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Hooked up with a Hot Girl a few weeks ago - Now Its Done!

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Reyaj

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This is just rant.. I met a girl from online 2 weeks ago... We had been texting sporadically (she isn't a good texter) and finally met for drinks. I did good, went back to her car, made a move and ended up making out hardcore and sucking her nto it... she randomly told me what a good kisser I was and even said "I want you" after a certain point. Neither of us were near our places and I thought if I would have said lets get a hotel room it would have killed the mood, but even more so I felt validated by what was transpiring I figured I didn't need to close the deal right there.... I ended up leaving feeling good though.... These kind of hook up with girls are what makes me feel alive!

So we played the texting game afterwards, I started by testing and she was responsive although the usual long inteverals in between... We were supposed to meet last Sunday but she flaked last minute with an excuse... she ended up saying she was free tonight and we had plans to meet some time in the evening. The problem was I was with my girl all day so i had to make it later... Anyway i texted her around 7:30pm trying to confirm the plans saying I could meet her somewhere at 9 and a short while later said I could also come out by her. She lives around 90 minutes from me mind you.... so I gave it an hour and no response from her... I felt another flake coming on so I texted her "I'm making other plans, I hope whatever situation you're in works out" Well she responded back a short while later with "um ok thanks" I responded back with "sorry I don't have time to play games" and that was that!

So even when you hook up with a girl you still have to do deal with this BS lol

I guess I should have tried to bang her when I had the chance oh well.
 

Wrenched

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Seemed to be going good until you told her that you don't have time for games. NEVER GET UPSET.... it deflates your position and gives full control over your emotions since she is the one who brought them out.
 

oldmanofthesea

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Couple tips for you:
1. Always strike while the iron is hot. If she says she wants you, make a move. If you THINK she wants you, make a move. I can't tell you how long it took me to learn this. You think it kills the move or is too forward or whatever but that just isn't the case. Worst she can say is, "Maybe another time," but she'll be flattered. This doesn't mean you should ask every girl to bed on the first date... I'm just saying to observe and act according to how you feel things are progressing.
2. When you sat plans with a girl, always make them concrete. Set an exact place and an exact time. You don't do that and she thinks YOU might flake, so she starts trying to make other plans while she waits for you to figure out wtf you are going to do. Meanwhile, she might make plans with girlfriends or family or another dude, any of which she may decide is more exciting than you so when you finally do get back to her, it's too late. Never make "sometime" "somewhere" plans, ever. It's the best way to get flaked.
3. Never proactive reach out to her once you change your mind and don't show anger like that or accuse her of things you don't know are true. Her dog could have been bit by a car and she was at the vet waiting to find out if the dog is ok. Obviously there is a slim chance of that, but SHE knows you don't know that and someone who makes assumptions about what a girl is doing and why is a major red flag. You should have not double texted her. After you txted her to confirm plans, once you didn't hear from her, you should have made plans with others or just hung out at home. If and when she finally texted you back, you should simply wait an hour or two, or until the next day and say, "Hey, ended up making other plans after I didn't hear from you. Have a great night" and leave it at that. Let her initiate amd ask to see you next and if she doesn't, them she never hears from you again. Simple.
 

Reyaj

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Seemed to be going good until you told her that you don't have time for games. NEVER GET UPSET.... it deflates your position and gives full control over your emotions since she is the one who brought them out.
I agree with this for the most part.. but I think you also have to have self respect... I basically kept a Saturday night free for her and it wasn't cool she kept me hanging. I let her know it.

Couple tips for you:
1. Always strike while the iron is hot. If she says she wants you, make a move. If you THINK she wants you, make a move. I can't tell you how long it took me to learn this. You think it kills the move or is too forward or whatever but that just isn't the case. Worst she can say is, "Maybe another time," but she'll be flattered. This doesn't mean you should ask every girl to bed on the first date... I'm just saying to observe and act according to how you feel things are progressing.
2. When you sat plans with a girl, always make them concrete. Set an exact place and an exact time. You don't do that and she thinks YOU might flake, so she starts trying to make other plans while she waits for you to figure out wtf you are going to do. Meanwhile, she might make plans with girlfriends or family or another dude, any of which she may decide is more exciting than you so when you finally do get back to her, it's too late. Never make "sometime" "somewhere" plans, ever. It's the best way to get flaked.
3. Never proactive reach out to her once you change your mind and don't show anger like that or accuse her of things you don't know are true. Her dog could have been bit by a car and she was at the vet waiting to find out if the dog is ok. Obviously there is a slim chance of that, but SHE knows you don't know that and someone who makes assumptions about what a girl is doing and why is a major red flag. You should have not double texted her. After you txted her to confirm plans, once you didn't hear from her, you should have made plans with others or just hung out at home. If and when she finally texted you back, you should simply wait an hour or two, or until the next day and say, "Hey, ended up making other plans after I didn't hear from you. Have a great night" and leave it at that. Let her initiate amd ask to see you next and if she doesn't, them she never hears from you again. Simple.
You sir are 110% correct on all 3 points. I definitely have learned that you need to strike when the iron is hot.. in retrospect I probably should have said "lets go somewhere.." but there's two reasons I didn't... 1.) I felt fulfilled with the making out, groping, tittie sucking 2.) I thought mentioning getting a hotel on a first meet would kill the mood and make her think less of me. I know that I shouldn't have thought this way about #2 but for some reason thoughts like this naturally come up.... I need to start just going for it and not caring right?

Regarding your second point about making plans concrete with a girl, you are so right!!! Unfortunately I'm in a precarious situation because I have a girl so I don't have the liberty to do that... I guess this is a good example of how having a relationship does inhibit your prospecting of other plates. I've had a similar situation happen before. Next time I'll do better at trying to make specific plans regardless... thank you for putting this back into perspective for me.

3. She flaked last week and I gave her the benefit of the doubt. You're right I shouldn't have even bothered texting her again and I was thinking this... but I have to admit I got irritated... she is about an hour away and I would have needed to leave soon so I just felt she was going to flake... but you are so right... I let me anger get the best of me which if you've read my prior threads I have a knack of doing..


Anyway guess what? She sent me a test this morning....


Her: Games? Do you not know how to make phone calls? You literally could have just called me before getting attitude I was waiting at home to hear from you. I'm not 16 I don't check my phone for a text every ten minutes. For some strange reason you think its appropriate to wait till 9 at night to see someone you met once wants to drive an hour away to drink when they have work the next morning, sorry you could have been a little more considerate of others. Take care :/

Me: You don't answer phone calls lol

Me: I took note of that already when I could never reach you and you even said that yourself. I didn't know you had work early the next day, we didn't have to drink either and I said I would come out your way.

Me: I thought you were inconsiderate not responding because of that drive I would make. You said you were fine with hanging out later you should have just told me you had work the next day.

Me: Can I ask you something and please be honest?

Her: Yes you may and of course I'll be honest

Me: Were you nervous to see me again?

Her: No not really I was looking forward to it


Anyway I haven't responded to her last text. What I wrote to her is 100% true... I tried several times in the past to call her and have a phone conversation and she never picked up nor called me back ever. Then she even said she wasn't a big phone person. I had no idea she had work today and she said hanging out later worked for her... I think she is trying to backwards rationalize what happend just like women do to be honest. I thought she may have been nervous about seeing me again since we hooked up pretty intensely the last time which is why I asked that.

Do you think this one is salvageable? If so what's your next move?
 

Medina

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The sporadic texting is a red flag for me and a sign of low interest on her part

She probably went on the date because hmm why not.... some girls have that attitude

But normally when I'm talking to a high-interest girl they text often, and reply immediately
 

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Wrenched

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I had the same thing happen when a girl I knew wanted me as her fall back plan. I wished her luck and said that I wouldn't ask her to wait on me if I remained undecided so I had no choice but to move on and wished her well. We've gone out a few times since but nothing ever came out of it
 

Reyaj

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The sporadic texting is a red flag for me and a sign of low interest on her part

She probably went on the date because hmm why not.... some girls have that attitude

But normally when I'm talking to a high-interest girl they text often, and reply immediately
She's been that way from the beginning before we met and I've follow suit. One thing I've learned is there's no absolutes in this game and texting habits differ between women. The fact that we were hooking up in her car for like a half hour, she moaned when I devoured her titty... told me what a good kisser I am and told me "I want you" I feel were some slight indicators of interest ;)
 

AttackFormation

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Dumped your girlfriend?
 

btownbuck2012

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Total overreaction on your part. When you make plans you don’t confirm beforehand. If she flakes then you take the loss and move on. I guarantee you she was going to go but your text revealed to her that you’re a guy who doesn’t “get it”, socially. Essentially you tried too hard to look too cool and revealed yourself as being the exact opposite. Also, making out isn’t hooking up. F*cking is hooking up. For who*es like the one you’re describing, making out with guys is the new “heres my phone number”. It doesn’t matter.
 

Reyaj

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Total overreaction on your part. When you make plans you don’t confirm beforehand. If she flakes then you take the loss and move on. I guarantee you she was going to go but your text revealed to her that you’re a guy who doesn’t “get it”, socially. Essentially you tried too hard to look too cool and revealed yourself as being the exact opposite. Also, making out isn’t hooking up. F*cking is hooking up. For who*es like the one you’re describing, making out with guys is the new “heres my phone number”. It doesn’t matter.
lol I nearly spit out my drink reading this reply. I can't say I disagree with you though. I didn't make definite plans because of my relationship situation but I now realize I'll need to be more specific in the future. We did a bit more than make out... I sucked her titties and groped her... but that probably falls in the same category as kissing these days lol - I should have gone for the lay that same night, just mention lets go somewhere and then try to figure out the hotel aspect of it. At the same time I feel fulfilled I was able to make out and run my mouth and tongue on her body. The reason I reacted like I did was because it was getting late, I felt she may flake and it was an hour drive see her so I thought she was being inconsiderate not responding.

But I agree with all the advice above.... I should have tried to bang her by asking her to go somewhere not caring or worrying that it would turn her off (Strike when the Iron is Hot.) I should have made definite plans... and I shouldn't have proactively reached out to her when I changed my mind to not wait for her response. I should have just responded back nonchalantly that I made other plans if she texted me... It was hard though because I was mad... I kept my Saturday night free for this... I guess its my fault for not making definite plans...


Anyway I have an update on this... I was hoping I would have gotten some responses with what my next move could be... but I didn't... I was debating whether I should reach back out... what I should text her etc... Well I decided to randomly call her yesterday around 7pm when I get done working out... She had never answered any of my previous calls which is why I never bothered calling her even the night we had plans.... Anyway I called and to my surprise she answered.... It was kind of an awkward conversation... she definitely isn't a phone person.... I made some small talk but felt like I was pushing the conversation.. I did get her to laugh once when I joked about the area she is going to be working in. I then brought up the texting over the weekend kind of laughing... I said something "we had some fun texting miscommunication over the weekend" She was like yes we did.. I told her texting is dangerous and causes a lot of this and she said she agreed. I said something like I wanted to see her this past weekend and she said something like "well we can try make other plans if you want" I said sure.. I know your schedule is hectic mine is too but we can figure something out. She then said this weekend she was busy and I said maybe in 2020 we could see each other which she giggled at.. Anyway a little after we hung up... I figured this was all awkward... so I sent her a picture of my dinner and she responded asking what it was and I asked what she made and she told me, she said she likes to cook and I told her that's a good quality...

So that was all last night.. I didn't text her today and neither did she... What should I do?
 

Reyaj

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Well since no one wants to lend any advice I'm going to play this one out myself and see where it goes.

I ended up texting her on Friday "Happy Friday!" She responded back with an emoji with a girl saying happy Friday... I said that emoji looked kind of like her lol And she responded back with thats the point haven't I heard of bitmoji before lol

Well I didn't respond till most of the day until later when I said "I hae but don't use it lol Its been a long day. We should talk on Monday and plan to see each other. She responded with oh lol yes I would like that

So thats where it stands.. I'm going to call her tomorrow evening and see if I can plan something... going to be hard with my situation.
 

Wrenched

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Well since no one wants to lend any advice I'm going to play this one out myself and see where it goes.

I ended up texting her on Friday "Happy Friday!" She responded back with an emoji with a girl saying happy Friday... I said that emoji looked kind of like her lol And she responded back with thats the point haven't I heard of bitmoji before lol

Well I didn't respond till most of the day until later when I said "I hae but don't use it lol Its been a long day. We should talk on Monday and plan to see each other. She responded with oh lol yes I would like that

So thats where it stands.. I'm going to call her tomorrow evening and see if I can plan something... going to be hard with my situation.
I seen a few people give advice
 

Reyaj

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So I called tonight but I really didn't want to talk to her... I was hoping she didn't answer and she didn't. I sent a follow up text saying "hey tried calling, let me know if you want to make plans Friday"

We'll see if I hear anything back tomorrow. If not I'll leave her with a parting text and move onto the next one
 

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jaymbrs

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All of this reeks of desperation. Texting and calling and then texting when she doesn't answer is going to creep her out. I personally think you've dug yourself in a hole you won't be able to get out of.
 

jnMissouri

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This is just rant.. I met a girl from online 2 weeks ago... We had been texting sporadically (she isn't a good texter) and finally met for drinks. I did good, went back to her car, made a move and ended up making out hardcore and sucking her nto it... she randomly told me what a good kisser I was and even said "I want you" after a certain point. Neither of us were near our places and I thought if I would have said lets get a hotel room it would have killed the mood, but even more so I felt validated by what was transpiring I figured I didn't need to close the deal right there.... I ended up leaving feeling good though.... These kind of hook up with girls are what makes me feel alive!

So we played the texting game afterwards, I started by testing and she was responsive although the usual long inteverals in between... We were supposed to meet last Sunday but she flaked last minute with an excuse... she ended up saying she was free tonight and we had plans to meet some time in the evening. The problem was I was with my girl all day so i had to make it later... Anyway i texted her around 7:30pm trying to confirm the plans saying I could meet her somewhere at 9 and a short while later said I could also come out by her. She lives around 90 minutes from me mind you.... so I gave it an hour and no response from her... I felt another flake coming on so I texted her "I'm making other plans, I hope whatever situation you're in works out" Well she responded back a short while later with "um ok thanks" I responded back with "sorry I don't have time to play games" and that was that!

So even when you hook up with a girl you still have to do deal with this BS lol

I guess I should have tried to bang her when I had the chance oh well.
You made out, not hooked up. You should have banged her then and there like you said. I went through this with a girl at work recently. Jerks are pushy. Be more pushy.
 

jnMissouri

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All of this reeks of desperation. Texting and calling and then texting when she doesn't answer is going to creep her out. I personally think you've dug yourself in a hole you won't be able to get out of.

Yeah, it seems like this is the ONE girl he has to focus on. Find another one. All you did was make out. You act like you were banging her for the past 6 months or something and were a couple.

I made out with 2 chics I was dating while having two different girlfriends I was not only sleeping with but in legit relationships with. When I stopped hearing from the two girls that I made out with, I moved on.

If this was some girl you had actually slept with for a few months and were in a relationship with, that's different. But this? You're being super clingy like you have no other options.
 

Reyaj

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All of this reeks of desperation. Texting and calling and then texting when she doesn't answer is going to creep her out. I personally think you've dug yourself in a hole you won't be able to get out of.
Calling/texting her last Monday and then my next text being that Friday reeks of desperation? If you say so lol

Yeah, it seems like this is the ONE girl he has to focus on. Find another one. All you did was make out. You act like you were banging her for the past 6 months or something and were a couple.

I made out with 2 chics I was dating while having two different girlfriends I was not only sleeping with but in legit relationships with. When I stopped hearing from the two girls that I made out with, I moved on.

If this was some girl you had actually slept with for a few months and were in a relationship with, that's different. But this? You're being super clingy like you have no other options.
We did a bit more than make out but point taken. Not sure how I'm being clingy though when we communicate days apart. I think you need to get out in the real world a bit more like many others on here.

Anyway this morning she texted me saying "Sorry I fell asleep last night, I am working all weekend :("

Now I obviously didn't take this as a good sign but I'm not one for playing games... i responded with I am also working on Friday but I meant after work :p

If she doesn't respond with anything positive I agree I should next her.
 

jnMissouri

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Calling/texting her last Monday and then my next text being that Friday reeks of desperation? If you say so lol



We did a bit more than make out but point taken. Not sure how I'm being clingy though when we communicate days apart. I think you need to get out in the real world a bit more like many others on here.

Anyway this morning she texted me saying "Sorry I fell asleep last night, I am working all weekend :("

Now I obviously didn't take this as a good sign but I'm not one for playing games... i responded with I am also working on Friday but I meant after work :p

If she doesn't respond with anything positive I agree I should next her.
You're clueless AF. You ARE being clingy. She isn't hanging out with you. If she was you wouldn't be on here chasing her and complaining you should have banged her when you had the chance.

I had two girlfriends/relationships at the same time (one ended a week ago) and I've dated many just recently WHILE I had the two gf's. I actually slept with these women. You went on ONE date and made out and are now trying to act like you were getting married and oh, "did more than just kiss". I have more real world experience that you will ever have bud. But go ahead and keep chasing the one girl you "had" for one date and try to tell me I need more real world when I had TWO actual gf's for 7 months (one of them 10 years) and am dating other women on top of that.
 
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