Yes, it is damaging.
Women cannot comprehend the motive behind what you say. Therefore, you need to "act out" that which you are thinking and avoid verbalizing it.
If you tell her the sky is blue, and she wants it to be green, then you told her the sky is factually green in her little brain. Absurd, but true.
Let me start with "She said I could come over". Whether that is her verbatim statement, or just the way you said it, something is not right. A woman should never be in a position where she gives you "permission" to come over. If she is not greatly looking forward to seeing you, you're too available.
There is in fact a power struggle happening but the second you uttered those words, you opened up an entire universe of speculation and conjecture in he mind (the land of unicorns a rainbows). Now she is convinced that you are playing a childish game with her (while we here at SS understand that this is not the case, that you're trying to achieve proper balance). A woman will twist anything and everything that is verbally spoken back on a man.
That is why instead of verbalizing, a man must learn to act ruthlessly.
That means that you act out your thoughts with ABSOLUTE conviction and congruency. Ruthlessness conveys the "bad boy" attractiveness that all women feel.
Make no mistake... A man can be fearsomely ruthless and still be a nice, decent guy. But what he is not is a "Nice Guy". It is a matter of practicing ruthlessness enough to be incredibly mysterious to her (she should not be able to comprehend your laser-like focus) and enough to hold the DOMINANT frame in all your interactions with her.
Peppered within are moments of sensitivity, tenderness, affection, etc. Let me repeat... Peppered In.
Verbalizing relationship dynamics is almost always a relationship killer. It shows the chinks in your armor. Women fantasize about an exciting, mysterious man, with whom she's never quite positive how she stands. This of course is the direct opposite of what we guys like... stability, loyalty and reliability (things that exist in less than 1% of women).
The guys are right.. you should have just said, "Some other time" and went about the business of being the King of your life. Make her chase you. If she doesn't chase, it was doomed to begin with and only a matter of time till critical mass compelled her to lose interest. It's best to let these things precipitate earlier rather than later when it comes to relationships.
Women need to be trained, and it's extremely easy to train them the wrong way by verbalizing our thoughts.
Power never needs to be verbalized. It is intuited by the one who is less powerful. Act, be ruthless, and let your actions speak volumes to her.
.
