"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Houston: we have a problem

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MacAvoy

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I can't get my ex to stop popping in my mind. No matter what or where I go, everything reminds me of her. What can I do? As it stands I have the power, she's called me last, but I keep gettin the urge to give in and call.

The fact that I've been spinning plates has only made it worse. When I'm out with these new girls, keeps remindin me of stuff that I did with her, its whacked.

I feel like I just can't get away, no matter where I look or go, there she is. The sad part is, I don't even pine over her, I despise her, I think of her negatively but I'm addicted.

I need help.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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DjVelvet

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MacAvoy said:
I can't get my ex to stop popping in my mind. No matter what or where I go, everything reminds me of her. What can I do? As it stands I have the power, she's called me last, but I keep gettin the urge to give in and call.

The fact that I've been spinning plates has only made it worse. When I'm out with these new girls, keeps remindin me of stuff that I did with her, its whacked.

I feel like I just can't get away, no matter where I look or go, there she is. The sad part is, I don't even pine over her, I despise her, I think of her negatively but I'm addicted.

I need help.
I feel you, my friend. How long ago was the breakup?
 

Phyzzle

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I have the same problem, and it's NOT oneitis. I'm sure it's because I started dating her VERY soon after moving here.

My 1st few precious months of exploring this place were all with her.
 

KontrollerX

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How long ago was the breakup and what was the reason for it?
 

lookyoung

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MacAvoy said:
I can't get my ex to stop popping in my mind. No matter what or where I go, everything reminds me of her. What can I do? As it stands I have the power, she's called me last, but I keep gettin the urge to give in and call.

The fact that I've been spinning plates has only made it worse. When I'm out with these new girls, keeps remindin me of stuff that I did with her, its whacked.

I feel like I just can't get away, no matter where I look or go, there she is. The sad part is, I don't even pine over her, I despise her, I think of her negatively but I'm addicted.

I need help.
Sorry bro you get a neg rep from me. You must have made 10 threads about the same girl. Get over it your 31 years old. Be a man.

Spinning plates never makes these things worse. Your probably banging some fatties. Bang a few 8,9, and 10's, this will help with some of the symptoms of oneitis.

Workout,pickup a hobby, know that you are the prize.

You have been on this site for 5 years yet still have problems sophmores in highschool have.

She does not give a fvck about you.
Her interest level is low.
She will never respect you.

Now get out and spin some real plates.

Don't mean to be a prick. Srictly for motivation. That being said good luck in getting rid of that oneitis.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

Read more...

joekerr31

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your addicted to the high you got with her. the dopamine kick that she gave your brain.

when your with other women it gives your brain a little dopamine kick, but not as powerful as when you were with her because you've only just me these women.

as a result, when you are with other women it reminds you of powerful high you had with her and you miss her even more.

lust/love/infatuation is a drug. your going through withdrawal.

you're like a crack fiend who wants to call the local pusher for 'just one more hit'.

not a wise move.
 

Rudra

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joekerr31 said:
lust/love/infatuation is a drug. your going through withdrawal.
Good pep talk.

But I hope you´re not too serious about it. Every mental or even spiritual phenomenon has its physical counterpart, be it thoughts, feelings, meditation, prayer, all is there to measure, it´s all neurons, synapses, neurotransmitters, dopamine and whatever is floating around in our brains. But it is a huge mistake to say the phenomenon and its physical counterpart are IDENTICAL. And it´s even more stupid to say that our brain chemicals conjure up the phenomenon, when it´s the other way round. That´s just stupid biologism.
We don´t fall in love or oneitis or whatever BECAUSE the brain kicks out dopamine. It´s the other way round. We are not machines and not complete slaves to our brain chemicals, we do have choices... Although of course we are not completely free in any way.
 

joekerr31

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Rudra said:
Good pep talk.

But I hope you´re not too serious about it. Every mental or even spiritual phenomenon has its physical counterpart, be it thoughts, feelings, meditation, prayer, all is there to measure, it´s all neurons, synapses, neurotransmitters, dopamine and whatever is floating around in our brains. But it is a huge mistake to say the phenomenon and its physical counterpart are IDENTICAL. And it´s even more stupid to say that our brain chemicals conjure up the phenomenon, when it´s the other way round. That´s just stupid biologism.
We don´t fall in love or oneitis or whatever BECAUSE the brain kicks out dopamine. It´s the other way round. We are not machines and not complete slaves to our brain chemicals, we do have choices... Although of course we are not completely free in any way.

your response made next to no f*cking sense. were you smoking crack when you wrote it? wait, your location says russia, it makes sense now. :)

i didn't imply anything about casuality between the physical and the cognitive. who cares what causes the mood 'high' - whats relevant is that he's experiencing what he is experiencing because of it.
 

Rudra

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joekerr31 said:
your response made next to no f*cking sense. were you smoking crack when you wrote it? wait, your location says russia, it makes sense now. :)
Learn to read. Very rarely the best genes who shipped out to the US I see.

Kidding. What the f0ck has the country do to with argumentation?? Moron. Strange that everybody tends to come up with that. Last resort arguments? Russia, Newfoundland, the moon, what the f0ck??? That´s another matrix you are in, guys.

Your statement reads like downright biologism, so I answered it. And yes, its not even a tangent, but a direct answer.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Bible_Belt

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joekerr31 said:
your addicted to the high you got with her. the dopamine kick that she gave your brain.

when your with other women it gives your brain a little dopamine kick, but not as powerful as when you were with her because you've only just me these women.

as a result, when you are with other women it reminds you of powerful high you had with her and you miss her even more.

lust/love/infatuation is a drug. your going through withdrawal.

you're like a crack fiend who wants to call the local pusher for 'just one more hit'.

not a wise move.

Well stated. I guess it is all chemicals.
 

jophil28

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joekerr31 said:
your addicted to the high you got with her. the dopamine kick that she gave your brain.

when your with other women it gives your brain a little dopamine kick, but not as powerful as when you were with her because you've only just me these women.

as a result, when you are with other women it reminds you of powerful high you had with her and you miss her even more.

lust/love/infatuation is a drug. your going through withdrawal.

you're like a crack fiend who wants to call the local pusher for 'just one more hit'.

not a wise move.
THis is a perfect explanation of what you are feeling ,Mac-a -Voice .
YOu are not pining for the lost love of a great woman - you are withdrawing from the rush of BRAIN CHEMICALS.. Too bad the crazy ones trigger the biggest rush (sometimes !)
Bad women are like creamy chocolate - One small piece is not enough - you want the whole slab and you would drive all across town at midnight to the 7 Eleven to get some.
A great woman is like steamed broccoli - really GOOD for you, but not so that you would go out in the rain and snow at midnight for a bite.
 

DjVelvet

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Seems like some guys here are going through the tough process of breaking up.. Me, Feelingloved, PTC, Macavoy..

Honestly I am working very hard to control my emotions.

Macavoy, remember. You are not alone. We are in this together.


I'm in my 4th day of withdrawal, painful indeed. But i have to get away from this drug.

Joekker,

"your addicted to the high you got with her. the dopamine kick that she gave your brain. "

True.. Her smile, her affection towards me in the past all contributes to the dopamine kick that's running in my brain this very moment. But i still have to FORCE myself to kill this dopamine rush... She's an exrtremely hot babe. It really is tough.
 

jophil28

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DjVelvet said:
But i still have to FORCE myself to kill this dopamine rush...
How do you propose to do that ? Grit, determination. white knuckles ?
It does not work that way, DjVelvet.. You are powerless at the moment.
Brain chemicals are NOT under our control - well not directly or by any act of WILL. Trying to FORCE yourself to KILL the flow of dopamine is dumb grandiosity. Recovery from any drug requires ABSTINENCE (No contact) and then begins a slow process of restoration of your emotional stability.
YOu need to find activities and other people to "distract and replace " her, otherwise your are susceptible to relapse .
Relapse is a very real possibility for you ,in your situation. Beware "drunk dialing" and finding ways to see her. NO 'Drive-by's.. no waiting across the street in your car, no birthday cards, no messages on her V/mail.
No TEXTing///

No... No...Nothing ..Nada... Zip..
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

Read more...

penkitten

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there are many kinds of people that you will date.
some you could care less about the day you break up with them,
some that you think you will never get over,pine after for a while, then slowly you think about them less and less until you never think about them
and then there are some you will always think about.

only time will tell, and years from now, will you be able to look back and say which kind of person this was.

i think the best thing, is to do more things, to occupy yourself, so you do not make it worse on yourself.
 

disillusionist

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Rudra said:
Good pep talk.

But I hope you´re not too serious about it. Every mental or even spiritual phenomenon has its physical counterpart, be it thoughts, feelings, meditation, prayer, all is there to measure, it´s all neurons, synapses, neurotransmitters, dopamine and whatever is floating around in our brains. But it is a huge mistake to say the phenomenon and its physical counterpart are IDENTICAL. And it´s even more stupid to say that our brain chemicals conjure up the phenomenon, when it´s the other way round. That´s just stupid biologism.
We don´t fall in love or oneitis or whatever BECAUSE the brain kicks out dopamine. It´s the other way round. We are not machines and not complete slaves to our brain chemicals, we do have choices... Although of course we are not completely free in any way.

QFT. spot on. figures it would get dissed here.
 

Phyzzle

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penkitten said:
"If you are flamable and have legs you are never blocking a fire exit"- Mitch Hedberg.
I disagree. The notorious coconut grove night club fire in the 1930's killed hundreds after people jammed themselves into both sides of the revolving doors in a panic to get out before everyone else.
 

penkitten

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Phyzzle said:
I disagree. The notorious coconut grove night club fire in the 1930's killed hundreds after people jammed themselves into both sides of the revolving doors in a panic to get out before everyone else.
oh sheesh hahahahaha
i mean ,,,, what
 

jophil28

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Rudra said:
Good pep talk.

But I hope you´re not too serious about it. Every mental or even spiritual phenomenon has its physical counterpart, be it thoughts, feelings, meditation, prayer, all is there to measure, it´s all neurons, synapses, neurotransmitters, dopamine and whatever is floating around in our brains. But it is a huge mistake to say the phenomenon and its physical counterpart are IDENTICAL. And it´s even more stupid to say that our brain chemicals conjure up the phenomenon, when it´s the other way round. That´s just stupid biologism.
We don´t fall in love or oneitis or whatever BECAUSE the brain kicks out dopamine. It´s the other way round. We are not machines and not complete slaves to our brain chemicals, we do have choices... Although of course we are not completely free in any way.
This is rambling nonsense ? Too much "Wudka ?"
It is poorly conceived, contradictory and badly expressed.
Anyone care to offer a translation into English.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

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