"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Read more...

Hoping to "condense the nonsense" before it becomes a mess

The Comeback Kid

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 4, 2005
Messages
591
Reaction score
5
I haven't been on the board all too much lately (I'm doing well right now, so I haven't had many questions), but I feel I need your help and insight on a particular situation I am in.

At my summer job/internship, everyone seems to get along pretty well. A couple weeks ago, a HB8 made her "debut" where I work. She's a fun and cool person to be with, adding to her overall attractiveness. :up: Seems basic enough, right? Well, this is where the games begin.

HB8, who was "hyped" upon her arrival (before she began working, my boss told me and my co-worker, who works in the same department, that she is pretty attractive) is proving the "hype" to be true. As I mentioned, both her looks and attitude are great. However, I realized after a few days that HB8 is clever. She is very flirtatious, and I believe she is/was trying to get into me and my co-worker's head. She is very touchy, always touching my arm, my chest, etc., which means a lot of kino. She also is good w/ witty remarks, which we usually exchange back and forth. My co-worker got sucked into this despite my warning, and I am pretty sure he "likes" her. Now I know she doesn't "like" him - heck, she may not even like him in general (he made a few mistakes which weren't pretty to watch).

You're probably wondering what the problem is here. Everything seems to be going well - she's flirting, she's initiating a lot of kino, we talk often, we get each other to laugh, etc. However, a few people in the office seem to have a hunch that I "like" her. My guess is that this was started by my co-worker, who is convinced I have feelings for her, and my superior (among a couple others) ask if she's "my girl." To answer this assumption: NO, I don't really "like" her - in other words, if you asked me who I have strong feelings for at the moment, the answer would be no one. YES, I see her as a fun person to be with, and YES, I would likely accept a date if she ever did try to make a move.

Hopefully, everything I wrote here makes sense. My main question to you guys...How do I downplay these rumors which are sure to build (so things don't get awkward around the office), while also maintaining the same rapport I have with HB8 (if she believes I "like" her, things may get a little uncomfortable)? Also, just a general question I couldn't find the answer to and could help when I return to school in the fall: What is the best way to play a flirt for attraction purposes, and how does one keep her from getting to your head? My guess is that you show her a decent amount of attention, and then not really see/involve yourself with her for a little while.

Any help here is appreciated.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

theunflushables

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 28, 2007
Messages
1,104
Reaction score
20
If this is an internship that is going to play a huge part in your education and future job prospects, don't even think about dipping your pen in the company ink. It leads to nothing but trouble.
 

The Comeback Kid

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 4, 2005
Messages
591
Reaction score
5
theunflushables said:
If this is an internship that is going to play a huge part in your education and future job prospects, don't even think about dipping your pen in the company ink. It leads to nothing but trouble.
Absolutely true, and a very good point. I have this thought in mind.

This internship doesn't affect my education (it's not for credit), and I would say this internship is a start to my future (I'm only a rising Soph, so having an internship at this age is a little rare - heck, I'm teo years younger than my co-worker in the department and I think I'm the youngest one working there period).

The only thing that could possibly play devil's advocate here; I know my co-workers a lot better than she does, so it would seem they'd be on my side if anything came up.

Again though, good point w/ the "company ink" line. I definitely don't want any sort of trouble in the office since things have gone very well so far.
 

The Comeback Kid

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 4, 2005
Messages
591
Reaction score
5
Just wondering if anyone had any insight/advice (in a general context) of how to play a flirt, and keep one from getting into your head w/ her "tactics."

Since I'm making the post for the above reason anyway, I may as well give you guys a FR of what went on today,since some things you may want to critique. After making this post, I may need some thoughts on the bolded question atop this post, since I really do not want to get sucked into her games.

-My co-worker mentioned in the original post is once again letting her flirtatious attitude get into his head. She does have a great personality, and seems rather nice with people she isn't the biggest fan of. I am pretty sure she dislikes my co-worker, but my co-worker is wondering if she really does "dislike" him...or if she really does "like" him and is playing around. This could get very interesting.

-When I'm at work, I make a bunch of snappy/witty spur-of-the-moment comments which often draw a laugh, as I get along with my co-workers. Anyway, I made two of these remarks today when I was talking with HB8, my co-worker and my boss. I though these comments were alright - I didn't think they were that funny, but HB8 was laughing her @$$ off, and though what I said was very clever. She even high-fived me after one of them (and no, she was not being sarcastic at all - she really thought it was good).

-I was running into her a lot in general. I figure that's what happens when we're working at the same place, but this did occur often enough that I did notice it.
 
Top