Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Hooking up w/ a neighbor

Golden Arms

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Hooked up w/ a girl that lives a floor above me in my building. So we're not exclusive, obviously, since we just hooked up for the 1st time Monday night.

Still, I can't help but feel apprehensive about potentially bringing another girl home (even a plutonic female friend) and accidentally bumping into her in the elevator or something.

What do you guys think ? Is it just a bad idea to hook up w/ neighbors, kind of like coworkers ?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Stort_Brød

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HAHA you are no where near exclusive so that means that it is open season on pvssy! So get your gun and start hunting. wow you might bum into her? so what! it means that it will show her you are no AFC and have a value because other females are after you in turn it will work 1 of 2 ways. #1 she will see that you are valued and try to pursue you as a status trophy or #2 it will turn her off you and you won't be lending her a cup of sugar any time soon.

So at the end of the day the decision is yours bro but I say go for gold it is just some chick at the end of the day plenty more out there and as far as like the co worker rule... pfft you are forced to see them for 8 hours a day 5 days a week or so unlike your neighbor that you pass in the hall once or twice a week for all of 5 seconds.
 

Scaramouche

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Dear Golden Arms,
Unless you really want to make an exclusive LTR out of this Bird,leave it alone...You will always feel you are under observation when you bring your Plates back home....If it goes Pear Shaped,she will glare at you when your paths cross,too many problems!
 

Golden Arms

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So that's one vote for "do whatever the hell you want", one vote for "dump her", both from down under :D

I haven't decided if I want to pursue anything serious w/ her. I'm inclined to bite the bullet and just keep things as they are, let's just hope I won't run into her if I'm w/ another girl.

3rd option may be to pursue all my other shagging options away from home.
 

Atom Smasher

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Golden Arms said:
Still, I can't help but feel apprehensive about potentially bringing another girl home (even a plutonic female friend) and accidentally bumping into her in the elevator or something.
Women from Pluto are so damn easy. They disgust me.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Stort_Brød

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Golden Arms said:
both from down under :D
Look I don't usually do this but I will let you in on some advanced Australian female tactics.... give her an australian kiss and she will be all over you.
 

VladPatton

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Do whatever the hell you want until you bang her. Afterwards, bring home chicks after 2 am lol.
 

Jitterbug

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I'm another man from down under who approves your lovin' of thy neighbour. I'm laying the pipe work on mine as well. Do whatever you want, there are too many rules of "you can't bang girls from blah blah" already.
 

Golden Arms

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VladPatton said:
Do whatever the hell you want until you bang her. Afterwards, bring home chicks after 2 am lol.
Already closed, kind of why i made the thread. After 2 seems excessive...
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Golden Arms

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Bumping this thread from November because now I think my next-door neighbor is itching to get stuffed.

Things with girl upstairs didn't progress much further than the one time we hooked up. Things afterwards were ok if a little weird.

So now this hot girl who lives next door keeps trying to hang out with me. We've been bumping into each other for two years but she was always with some guy, thought they lived together so I thought nothing of it. But lately he hasn't been around and last couple of times we bumped into each other she seems overtly friendly.

Last time we spoke was on the 4th of July, she ran into me and pretty much invited herself to whatever plans I had for that night and gave me her phone number. We didn't hang out that night but texted each other a few times and she strongly suggested that we get together for brunch or drinks soon. She also made it clear that she doesn't want to hang out in a social setting with other people but just us one on one.

Haven't talked to her since. Problem is I've got other plates like one girl I just recently started to see. Last thing I need is a situation where I can't bring girls home for fear of running into her. And this one lives right next door not upstairs.

I'm wondering if anyone else has similar experiences.
 

Ruleit

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So... she cheated on her BF one night in November when he pissed her off.
Then... she ignored you while he was working on her plumbing
Now... she's single again and her plumbing needs attention.

What to do... what to do...

Fix her plumbing. Plug her holes. Lay your pipes. Enjoy yourself.

You've given her too much of your mental real estate. Stop worrying about what she thinks or needs and take care of your own.

Don't "talk" just DO.

Do her, do your plates, do your life to your pleasure.

EDIT:

By NOT wanting to hang out in a social setting with you she is telling you that she wants you to be her fvck buddy. In other words being the typical female she is, she doesn't give a hoot about you, only herself.
 

Golden Arms

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Ruleit said:
So... she cheated on her BF one night in November when he pissed her off.
Then... she ignored you while he was working on her plumbing
Now... she's single again and her plumbing needs attention.

What to do... what to do...

Fix her plumbing. Plug her holes. Lay your pipes. Enjoy yourself.

You've given her too much of your mental real estate. Stop worrying about what she thinks or needs and take care of your own.

Don't "talk" just DO.

Do her, do your plates, do your life to your pleasure.

EDIT:

By NOT wanting to hang out in a social setting with you she is telling you that she wants you to be her fvck buddy. In other words being the typical female she is, she doesn't give a hoot about you, only herself.
What are you talking about ? Who cheated on her bf ? You sure you're in the right thread ?
 

Ruleit

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Golden Arms said:
Things with girl upstairs didn't progress much further than the one time we hooked up. Things afterwards were ok if a little weird.

So now this hot girl who lives next door keeps trying to hang out with me.
I read the two above being the same girl. If not, forget the cheating thing, rest of advice still applies.
 

Golden Arms

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Ruleit said:
I read the two above being the same girl. If not, forget the cheating thing, rest of advice still applies.
Oh no sorry, first post was about a girl upstairs . This is a different one, right next door (which seems like could cause a much bigger headache)
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Ruleit

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I have a personal policy of not sh!tting on my own doorstep.

If this is a new girl, is she from out of town? If she is, then its possible that she wants to use you as an emotional tampon / gay BFF until she sets up her own social circle.

When I was younger I wouldn't have thought twice. Would have jumped her without a thought of the consequences.

At the end of the day you need to do whatever you're comfortable with.
 

Golden Arms

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Ruleit said:
I have a personal policy of not sh!tting on my own doorstep.

If this is a new girl, is she from out of town? If she is, then its possible that she wants to use you as an emotional tampon / gay BFF until she sets up her own social circle.

When I was younger I wouldn't have thought twice. Would have jumped her without a thought of the consequences.

At the end of the day you need to do whatever you're comfortable with.
Not new, lived next door for a couple of years. But at first I thought she lived with a guy as some dude was always around. Now it appears that they've broken up.

Never even knew her name until last weekend. She was actually the one who initiated exchanging numbers and then texted later.

The policy of not ****ting on one's doorstep is definitely a solid one, one that makes logical sense. But dude....she's HOT ;) I'm really wondering if anyone's had a similar situation...
 

Ruleit

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You already know what you're going to do.
Give her what she wants.
Grow a thick skin and carry on working on your plate.
 

compleks

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Where do you live! I have zero attractive neighbours.

Probably for the best though...
 

Golden Arms

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MidnightCity said:
this should be enough for you not to care



men insist on projecting the characteristics of their sexuality onto women. just because you would feel betrayed if it was the other way around doesnt mean women would react the same.

in fact its quite the opposite.

when i used to live in an apartment complex before i met all my neighbors i would bring women home all the time. do you think the cute 20somethings that lived in the building would look at me and say

"there goes a gentle nice guy, maybe i can get his attention and he can come set up my computer for me one day"

or

"wow. he seems *interesting*. wouldnt mind getting to know him"

the only thing that women think when they know you have it takes to be intimate with other women is that you have some kind of value.

women want men that other women want to fukc


apples and oranges is my opinion on this. the only way this would be weird is if you make it weird. you should have a far more casual attitude about this.

ok you had sex with the cute neighbor. so what? the more lax about it you are the more she will be too and might even be willing to be available for future encounters with no strings and frills.

I would not feel betrayed in the least and I'm not projecting.

When I did it with the girl upstairs, nothing bad happened.

Bringing girls home, of course, isn't a problem. Bringing plates home and bumping into someone you're banging in the hallway right outside your door..could be.

My thing is, if I do it with the girl that lives next door, it's a bit too close for comfort. What if she gets attached and start spying me, listening on the other side of the wall to see if I have other company, f.e. and/or goes psycho on me ? I wouldn't even feel comfortable in my own home.

That's why most advise against it, I guess. But like someone else said above, I think I know what I'm going to do ;)
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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