Hey guys. Newbie and rookie here. I've been lurking this site for the past couple days after a recent "friendzoning" (what else?) and have found it really interesting! I think I have a million questions. Fortunately for you guys, since I know how annoying the newbies are, I won't ask all of them. But here's at least one.
I've found that most people here favor a ****y approach to humor. Of course, this is good because it shows that your confident and elevates you to some sort of higher status. But I really can't use ****y humor all the time. I just feel too pompous and narcissistic, asking myself "Who do you think you are?" I don't consider it a matter of confidence, but rather, for lack of a better word, decency.
I've found in my personal style that I use a lot of self-deprecating humor. Your first reaction to that may be that it is bad; it shows weakness, it lowers your status, it simply isn't "macho." But I'm going to have to beg to differ here; enlighten me if you think I'm wrong.
Self deprecating humor, given that you do it right, shows that your confident in yourself enough to bring yourself down a notch. For example, I often play the ****y card, as many of you already do. I can say I'll go and beat this guy up for doing whatever. But, I'm a pretty small guy, and realistically, I just couldn't fight. I would get the "Who do you think you are?" look if I stuck with that statement. So I usually follow up my ****y humor with something like, "...course, I'd get my ass kicked" and people laugh.
These sort of jokes can be dangerous since they can actually make you look a little pathetic. They may actually garner more sympathy than laughter (which is definitely bad, but I know better than to do this). But I think by blending it with a ****y joke, it lessens or eliminates that effect. I've seen comedians like Jon Stewart and Conan O'Brien use this and it seems to work. Plus, everyone knows that I'm no wimp. I've confronted guys twice my size, I've confronted groups of guys twice my size. I work at a gas station in the rougher end of town and often am dealing with trouble (which is not an easy task for many other high school seniors I know).
But of course, the question comes down to how would it stand with girls? Yeah, sure, they'll laugh and find it funny. But is it unattractive? Surely, they wouldn't really dismiss me as dating material, as a wimp, because of it?
It may seem like I'm overanalyzing here, and I probably am, but I'm realizing that this sort of stems from some fear that on this "quest" to become a sort of Don Juan that I'll be losing a bit of my real self; a common theme, it looks like, throughout this forum. What do you guys think?
I've found that most people here favor a ****y approach to humor. Of course, this is good because it shows that your confident and elevates you to some sort of higher status. But I really can't use ****y humor all the time. I just feel too pompous and narcissistic, asking myself "Who do you think you are?" I don't consider it a matter of confidence, but rather, for lack of a better word, decency.
I've found in my personal style that I use a lot of self-deprecating humor. Your first reaction to that may be that it is bad; it shows weakness, it lowers your status, it simply isn't "macho." But I'm going to have to beg to differ here; enlighten me if you think I'm wrong.
Self deprecating humor, given that you do it right, shows that your confident in yourself enough to bring yourself down a notch. For example, I often play the ****y card, as many of you already do. I can say I'll go and beat this guy up for doing whatever. But, I'm a pretty small guy, and realistically, I just couldn't fight. I would get the "Who do you think you are?" look if I stuck with that statement. So I usually follow up my ****y humor with something like, "...course, I'd get my ass kicked" and people laugh.
These sort of jokes can be dangerous since they can actually make you look a little pathetic. They may actually garner more sympathy than laughter (which is definitely bad, but I know better than to do this). But I think by blending it with a ****y joke, it lessens or eliminates that effect. I've seen comedians like Jon Stewart and Conan O'Brien use this and it seems to work. Plus, everyone knows that I'm no wimp. I've confronted guys twice my size, I've confronted groups of guys twice my size. I work at a gas station in the rougher end of town and often am dealing with trouble (which is not an easy task for many other high school seniors I know).
But of course, the question comes down to how would it stand with girls? Yeah, sure, they'll laugh and find it funny. But is it unattractive? Surely, they wouldn't really dismiss me as dating material, as a wimp, because of it?
It may seem like I'm overanalyzing here, and I probably am, but I'm realizing that this sort of stems from some fear that on this "quest" to become a sort of Don Juan that I'll be losing a bit of my real self; a common theme, it looks like, throughout this forum. What do you guys think?