horrible night-oneitutus

[captain55]

well fellas...two months of me dating this chick, trying to convince myself that she was a "good girl" "taking it slow" and a good chick with "morals" I was all ****ing wrong. Her text to me..

"captain, I know that your trying but im being honesti dont see this going anywhere, not where you are wanting it to go):"

it stung like hell....I genuinely liked this chick. It's one thing to get rejected from a girl at a club....or a first date....you dont know the *****. But I dont care how tough you are being led on for two months ****ing sucks.

then i asked her if there was someone else and she told me yes.....that hurt even more.

Im really, really going to try to forget about her as soon as possible...but I was in one of those "cozy" zones where I really didn't put much effort into talking to other women while i was into her. Big mistake.... That developed into some serious terminal oneitus.

Im so down im not really in the mood for dating but i know its imperative. Anyone got any suggestions for me on how to get over this as fast as possible ...the emotional aspect id appreciate it. My Confidence is absolute **** right now

 

[Olivia]

You have conditioned your ego towards her way too much, and a few things will help you calm down.

First of all, accept it that you conditioned yourself in those two months in a way that she penetrated very deeply into your being. What i'm saying is that: accept it. The very fact that you accept your defeat will give you alot. Second, you are sad; accept it too. Accept the sadness, and it has almost left you. Do not fight the sadness. Sadness is there, it is good, a real man knows how to be sad time to time. So if you feel down, let that feeling be there, and be conscious of it. Do not tell it to go away. Lastly, I will tell you something realy important: slowly do other things that you feel like doing. When sad, you don't feel like doing anything but the sadness wont be there forever. When a glimpse of light comes, take advantage of it and do something you feel like doing. Slowly you will like it more and more, and the sadness towards your last girl will faint away. You say that you want to move on as fast as possible. I will tell you that this is the fastest possible way.

Another way would be fighting: you can fight your emotions forever and ever, but I have tried myself, and it hasn't helped me at all, at the most it can give a small relief, but it costs alot. The emotion will come back even stronger, twice, thirce. So do not fight your emotions, accept them.

 

[Greasy Pig]

Every man on these boards has had similar fvcked up epiphanies which make you realise that women can be the most wonderful things to happen to you AND exhibit the absolute worst kind of cold, mercenary inhuman behaviour imaginable.
What you need to do is not blame her. Hypergamy is a bytch and this chick chose another over you.
It happens to the best DJs every day, no matter how tight their game is. You can apply all the techniques taught here to build attraction, but at the end of the day, it still boils down to the woman's choice.

So now that you know women are driven by hypergamy above all else, you put it one side and start focusing on yourself.
What could you have done differently? Were you too available? Did you sit there patiently listening to her while she bytched about some guy who broke her heart? Did you focus on her too much while neglecting yourself? Did you fail to escalate your physical interactions quickly enough? Did you hand power in the relationship to her (not making decisions, being a follower etc)? Did you allow desperation to control your actions? Were you willing to walk away at the first red flag(s)?
I think if you look back, you'll realise the day you were friend-zoned but still chose to hang in there in the hope she'd come to her senses and choose you.
The path to becoming a DJ is hard and littered with relationships that might've been, chances missed and mistakes made.
Charge this one to experience and get out there with the aim to be the best man you can be. Hit the gym, buy new clothes, read the DJ Bible, remember that women are after the man they think can best suit their needs at that time in their lives.
Your job is to be that man. Whether it's the uncompromising, hard-headed bad-boy or the suave and sleek ladykiller with his shyt together, you need to raise your own bar and make yourself a woman's first choice, not the guy she's `not looking for that kind of relationship' with.
Your goal should be that the next time this chick sees you, she will be amazed at what you've become and then extremely upset that she let you slip through her fingers.
By then, you'll have that many chicks trying to bang you that you won't give this broad a second look.

Good luck.

 

[Olivia]

#Sickness is overhigh

 

[Olivia]

About the things that Greasy asked you, those are the things that you should prepare in life. These things attracts women. Not only women, in every relationship, you should apply them.

 

[Big Nuts]

Stay busy is also key, and as Greasy said...great post.

Don't mope around the house. Hang with your buddies, hit the gym, watch some action movies, eat well, set goals to improve your lifestyle and style...do it all to improve yourself for yourself...a chick will enter your life at the most unexpected time because you have worked on yourself and you give off an "aura" of confidence and health that simply attracts them to you. While staying busy, your oneitis will slowly dissipate.

 

[captain55]

Every man on these boards has had similar fvcked up epiphanies which make you realise that women can be the most wonderful things to happen to you AND exhibit the absolute worst kind of cold, mercenary inhuman behaviour imaginable.
What you need to do is not blame her. Hypergamy is a bytch and this chick chose another over you.
It happens to the best DJs every day, no matter how tight their game is. You can apply all the techniques taught here to build attraction, but at the end of the day, it still boils down to the woman's choice.

So now that you know women are driven by hypergamy above all else, you put it one side and start focusing on yourself.
What could you have done differently? Were you too available? Did you sit there patiently listening to her while she bytched about some guy who broke her heart? Did you focus on her too much while neglecting yourself? Did you fail to escalate your physical interactions quickly enough? Did you hand power in the relationship to her (not making decisions, being a follower etc)? Did you allow desperation to control your actions? Were you willing to walk away at the first red flag(s)?
I think if you look back, you'll realise the day you were friend-zoned but still chose to hang in there in the hope she'd come to her senses and choose you.
The path to becoming a DJ is hard and littered with relationships that might've been, chances missed and mistakes made.
Charge this one to experience and get out there with the aim to be the best man you can be. Hit the gym, buy new clothes, read the DJ Bible, remember that women are after the man they think can best suit their needs at that time in their lives.
Your job is to be that man. Whether it's the uncompromising, hard-headed bad-boy or the suave and sleek ladykiller with his shyt together, you need to raise your own bar and make yourself a woman's first choice, not the guy she's `not looking for that kind of relationship' with.
Your goal should be that the next time this chick sees you, she will be amazed at what you've become and then extremely upset that she let you slip through her fingers.
By then, you'll have that many chicks trying to bang you that you won't give this broad a second look.

Good luck.

Greasy in my honest opinion brother, I did everything pretty well. I didn't act needy, desperate, or clingy at all..... but there was just no physical attraction for her to me.

I mean the girl said she tried to gave me a chance, beacuse it seemed like i really liked her..(so she says)...but if a girl is just not attracted to you, is there anything you can really do? I gave it my all bro, and still failed....she chose someone else. Everything i had was not good enough for her....
after she said the above, and I pulled a hail marry...told her how ifelt about her etcetc....she said
"I dont want to get your hopes up but i seriously need some space right now, your kind of starting to freak me out"

so I deleted her number

 

[captain55]

Stay busy is also key, and as Greasy said...great post.

Don't mope around the house. Hang with your buddies, hit the gym, watch some action movies, eat well, set goals to improve your lifestyle and style...do it all to improve yourself for yourself...a chick will enter your life at the most unexpected time because you have worked on yourself and you give off an "aura" of confidence and health that simply attracts them to you. While staying busy, your oneitis will slowly dissipate.

I'm gonna try. And the biggest mistake I did IMO had nothing to do with her, it was simply not putting effort into other women while I saw this one. I found a chick i liked got comfortable, and stopped talking to other girls for a few months.

 

[Big Nuts]

If she doesn’t feel attraction, there’s nothing you can do about it.
If she does feel attraction, there’s nothing she can do about it.
--------------------
Truer words have not been written.

The sooner men understand and accept this fact, the happier they will be and the sooner they will move on to new poon.

 

[captain55]

If she doesn’t feel attraction, there’s nothing you can do about it.
If she does feel attraction, there’s nothing she can do about it.
--------------------
Truer words have not been written.

The sooner men understand and accept this fact, the happier they will be and the sooner they will move on to new poon.

Should of just gotten the message...all the signs that she wasnt feeling it were there. But my ego was too big to accept the fact that this chick didn't like me...I tried to give every reason in the book about why she would look around when we were out, why it was always her texting me first, why there was very little sexual tension .....but it sucks to know that a girl didnt ever really like you, and the only reason she dated oyou because she knew you liked her and wanted to give you a chance..
obviously guys dont give a **** about some ***** they dont even know lol but hey...liked her alot man.

On the other hand, I feel motivated...fresh...and ready for a new start. I really thought she was the prize but when I step back and look at the situation, I think i can do better....

 

[Fatal Jay]

well fellas...two months of me dating this chick, trying to convince myself that she was a "good girl" "taking it slow" and a good chick with "morals" I was all ****ing wrong. Her text to me..

"captain, I know that your trying but im being honesti dont see this going anywhere, not where you are wanting it to go):"

it stung like hell....I genuinely liked this chick. It's one thing to get rejected from a girl at a club....or a first date....you dont know the *****. But I dont care how tough you are being led on for two months ****ing sucks.

then i asked her if there was someone else and she told me yes.....that hurt even more.

Im really, really going to try to forget about her as soon as possible...but I was in one of those "cozy" zones where I really didn't put much effort into talking to other women while i was into her. Big mistake.... That developed into some serious terminal oneitus.

Im so down im not really in the mood for dating but i know its imperative. Anyone got any suggestions for me on how to get over this as fast as possible ...the emotional aspect id appreciate it. My Confidence is absolute **** right now

This is the type of stuff that turn clark kents into superman. Everyone DJ have had that one chick who made him refuse to ever give these broads mercy ever again.

 

[mike465]

Im really, really going to try to forget about her as soon as possible...but I was in one of those "cozy" zones where I really didn't put much effort into talking to other women while i was into her. Big mistake.... That developed into some serious terminal oneitus.

Man I can relate to this. I got so much tunnel vision for her that I set myself up for a big fall. I mean, I kissed 4 other girls in clubs during that time but never even thought to go on dates/further with anyone but her. Big mistake. It won't happen again so early on in a relationship. Hopefully you'll get past this, we're basically in similar positions and I'm right by you on this bro

 

[NewAndImproved]

Should of just gotten the message...all the signs that she wasnt feeling it were there. But my ego was too big to accept the fact that this chick didn't like me...I tried to give every reason in the book about why she would look around when we were out, why it was always her texting me first, why there was very little sexual tension .....but it sucks to know that a girl didnt ever really like you, and the only reason she dated oyou because she knew you liked her and wanted to give you a chance..
obviously guys dont give a **** about some ***** they dont even know lol but hey...liked her alot man.

On the other hand, I feel motivated...fresh...and ready for a new start. I really thought she was the prize but when I step back and look at the situation, I think i can do better....

The more specific you think your problem/experience is, the more universal it actually is.

What happened to you happened to me... and was the woman who brought me to this site. Same deal. "Wasn't sure about me but gave me a chance."

Good news is after the initial pain, and sending her a few messages to take me back, I've become more of the man I've wanted to be each year. I'm actually glad what happened happened. New and improved.

 

[VladPatton]

I think I would of gotten pissed if she told me "I just stayed with you to give you a chance". That's so cruel. She wasted your time just because she had pity for you. Damn. I know the feeling. It's like you have to take things week by week and ask yourself every Friday night "ok, so what signs came up this week that I can take as red flags??" I swear, the paranoid always survive.

 

[jeffreylebowski]

How is her always texting you first a sign she wasn't feeling it?

 

[Greasy Pig]

This is the type of stuff that turn clark kents into superman. Everyone DJ have had that one chick who made him refuse to ever give these broads mercy ever again.

Absolutely 100% agree with this.