"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Hot girl from the library

DJ_Dave

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Hi, there's this really hot girl that goes to my university library every day. I'm pretty sure she's noticed me but I haven't been able to start a conversation with her. I was hoping to maybe just bump into her eventually, maybe while she was having lunch but it never happened and I would feel uncomfortable just approaching her otherwise. Any ideas on how to approach someone in this environment? Also, have I probably missed my opportunity after waiting so long? Thanks.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Mr Wright

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It's never too late!

Tbh on this course, you'll "bump" into her at lunch and still have nothing to say. Just make light out of all running into her a lot, like shes your stalker.
 

DJ_Dave

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Actually, that's quite good! And something I would actually say. My problem is I always wait for the right moment so should I just go up to her or wait for a better opportunity?
 

nismo-4

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Make a move already. That's the only way you'll know. :yes:

Stop procrastinating and make a move.

The worst she can do is say no. :(

Then you can just accept that your princess is in another castle. You're just assuming that.

So make a move already!

Case closed.
 

Naughty Ninja

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DJ_Dave said:
Hi, there's this really hot girl that goes to my university library every day. I'm pretty sure she's noticed me but I haven't been able to start a conversation with her. I was hoping to maybe just bump into her eventually, maybe while she was having lunch but it never happened and I would feel uncomfortable just approaching her otherwise. Any ideas on how to approach someone in this environment? Also, have I probably missed my opportunity after waiting so long? Thanks.

A simple smile, wave and a hello will do. You know. Like millions upon millions of people have done throughout history and still do today.

Smile, wave at her and say hello. If she smiles and waves back you can ask a quick question or two about what she's reading, put out your hand and tell her your name and then go about your business.

I and every other normal person does that every day. It's simply amazing how that works. Eventually you'll either start up longer conversations or you won't. It's called life. Not some PUA fruitcake klingon mind manipulation game.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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DJ_Dave

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Thanks, I actually don't really care that there's a fair chance she'll say no but I have a problem with how I'll come across just approaching someone I've never met before.
 

Brian Drake

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DJ_Dave said:
Thanks, I actually don't really care that there's a fair chance she'll say no but I have a problem with how I'll come across just approaching someone I've never met before.
This attitude is going to hurt you. How do I know this? Trust me. It killed me for years. Do what Naughty Ninja suggested and do not deviate. It works. It's simple. The more you get used to making small talk about something going on around you the better these approaches go. Know what? Sometimes they help you by contributing something on their own. You don't know until you open your mouth.

And if you stumble, try something I did in college: As I was introducing myself to a young lady in the library, I asked if I could borrow a pen because it was all that would come out of my mouth. :crackup:
 

bigneil

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Why not come on so strong you are actually trying to scare them off?

Then when you fail, you succeed!

I tried this twice on hot neighbors who were annoying me. I'd invite them in and throw them down and tear at their clothes, hoping they'd run. They both stayed.
 

Masculinity

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DJ_Dave said:
There's this really hot girl that goes to my university library every day. Any ideas on how to approach?
How about "hi, I noticed you come here often, thought you were cute and wanted to talk to you. I'm DJ Dave and you are?"
 
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"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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perseverance

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If she was reading, I'd pass a comment on the book she was reading and that would create the first interaction. That would be the ice breaker as it were.
 

Masculinity

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San Jose California said:
don't listen to robyn that's cheesey as fucking hell
I have actually used these and have them work like a charm. Call them what you want, if they work I am using them. OP: up to you to use it or not.
 
P

perseverance

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It all comes down to different strokes for different folks doesn't it? What works for one person won't necessarily work for another person. One person might feel comfortable taking one such approach and another person wouldn't. You just have to find what works for you and what gets you the best possible results.
 

DJ_Dave

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Thanks guys. Yeah, the cheesy lines might work but thats kind of what I'm trying to avoid. Something more natural would work much better for me. I also realise that just waiting for something to happen is a bad way to go about it.
 

BigSmooth

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Forget the PUA mentality, and worrying about how this girl will respond.


Just be friendly. Stop worrying so much. Just go up and talk to her and make light, small conversation.


Not everything has to be so meticulously planned out and over-analyzed. It's called being a sociable, friendly person.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Fly By Night

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DJ_Dave said:
Thanks guys. Yeah, the cheesy lines might work but thats kind of what I'm trying to avoid. Something more natural would work much better for me. I also realise that just waiting for something to happen is a bad way to go about it.
What do you mean that's a cheesy line? You DO find her attractive don't you? So just say what's on your mind. If you think she's cute then just SAY so! it's not being cheesy, it's being assertive.
 

DJ_Dave

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You say that but I am friendly, I just don't make a habit of talking to every stranger I come across. If we had a mutual friend or a reason to talk there would not be any problem. I agree that I should just go talk to her but you must see why that could be weird for her?
 

Masculinity

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Fly By Night said:
What do you mean that's a cheesy line? You DO find her attractive don't you? So just say what's on your mind. If you think she's cute then just SAY so! it's not being cheesy, it's being assertive.
This guy surely knows what he's talking about.
 

BigSmooth

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DJ_Dave said:
You say that but I am friendly, I just don't make a habit of talking to every stranger I come across. If we had a mutual friend or a reason to talk there would not be any problem. I agree that I should just go talk to her but you must see why that could be weird for her?
I'm in college so I know your predicament. I don't talk to every random person I come across either, just the ones that either engage me first, or ones that I have an urge to talk to.

I actually have had a scenario where I did see a girl that I found attractive come to spot where I usually go in the library quite frequently.

So one day when I walked in and saw her sitting at one of those large group tables, I just walked up and said:


BigSmooth: Hey, do you mind if I sit here?

Girl: Nope, not at all. *Clears some of her stuff so I can put my stuff down*

BigSmooth: Cool, there was just no more room anywhere else. It's so tough to find a good place now. This place is crowded. (The floor was actually pretty empty, I said this as a joke. If delivered right, you'll come across funny. If not, well...you'll seem effin creepy.)

Girl: Haha, if I didn't see you so much on this floor, I'd call you a creep.

BigSmooth: Glad you noticed me so much then. I'm *insert name* by the way. I actually wanted to sit here because I see you all the time around here and you seemed like someone I'd like to meet. And because studying alone for hours sucks ya know?

Girl: Ah I see...well it's nice to meet you! I'm *insert name*. And yeah, I get so bored up here.

BigSmooth: (Notices she's wearing a sorority shirt, and I am in a fraternity myself so this gives us some common ground) Ah I feel ya, this place drives me crazy sometimes. So I'm looking at your shirt, you're in Kappa Kappa Gamma? Do you know *insert name of a sorority sister she might know*

Girl: Yep! And yesss, I love her so much! She's actually one of my roommates this year! I take it you're in a fraternity?

BigSmooth: Haha yeah she's pretty awesome. And yes I'm a *insert my fraternity* Too bad we're too good to socialize with y'all... (I then turn my head to pretend to ignore her)


And then it continues on from there.

She actually became one of my good friends, she has a boyfriend though.



Just go and do your thing. The perfect moment can never happen if things are not done to make it happen. Passive waiting benefits no one.
 

Tictac

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C&F - cheesy & funny

A while back, I kept running into the same HB at the grocery store. Different days, odd times - for several weeks. Never a word between us but some IOIs (well, I think so anyway).

One day when we were going opposite directions on the same aisle, I said "we've got to stop meeting like this". She burst out laughing. there ensued a torrid relationship.

Try anything. Saying nothing will accomplish nothing. Sooner or later, she won't be there.
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

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