Houston, We have a problem

[Snowman23]

Honestly, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Throughout my life I've been told I'm good-looking, by guys and girls. I don't know if they were being nice or what. And I always thought I had a cool personality. But for some reason it dawned on me tonight that one, or both isn't true. I have pretty high standards (from what I was told by other people), yet I can't get the ones I want. Examples:

There was this one girl I worked with, I was cool with her and we flirted for a long time. Thought we were attracted to each other, wrooong. Asked her out, and deniiied.

Second time I was at the club with my guys and there was this hot chick kinda standing by the bar. I went to school with her a year before that. We talked here and there, and I know she remembered me. I went up to her and said "Hey, I had class with you last year, how's it going"? She replied with "Sorry, that must have been my long lost step sister." I thought to myself "wow, buuurn."

Just recently there was this other girl I was interested in and we made eye contact quite a bit at work, never talked too much though. I was gonna ask her to come to the club with me this weekend. Well, as we were leaving, I saw her and her boyfriend holding hands. Again, I thought "damn."

Soo. There's a few things that could be happening. One, bad luck. Two, I'm not as good-looking as I thought, or three my personality is that repulsive. Which I highly doubt. Either way, the bottom line is these women are not attracted to me.

I don't really know where to go with this because I'm happy, confident and always thought girls wanted me. lol, kind of confused right now.

 

[Snowman23]

Nobody has any idea?

 

[Poonani Maker]

Honestly, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Throughout my life I've been told I'm good-looking, by guys and girls. I don't know if they were being nice or what. And I always thought I had a cool personality. But for some reason it dawned on me tonight that one, or both isn't true. I have pretty high standards (from what I was told by other people), yet I can't get the ones I want. Examples:

There was this one girl I worked with, I was cool with her and we flirted for a long time. Thought we were attracted to each other, wrooong. Asked her out, and deniiied.

Second time I was at the club with my guys and there was this hot chick kinda standing by the bar. I went to school with her a year before that. We talked here and there, and I know she remembered me. I went up to her and said "Hey, I had class with you last year, how's it going"? She replied with "Sorry, that must have been my long lost step sister." I thought to myself "wow, buuurn."

Just recently there was this other girl I was interested in and we made eye contact quite a bit at work, never talked too much though. I was gonna ask her to come to the club with me this weekend. Well, as we were leaving, I saw her and her boyfriend holding hands. Again, I thought "damn."

Soo. There's a few things that could be happening. One, bad luck. Two, I'm not as good-looking as I thought, or three my personality is that repulsive. Which I highly doubt. Either way, the bottom line is these women are not attracted to me.

I don't really know where to go with this because I'm happy, confident and always thought girls wanted me. lol, kind of confused right now.

Become a fireman, the uniform = instant High Value

You may have done all the wonderful things in the world but if you don't have a doctor's suit or a military uniform then the woman will not have the REQUIRED proof she looks for in ANY man to PROVE himself to her. Having to PROVE yourself to ANY woman is "in the bag" when they are able to See a symbol of your worthiness.

 

[Snowman23]

Serious answers please.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Gallup says they can accurately poll all of the United States with a sample of under two thousand people. You, in contrast, are attempting to poll all of female humanity based upon three girls. And you ain't Gallup.

 

[MotownMack]

I don't know your history, but it sounds like it's just a string of bad luck.

What I absolutely can tell you, is that people have referred to you as good looking, then your looks are not the problem. To some extent, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but if you've gotten compliments on your appearance, you can rest assured that you are at least good looking enough to attract women.

No matter what your track record is with anything in life-work, finances, success with women-be it good or bad, don't let a short period of success or failure define you. It sounds like you're taking your last few experiences and making them into "who you are." (one of which-the girl having boyfriend-was completely independent of you in every way)

This ups and downs are normal. Just keep moving forward, and don't over think the short stretch.

 

[The Deacon]

I have a metaphor to explain this.

Let's say you're 7 feet tall and muscular. And, on top of that, you got the best basketball shoes on the market right on your feet. You are physically built perfectly for the game of basketball. You go out onto the court for the first time, expecting to tear up the place, but you get thrashed by kids who are a foot shorter than you. Frustrated, you go home and you wonder, why am I not the best player on the court? I'm 7 feet fall, muscular, and I have the best basketball shoes on the market?

The problem for the 7 foot basketball player is that he hasn't practiced enough. He's underexposed to the situation and therefore his inexperience is going to render him vulnerable against more experienced foes.

When I say experience, I mean that I don't think you've had enough exposure. Meeting and attracting women requires a decent amount of social calibration, and if you don't have it, you're going to get really confused a lot of the time. You need practice dating, escalating, reciprocating eye contact, maybe even normal conversation skills. Do you go out on dates frequently? Do you flirt with girls a lot? How many girls have you kissed? (These are rhetorical questions, by the way.)

 

[Enryu]

well i see some problems here.
The main problem is that you expect to be a BIG hit amongst ALL women.
Well you never will be.
Nor will there EVER be anyone who will ( Not even you Senor Fingerz! )
Just keep looking

Second you think by with your good looks you can have any girl.
But as it happens is, that women dont look so much on looks but on the personality. Maybe u didnt make eyecontact? Or came in with your head on the floor?( YOu know what i mean right?xD )

Third: I dont see any burn with the second girl... She had a boyfriend and thats it. It was a mistake allthough to not get her Phone number or something i dont know how u stand with going out with girls who have BFs?

Fourth: Stop whining and go out to meet some more Practice practice Practice and soon youll get the hottest chick there is. Just dont give up after the first few

 

[DonJuan11]

Honestly, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Throughout my life I've been told I'm good-looking, by guys and girls. I don't know if they were being nice or what. And I always thought I had a cool personality. But for some reason it dawned on me tonight that one, or both isn't true. I have pretty high standards (from what I was told by other people), yet I can't get the ones I want. Examples:

There was this one girl I worked with, I was cool with her and we flirted for a long time. Thought we were attracted to each other, wrooong. Asked her out, and deniiied.

Second time I was at the club with my guys and there was this hot chick kinda standing by the bar. I went to school with her a year before that. We talked here and there, and I know she remembered me. I went up to her and said "Hey, I had class with you last year, how's it going"? She replied with "Sorry, that must have been my long lost step sister." I thought to myself "wow, buuurn."

Just recently there was this other girl I was interested in and we made eye contact quite a bit at work, never talked too much though. I was gonna ask her to come to the club with me this weekend. Well, as we were leaving, I saw her and her boyfriend holding hands. Again, I thought "damn."

Soo. There's a few things that could be happening. One, bad luck. Two, I'm not as good-looking as I thought, or three my personality is that repulsive. Which I highly doubt. Either way, the bottom line is these women are not attracted to me.

I don't really know where to go with this because I'm happy, confident and always thought girls wanted me. lol, kind of confused right now.

Your ego has been built up over the years because of your looks. Lower it and start being sincere to the girls you like. Right now you're feeling is "How dare they reject me, they should be lucky that I'm even talking to them because I look like Brad."

Your personality may be repulsive too, I don't know. If it is, change it to what girls find attractive. IMHO, do your own thing, be passionate about something, work out, be fun, have friends, learn to enjoy other people's company, make some money, dress well, and girls will come.

 

[Snow Plowman]

Deacon made a great analogy...

What you lack is the experience and social calibration. The way you approached was horrible.

1. You asked a chick out...you should know by now that this I one of the worst ways to getting women. Look at it this way if you could have 100 different women in your bed right now, would you really ask a chick out? Basically you come off as a guy who has no options.

2. You reminded her that you were in her class a year ago...wow don't you think she'd know your one of the several chodes who liked her but never had the balls to talk to her. You should've just approached her as if she was a stranger and if she remembers you cool.

Go out and start approaching women, you have to gain the skill.