun, let it go and move on basically. That's a good insight. Thanks!

And yeah you're right about spinning more plates. I met other girls since her and went out with other girls, but because we had this chemistry and connection between us, I focused on her too much. Big mistake to focus on one girl.

 

[snowdog]

First of all chill out. You're being pissed. Being pissed makes it hard to focus.

How do I become like those guys where I can just have sex with girls and not become attached and develop feelings and all this crap.

Second of all it doesn't always work that way and feelings are something you can't control. It depends on what kind of guy you are and what kind of girl you meet. I used to have your same attitude. At one point I met a girl that was hot and turned out to be awesome and we had a great, fun and very sexual relationship. We recently had to end it, because of geographical reasons. I'm sure we had plenty of time left and it just ****ing sucked. We were great together, sometimes you get lucky like that.

I'm sure I could have sex with chicks just for the hell of it (and I'm planning to), but it really depends on the girl, too. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of girls out there I couldn't give a **** about that I just want to ****. But closing off that option to actually care about the other human being you stick your **** in is just limiting yourself.

Now, getting upset about rejections and girls not wanting you, that's a whole different story. **** that ****.

p.s. check my super tips

 

[oldspice891]

First of all chill out. You're being pissed. Being pissed makes it hard to focus.



Second of all it doesn't always work that way and feelings are something you can't control. It depends on what kind of guy you are and what kind of girl you meet. I used to have your same attitude. At one point I met a girl that was hot and turned out to be awesome and we had a great, fun and very sexual relationship. We recently had to end it, because of geographical reasons. I'm sure we had plenty of time left and it just ****ing sucked. We were great together, sometimes you get lucky like that.

I'm sure I could have sex with chicks just for the hell of it (and I'm planning to), but it really depends on the girl, too. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of girls out there I couldn't give a **** about that I just want to ****. But closing off that option to actually care about the other human being you stick your **** in is just limiting yourself.

Now, getting upset about rejections and girls not wanting you, that's a whole different story. **** that ****.

p.s. check my super tips

Yeah you're right I got pissed. I'll probably be over it too. I hear what you're saying. I don't think I ever want to rule out actually having a meaningful relationship with a girl, but for now, I just need notches on my belt so I can get to a place where I'm more experienced and mature. I'll check your super tips thanks!

 

[snowdog]

Go for it man, and have fun!

 

[Poonani Maker]

Basically, the way to detach, is to, realize that all women have numerous flaws. They mess up, when in my presence. At That point in time, when they mess up, in my mind, I begin to detach. I'll say to myself, "Now you know you'd never marry this one, but let's just fvck her in order to discover her further flaws." Almost All women have flaws (at least the ones I've fvcked do) to where I'd say, "I could never be with her long-term." It is at That point, in my mind, that I'll easily be able to fvck em and leave em.

Now, when a gal never back-talks me, or Never snaps at me, Never insults me, always answers her phone, tells me the real sh!t that's going on in her life (being totally honest with me almost like a man would), never gives me any reason to not like her, AND (the most important part) she's Everything I want in bed (gives me everything, her as$, everything), then I'll be more apt to think about her almost the whole week I am at work away from her. All the others, I'll easily forget, especially if I've already fvcked them. It's easy.

 

[PRMoon]

Oh yes, and you MUST spin plates. In other words, you must try and get several prospects going at the same time. If one girl flakes out, make a date with another.

A big reason people get too attached to one person is because they have no other options, so if you lose this one woman, you've lost it all.

Play the field, get numbers and don't give any one girl too much significance.

This is really the defining feature in my opinion. The more intrested parties you have in orbit the better off you are. Between what ever else you have going on in your life and 3 or 4 girls your casually talking to, it's near impossible for you to catch serious feelings for just one. With your time all spread out like that silly things like "quality time" just don't exist. In turn girls will have to make the most of the limited time they have with you and you'll typically be on the go more or less all of the time. This is what is referred to as "playing the field."

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Oh man married and divorced with a child at 22 years old. What a great catch! lol.

I feel you though, it's very hard for me to take the emotions out of things too. But try to focus on this.. If you get married or start a relationship. This is the BS you will be dealing with 24/7/365. If you stay single you can just hook up, bang, then go do what you want and just ignore them until the next time you feel like hooking up.

Then that way you don't have to listen to her BS. Some other AFC/nice guy will be more than happy to take that fall! lol

 

[Jariel]

Just to expand on what PRMoon and I said about playing the field. I was supposed to have a 2nd date Sunday night with a hot blonde girl. I won't lie, I really like her and enjoy her company, and when she text me Saturday night to cancel I was quite gutted.

But instead of getting angry with her, sitting at home moping or watching my phone, I decided to contact another prospect - an exotic fitness model I'd spoken to on Facebook a few times. We got texting that night, things escalated and we decided to meet up the next day.

I met with her and it was amazing. We had a great time, she was all over me, and we ended up going back to her place and having wild sex. We're gonna meet again soon.

Later that night, blondie called to apologise for cancelling and to arrange another date in the week.

A lot of guys seem to think being a jerk who gets women or being a player is all about acting obnoxious, mistreating women and being angry, but the real secret is to simply play the field without guilt. Some people would say I'm a jerk, but I'm not in a relationship so I'm just enjoying myself.

 

[oldspice891]

Basically, the way to detach, is to, realize that all women have numerous flaws. They mess up, when in my presence. At That point in time, when they mess up, in my mind, I begin to detach. I'll say to myself, "Now you know you'd never marry this one, but let's just fvck her in order to discover her further flaws." Almost All women have flaws (at least the ones I've fvcked do) to where I'd say, "I could never be with her long-term." It is at That point, in my mind, that I'll easily be able to fvck em and leave em.

Now, when a gal never back-talks me, or Never snaps at me, Never insults me, always answers her phone, tells me the real sh!t that's going on in her life (being totally honest with me almost like a man would), never gives me any reason to not like her, AND (the most important part) she's Everything I want in bed (gives me everything, her as$, everything), then I'll be more apt to think about her almost the whole week I am at work away from her. All the others, I'll easily forget, especially if I've already fvcked them. It's easy.

That's a good viewpoint. Kind of opposite of how I approached it, and since what i'm doing is wrong, then I'm going to look more into adapting that viewpoint (their flaws and stuff).

On the 2nd part of your post, I think that's why I got attached because I got a little action, enough to keep my naive thinking that more would happen down the road, and I got all that stuff you listed with her, except the sex(the most important part), so it was trapped in the friendzone. Honestly, I never really liked her like that until we had some honest intimate phone conversations about feelings, and she always told me she was one of those girls that gets intimate only with the guy she is romantically interested in (which turned out to be a complete lie). So I figured all these talks about her feelings and how great she thinks I am was her setting it up to move to that direction. I guess I was wrong and always was trapped in friendzone, and she was just saying all that stuff to use me as an emotional tampon so I would stick around? I donno.

This is really the defining feature in my opinion. The more intrested parties you have in orbit the better off you are. Between what ever else you have going on in your life and 3 or 4 girls your casually talking to, it's near impossible for you to catch serious feelings for just one. With your time all spread out like that silly things like "quality time" just don't exist. In turn girls will have to make the most of the limited time they have with you and you'll typically be on the go more or less all of the time. This is what is referred to as "playing the field."

Yeah I stopped going out and meeting other girls, so I ended up focusing on this one and catching feelings. that's where I goofed. shoulda played the field more and not tripped about it.

Oh man married and divorced with a child at 22 years old. What a great catch! lol.

I feel you though, it's very hard for me to take the emotions out of things too. But try to focus on this.. If you get married or start a relationship. This is the BS you will be dealing with 24/7/365. If you stay single you can just hook up, bang, then go do what you want and just ignore them until the next time you feel like hooking up.

Then that way you don't have to listen to her BS. Some other AFC/nice guy will be more than happy to take that fall! lol

lol I know the red flags were all there, but I stupidly overlooked them because i was naive and thought that because I got a little action and we actually had great chemistry, something would happen. oops.

yeah i'm gonna try to stay single and bang as many as I can right now.

Just to expand on what PRMoon and I said about playing the field. I was supposed to have a 2nd date Sunday night with a hot blonde girl. I won't lie, I really like her and enjoy her company, and when she text me Saturday night to cancel I was quite gutted.

But instead of getting angry with her, sitting at home moping or watching my phone, I decided to contact another prospect - an exotic fitness model I'd spoken to on Facebook a few times. We got texting that night, things escalated and we decided to meet up the next day.

I met with her and it was amazing. We had a great time, she was all over me, and we ended up going back to her place and having wild sex. We're gonna meet again soon.

Later that night, blondie called to apologise for cancelling and to arrange another date in the week.

A lot of guys seem to think being a jerk who gets women or being a player is all about acting obnoxious, mistreating women and being angry, but the real secret is to simply play the field without guilt. Some people would say I'm a jerk, but I'm not in a relationship so I'm just enjoying myself.

Nice w/ that model! Hmm, playing the field without guilt. Can you expand on what without guilt means? Does that mean sort of being selfish in the sense that you go after/take want you want, and if it's not fulfilling your needs, you move on? Meaning, if you want sex from a girl, and she won't take it there, you have no guilt in the outcome or how she feels about it, and move on because in retrospect you want to always be looking after yourself?

BTW, thanks a million for all the replies guys. this is helping a lot!

EDIT: if anyone reads this, quick question. Why would she tell me things like she always said she's the type of girl that only gets intimate with people she's romantically interested in. And we had a lot of intimate type talks about feelings, and how she really likes me, and i'm this great guy in all these ways, etc, given we had also hooked up a bit in the past. So it seems like she was setting it up so that I would be that guy that she has the romantic interest in and we have sex or do some stuff, but then she goes off and fukks another guy? wtf was the purpose of her telling me all that $hit then anyway? that just makes me feel confused and used? i guess that's what pissed me off.

 

[The_411]

To answer your question ...


It's simple women are creatures who lie, manipulate for their own agendas. It doesn't necessarily mean all women, however all women of low quality will basically show you one thing and do other another.

They keep you hooked and then mind f you and then you get trapped.

Release your anger, start with the premise that you should always take what a woman says with a grain of salt until they prove it to you with action.

So in this case when she spews nonsense like she only gets intimate with peopel she's romantically interested in ... assume that means she doesn't unless she proves otherwise.

In this case as soon as you learned she was cheating you needed to divest yourself of any emotional involvement and depending on how you roll either eject or close and then eject.

There was no stability no loyality and woman like that are low class and deserve to be treated as such.

 

[Jariel]

Nice w/ that model! Hmm, playing the field without guilt. Can you expand on what without guilt means? Does that mean sort of being selfish in the sense that you go after/take want you want, and if it's not fulfilling your needs, you move on? Meaning, if you want sex from a girl, and she won't take it there, you have no guilt in the outcome or how she feels about it, and move on because in retrospect you want to always be looking after yourself?

I mean it in 2 ways really. A lot of guys will go on a date or two, hit it off with a girl and then feel a sense of loyalty to her and feel guilty about continuing to date other women. Some women might even lead a guy to think he's the only one, and that might be true, but until you are in an established relationship, you should still continue playing the field because you never know when this will fall through.

The 2nd way is the guilt some guys feel about using a girl just for sex and then moving on. Yes, she might get hurt that you don't want to pursue anything more, but that's how it goes sometimes. But she'll get over it. If you allow the guilt of disappointing someone to stop you from pursuing sex, then you will be the one to lose out.

There have been a number of girls I've slept with and I've been the one to get attached and hurt, but I'd much rather take the chance, enjoy the experience than do nothing.

Don't get me wrong, I do have an ethical code. If I think a girl is falling for me, then I won't use her for sex. Nor will I tell her I want a relationship or that she means something to me when that's not true. If I ever tell a girl I really like her/enjoy her company etc, I genuinely mean it....which brings me to your question...

Why would she tell me things like she always said she's the type of girl that only gets intimate with people she's romantically interested in. And we had a lot of intimate type talks about feelings, and how she really likes me, and i'm this great guy in all these ways, etc, given we had also hooked up a bit in the past. So it seems like she was setting it up so that I would be that guy that she has the romantic interest in and we have sex or do some stuff, but then she goes off and fukks another guy? wtf was the purpose of her telling me all that $hit then anyway? that just makes me feel confused and used? i guess that's what pissed me off.

At the time she probably meant it. She was probably caught up in the moment with you and really felt the chemistry. It's exciting to be with someone new, especially if you're really attracted to them. These moments you shared with her are the type of experiences I talked about earlier in this thread...they're genuine experiences, good times that you should remember fondly.

Unfortunately, the novelty of new relationships can wear off. It's likely that she wanted the excitement of the chase and those early stages of being with you, but when you stopped being a challenge she took you for granted and the magic faded for her. It's human nature. We get bored when something is too readily available to us.

 

[Alle_Gory]

In order to remove all feelings you need a degree of psychopathy (lack of conscience). There are people born like this, it's a genetic abnormality. I'm not sure if this can be induced by the environment like a very traumatic experience.

Your other option is to pick your targets (girls who are like you) and try to understand your emotions.

 

[oldspice891]

To answer your question ...


It's simple women are creatures who lie, manipulate for their own agendas. It doesn't necessarily mean all women, however all women of low quality will basically show you one thing and do other another.

They keep you hooked and then mind f you and then you get trapped.

Release your anger, start with the premise that you should always take what a woman says with a grain of salt until they prove it to you with action.

So in this case when she spews nonsense like she only gets intimate with peopel she's romantically interested in ... assume that means she doesn't unless she proves otherwise.

In this case as soon as you learned she was cheating you needed to divest yourself of any emotional involvement and depending on how you roll either eject or close and then eject.

There was no stability no loyality and woman like that are low class and deserve to be treated as such.

That was an amazing answer. Really hit home. That's exactly what happened. Got hooked because I got some action and thought i would get more, kept getting mind fked by her saying all these things about me, and i was just trapped, hoping and naively believing something would happen.

QUICK QUESTION
Based off that, will women know consciously that they are saying those things to try to keep the guy around? Do they think to themselves OR do they talk about it to their girlfriends and say "Ok, I gotta say I like him and he's great in all these ways etc, so he will continue to like me and talk to me and stick around." Like do they strategize this $hit? Or is it they say that basically because they are very emotional and it just so happens that if you feed them those positive emotions, they just so happen to spew it out at that very moment because that's what they felt like saying at the time and because they are on that "emotional high" from being around you.......YET they have no intention on acting on what they said??

I mean it in 2 ways really. A lot of guys will go on a date or two, hit it off with a girl and then feel a sense of loyalty to her and feel guilty about continuing to date other women. Some women might even lead a guy to think he's the only one, and that might be true, but until you are in an established relationship, you should still continue playing the field because you never know when this will fall through.

The 2nd way is the guilt some guys feel about using a girl just for sex and then moving on. Yes, she might get hurt that you don't want to pursue anything more, but that's how it goes sometimes. But she'll get over it. If you allow the guilt of disappointing someone to stop you from pursuing sex, then you will be the one to lose out.

There have been a number of girls I've slept with and I've been the one to get attached and hurt, but I'd much rather take the chance, enjoy the experience than do nothing.

Don't get me wrong, I do have an ethical code. If I think a girl is falling for me, then I won't use her for sex. Nor will I tell her I want a relationship or that she means something to me when that's not true. If I ever tell a girl I really like her/enjoy her company etc, I genuinely mean it....which brings me to your question...



At the time she probably meant it. She was probably caught up in the moment with you and really felt the chemistry. It's exciting to be with someone new, especially if you're really attracted to them. These moments you shared with her are the type of experiences I talked about earlier in this thread...they're genuine experiences, good times that you should remember fondly.

Unfortunately, the novelty of new relationships can wear off. It's likely that she wanted the excitement of the chase and those early stages of being with you, but when you stopped being a challenge she took you for granted and the magic faded for her. It's human nature. We get bored when something is too readily available to us.

Ah I see what you're saying, thanks for the clarification. Ultimately as you said it does come to playing the field, and understanding each situation. Btw thanks Jariel for all the replies dude.

@2nd part of your question. That's almost slightly conflicting I guess what from 411 said? I hear what you're saying because it's a good time to remember fondly...but that's what kind of makes me slightly angry about the situation? this is kind of long but I would really like your perspective since you've been pretty dope with helping me out.

Basically after she said that emotional stuff (where she's secretly really liked me and i'm this great guy, chemistry, has a place in her heart for me, etc.), I questioned her the next day where she revealed she's still in love with her ex-husband, wants to make it work, etc. The following day I kind of lost my cool and we got into a rift where i told her don't talk about that $hit about feelings etc because it would be stupid of me to have feelings for a girl still in love with her ex-husband. we talked a few times inbetween like nothing happened, then the following weekend she fukked the dude in vegas, then we got into another argument and we're done. prior two these two arguments, we've never argued and always been on cool terms. So that makes me wonder if she was actually geniune in what she said, or she was just saying that to keep me around? Did my kind of losing my cool lose the attraction in her eyes and she went and fukked that other dude? Or was she intending to do it with some other guy when the opportunity presented itself, and as 411 said, she was just lying about all that crap just to use me? honestly, i felt pretty hurt she would say those things then go and fukk some other dude like it was nothing, you know?

EDIT: But then it's like, if she REALLY wanted me, and liked me for me, wouldn't she overlooked that mild rift we initially got into and not go around and sleep with some other dude if she REALLY wanted to be romantically involved with me? that's why i felt confused and angered by it and that she was just using me and saying whatever because that is what popped into her head at the time, with no real intention of acting on it.

EDIT 2:

Just read that don juan tips album in the sh1t test thread that everyone fails and it seems like that was a sh!t test almost. I tried to bang her in the first 3 weeks, it didn't work out. then recently I revamped that attraction and she was subtly letting me know she was into me, and I blew that again. ahhh I loled about it right now. Atleast I know what I gotta work on, because in all honesty, if I was a REAL man, and she was feeling me but banged some dude in vegas, i ideally wouldn't give a fukk and work my game to bang her and move on (since she's not quality material anyway), but she tested me to reveal I'm still an AFC and I blew it. Ahhh. Good times. I'm laughing about it right now. you live and you learn.

BTW: to everyone, this thread has been extremely helpful. so i gotta say, thanks a bunch to all of you guys and im repping everyone here

 

[The_411]

That was an amazing answer. Really hit home. That's exactly what happened. Got hooked because I got some action and thought i would get more, kept getting mind fked by her saying all these things about me, and i was just trapped, hoping and naively believing something would happen.

QUICK QUESTION
Based off that, will women know consciously that they are saying those things to try to keep the guy around? Do they think to themselves OR do they talk about it to their girlfriends and say "Ok, I gotta say I like him and he's great in all these ways etc, so he will continue to like me and talk to me and stick around." Like do they strategize this $hit? Or is it they say that basically because they are very emotional and it just so happens that if you feed them those positive emotions, they just so happen to spew it out at that very moment because that's what they felt like saying at the time and because they are on that "emotional high" from being around you.......YET they have no intention on acting on what they said??


Ah I see what you're saying, thanks for the clarification. Ultimately as you said it does come to playing the field, and understanding each situation. Btw thanks Jariel for all the replies dude.

@2nd part of your question. That's almost slightly conflicting I guess what from 411 said? I hear what you're saying because it's a good time to remember fondly...but that's what kind of makes me slightly angry about the situation? this is kind of long but I would really like your perspective since you've been pretty dope with helping me out.

Basically after she said that emotional stuff (where she's secretly really liked me and i'm this great guy, chemistry, has a place in her heart for me, etc.), I questioned her the next day where she revealed she's still in love with her ex-husband, wants to make it work, etc. The following day I kind of lost my cool and we got into a rift where i told her don't talk about that $hit about feelings etc because it would be stupid of me to have feelings for a girl still in love with her ex-husband. we talked a few times inbetween like nothing happened, then the following weekend she fukked the dude in vegas, then we got into another argument and we're done. prior two these two arguments, we've never argued and always been on cool terms. So that makes me wonder if she was actually geniune in what she said, or she was just saying that to keep me around? Did my kind of losing my cool lose the attraction in her eyes and she went and fukked that other dude? Or was she intending to do it with some other guy when the opportunity presented itself, and as 411 said, she was just lying about all that crap just to use me? honestly, i felt pretty hurt she would say those things then go and fukk some other dude like it was nothing, you know?

EDIT: But then it's like, if she REALLY wanted me, and liked me for me, wouldn't she overlooked that mild rift we initially got into and not go around and sleep with some other dude if she REALLY wanted to be romantically involved with me? that's why i felt confused and angered by it and that she was just using me and saying whatever because that is what popped into her head at the time, with no real intention of acting on it.

EDIT 2:

Just read that don juan tips album in the sh1t test thread that everyone fails and it seems like that was a sh!t test almost. I tried to bang her in the first 3 weeks, it didn't work out. then recently I revamped that attraction and she was subtly letting me know she was into me, and I blew that again. ahhh I loled about it right now. Atleast I know what I gotta work on, because in all honesty, if I was a REAL man, and she was feeling me but banged some dude in vegas, i ideally wouldn't give a fukk and work my game to bang her and move on (since she's not quality material anyway), but she tested me to reveal I'm still an AFC and I blew it. Ahhh. Good times. I'm laughing about it right now. you live and you learn.

BTW: to everyone, this thread has been extremely helpful. so i gotta say, thanks a bunch to all of you guys and im repping everyone here

Depends on the woman. Mostly it's instinctual. Unfortunately there are women that calculating especially the Cluster B (BPDs, HPDs, etc) types. Mostly it is based off emotion. It's what they feel at that moment. It changes when logic catches up with their brains or you trigger some other emotion.


RE the conflicting part:

It all comes down to what I said earlier sometimes they do mean it in the moment sometimes they do mean what they say, and sometimes they say stuff not to hurt you or to keep you around.

This girl was pissed that you were upset that she went off and had her cake. What she wanted was to go screw that guy and you provide her with attention and come back hoping you were desperate enough to be an AFC pushover and put up with it. This "woman" reeks of BPD imo because BPD women love this type of drama and don't give a rat's ass but merely do it to see what you will tolerate.


The rule of thumb is that with high quality women losing your cool is unattractive. Now don't confuse that with being pushover. What it means that it's alpha to be in control and be Alpha. Being emotional and expressing anger outwardly is female behavior. Doesn't mean you can't be angry and voice your opinion, but when you get upset and snap it let's them know they've gotten the best of you. It drives women nuts when they act a fool and you don't explode but are very firm and indifferent. It sends the message you are replaceable and I don't need this crap.

 

[Rubirosa]

Your thread title is about having sex, but if I read everything clearly, you still haven't right ?
It just sounds like you're being to anylitical about everything.
Lose the V card. Don't worry so much about what kind of girl she is.
Women are very selfish sometimes. Their reasons for having sex with you don't need to be examined.
As long as you're getting it without compromising yourself too much, it's OK

 

[snowdog]

This thread is great! Lots of cool info.

Lose the V card.

I can definitely say that changed a lot for me personally. I was obsessed with that sh*t and when it was done, I didn't care so much anymore.

Don't worry so much about what kind of girl she is.

Eh... I say don't be too picky, but also don't jump into bed with the first crack ***** you can find.