hot body at coffeeshop-teasing me?

[allan976]

This is my first post on this board: I just discovered this site over christmas break and don't agree with with every aspect of the dj approach necessarily but am trying to apply it in part. Sorry for the lengthy post, but I want it be detailed enough so that someone can give me honest feedback on whether I should try to continue my pursuit of this girl.

Here's my question. There is this a '9.5' HB (early 20's) at the coffeeshop where I am a regular: (dyed) blonde hair, tan, big rack, long skinny legs, white teeth, new outfit every day, etc.
I thought she was giving me some tell tale signs of interest: staring and smilng, giving me furtive glances out of the corner of her eye, acting nervous around me, etc. and so I finally decided to ask her out.

This girl is a portuguese speaker, and wants to improve her English. I dropped some hints that she could improve by practicing with someone (with me I was hoping). She seemed excited by the idea, although I didn't ask her out quite then.

A couple weeks ago, I dropped by and gave her a college catalog like I said I would earlier, and she loved it. I also practiced some portuguese with her, and she seemed happy to help me. Following the DJ strategy, I did cut the convo short after a few minutes. This girl looked shocked when I said goodbye. Her smile disappeared, and she blurted out: 'let me know when you need some help with your portuguese, I can help you, anytime.'

I was headed out the door by then, so I didn't think to actually try to ask her out right there and then, but kept her idea/invitation? in mind for later.

About a week and a half after that, I dropped by again, and after I had some food there, I suggested that the two of us get together so I could help her out with her english.

This girl said she wakes up at 4:30 AM, goes to work all day, then goes to school in the evenings. She said she works on Saturday also, and therefore has no time, not even personal time for herself. She said things might slow down a bit in April when a new school term starts, 'maybe.'

I felt like I wasted several weeks trying to develop a rapport with this girl only to get the big 'blow-off'.

One last note: this girl did mention a boyfriend some time ago. She mentioned him in a slightly negative way, saying that she wanted to improve her english but that she spoke portuguese with him as well as her other friends 'all the time' (implying he was a hindrance or 'holding her back' from her goals). So maybe this is the reason for her lack of interest.

So, should I have dropped my pursuit of the girl upon mention of the boy/borefriend? Did I act like an AFC by offering and then getting her a catalog too soon? Was she just leading me on all along? I am ready to drop this project in pursuit of others.

Brutally honest feedback is welcome!

Peace.

 

[Julian]

I actually think you did things quite well although you should have acted on her interest earlier. And your not AFC for bringing the catalog so quick since you ARE a regular there anyway.

She may be busy but her saying "oh i may have an opening in april" is bull****, if i were you i would have just said "well this is a once in a lifetime chance your passing up on, girl" Then if she still denied i would have just acted as if i didnt give a sh1t in the first place. I would still be a regular at the cofee shop and go on with life, maybe bring a hot date to the coffee shop to make the original blonde chick jealous.

 

[Trance]

Well, she did have some time to teach you portuguese, and for you to teach her english didnt she? So if she cant go along for a date, just sugest one more teaching session, and try to make a move during that session, start by holding her hand, or your arm around her or something while talking near her ear, and try a kiss. If that doesnt work, you didnt lost nothing at all anyway, you stoped thinking about it and you next her. If she's a HB9.5 i would try this final one with her for sure.

btw, where you and her from and where u guys live? Im from portugal, that's why im asking.

 

[allan976]

Thanks for the feedback.

I am basically willing to let this fish back in the sea. I had actually gone there yesterday and she wasn't there (she's usually off Sundays only). Plus, the manager, who is usually quite friendly, was also oddly distant. I suspect she is avoiding me and has likely been talking to her co workers about the situation as well.

I just find it sad that this girl would go out of her way to lead a guy on for attention, and then have to miss work (and money) to avoid the fall out of being caught in a lie. This situation has "attention-wh***" syndrome written all over it, so I don't think it's even worth bothering getting her jealous. Onto the NEXT!

BTW, Trance, this girl is from Brazil. A dyed blonde with deep tan and caucasian facial features. A very exotic mix (not that I am prejudiced, I am just saying she looks very different from the rest and hence my high level of interest).

 

[allan976]

one more try?

OK fellas,

I must admit, this post is part shameless bump, part legitimate question.

I left off a few days ago by saying that I was ready to move on, ready to 'next' this girl. Obviously, I've since reconsidered. What I overlooked was the fact that this girl was extremely pissed off at me when I last talked to her. Her jaw muscles became very tight and tense while she was saying she was too busy, and her eyes narrowed into little slits. She looked evil, man.
As someone else on this board once said, apathy, NOT anger, is the opposite of love (or at least interest).

I've reached the conclusion that this girl is extremely upset that I talked with her then
walked out on her a couple days before valentine's, without asking her out for a date. She must also be extremely embarrassed about the fact that she blurted out a hint about me asking her out without me following up on it.

DJ's, realize that inaction and/or poor timing can mark you as an 'enemy' in the eyes of an interested girl; she might even go so far as to try to get revenge on you. For example, the other staff at the coffeeshop are now oddly distant and aloof whenever I walk in; she has clearly been talking about me, and in a less than positive manner.

Enough of the rant. Now the question. I am willing to tolerate any AFC accusations here, but I am thinking about sending her a flower, a single rose as a 'makeup gift.' This will acknowledge my poor timing at least and maybe get me another shot with her.

Would this move set me up as a pathetic AFC in her eyes? Or, might she see it as romantic and sensitive? Even if she likes it, does this set me up for a long line of gift giving whenever she perceives a foul up on my part?

Oh, and Trance, we are both in La-La land, (Los Angeles). Oddly, I have not even seen one guy attempt a pick up move on her; not one compliment on her appearance, not one exaggerated smile, nothing. Just goes to show how infrequent pickup attempts really are, even in this La La land/mecca of supposed players!

Allan

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Dood your being a one-itis chump!!! She works at a coffee shop, her job is to be friendly to you!! Especially since you are regular there, they want your business first and foremost. I'm not trying to be mean, but I don't think this chick EVER had any interest in you romantically, plus she mentioned she had a boyfriend. She has no time for you, meaning she's not interested, let it go bro.

Your conclusion is completely inaccurate!!



PIMP