How am I suppose to have confidence when I get rejected constantly

[Dhoulmagus]

I do not even try to talk to girls because I feel like I am wasting my time. The only way for me to get a girl is for one to just attack me randomly one night, but that has not happened in so long and I am sick of being in a bad mood.

 

[adam225]

Your problem is.... YOURSELF i.e. your MINDSET. You need to learn how to take life with a pinch of salt instead of getting upset when things don't go your way. Lighten up man, learn how to replace those negative thoughts/emotions with positive one's. It's all tied into the way how you THINK. And anyone can change that...


Read a few phycology/spirituality books. "The Power of now" is a VERY good book.

 

[goodganji44]

If you aren't getting rejected, then you aren't doing it right. Good job, keep getting rejected and you will get stronger.

 

[adam225]

Huh ?? No. The reason he is getting "rejected" most likely lies in his personality. Until he sorts himself out, he'll just carry on getting rejected or be forced to go for low quality women.

 

[Mike32ct]

Assuming she's single, most women reject because of looks, not so much personality, confidence, etc. Most of the time, it's over before you open your mouth. Most guys don't even get a chance to show their personality. She gives you a quick scan with 300x zoom and decides hot or not hot in a split second.

So, honestly, don't worry about confidence. Keep trying and find a chick who is attracted to your type. Like my buddy said, it's about having a "thick skin." Deep down, you have to value yourself and not let shallow bishes bring you down.

 

[Dhoulmagus]

Assuming she's single, most women reject because of looks, not so much personality, confidence, etc. Most of the time, it's over before you open your mouth. Most guys don't even get a chance to show their personality. She gives you a quick scan with 300x zoom and decides hot or not hot in a split second.

So, honestly, don't worry about confidence. Keep trying and find a chick who is attracted to your type. Like my buddy said, it's about having a "thick skin." Deep down, you have to value yourself and not let shallow bishes bring you down.

But I see fugly guys with girls all the time and I constantly wonder how did she even let him in the front door.

 

[Mike32ct]

But I see fugly guys with girls all the time and I constantly wonder how did she even let him in the front door.

I hear ya. I see it too. But women do go for a certain "look," even if it's not one we agree with. They view it through a different lens. It doesn't matter if he looks like Shrek to us, it's HER type that is the deciding factor.

 

[XY.]

after a while rejection doesn't register

 

[user name]

I have a lot of confidence despite being rejected:

1) confidence in tying my shoes correctly
2) confidence in making breakfast
3) confidence in being rejected consistently
4) confidence in getting to work on time and doing a good job

etc etc

 

[Ihateinitiatingalot7]

Your not supposed to base your self-worth on girls, that's the cold harsh truth

 

[Robert28]

Assuming she's single, most women reject because of looks, not so much personality, confidence, etc. Most of the time, it's over before you open your mouth. Most guys don't even get a chance to show their personality. She gives you a quick scan with 300x zoom and decides hot or not hot in a split second.

So, honestly, don't worry about confidence. Keep trying and find a chick who is attracted to your type. Like my buddy said, it's about having a "thick skin." Deep down, you have to value yourself and not let shallow bishes bring you down.

I seriously wonder how some women view "attraction" with some of the guys I see them with.

 

[D Wolfgang]

I do not even try to talk to girls because I feel like I am wasting my time. The only way for me to get a girl is for one to just attack me randomly one night, but that has not happened in so long and I am sick of being in a bad mood.

It is tough for almost everyone. Except those few who have it easy, and they wouldn't bother looking for answers on the internet, heh. The bitter truth is that most of the time a girl rejects a guy because of looks, like Mike32 says. Of course, we do the same with women. Let's not disparate this; we have this strong instinct to look at looks because appearance signals health, youth and good appearance in various ways, and so looks is how we would know to find a good mate in the Stone Age. It is not "shallow", any more than liking chocolate because it is sweet is shallow. (Also a hard-wired instinct, because almost everything that tastes sweet in nature is edible.)

Anyway. Many will recommend quick-and-easy solutions to this, like "You have to think that YOU are the PRIZE!" I am sure that if it was that easy, this forum wouldn't exist. Most people think they are the prize, until they get rejected. And even then they think they are the prize. Everyone thinks himself unique.

I don't bother listen to that kind of feel-good philosophy about picking up. It is hard work, it takes a long time. Months of effort. Always looking for new social venues, always improving your physique and the way you act. Never knowing when your efforts will yield results. No wonder most hold on to a girl in a relationship that has long passed its expiration date; they never know when they will get to have sex again if they let her go.

I suggest reading this excellent condensed version of the DJ Bible. It will not give you the key to success, but it is worth thinking of. And hang in there. It is tough for most of us, me too. But eventually you will see success.