iqqi
Master Don Juan
This is taken from Blur of Insanity's website. click here to see.Love it! Read on...
THIS IS IT. THE ACTUAL FACTS. NO LIES.
We attempt to explain the horror of dating, love and boning.
WHAT IS THIS STUPID GAME?
Dating is something we must do. There really isn't a choice. Sometimes it can be fun. Most times not. It's uncomfortable and embarrassing, all at the same time. Will the other person like us? Will we like them? Is he right for me? Will she take her pants off?
Romance/Love/Dating/Sex is a thing we are driven to. We wouldn't be here if great-great-great-great Grandpa didn't get a boner from being with great-great-great-great Grandma. And we wouldn't be here if our parents weren't driven to 'do it' (a truly gruesome thought). The act of sex feels good for a reason. And that reason is so you will have kids. Who will have more kids - etc., etc., ad infinitum. That's it. Sex is just a lure to make you have children.
For this reason we'll put up with the completely annoying, uncomfortable act of dating. And it is unpleasant. Everyone has incredible expectations. True love usually. Someone who will completely understand us. An idea of total happiness and euphoria. These distorted (and wrong) expectations lead to the reality of relationships. Disappointment. Misery. Nasty, belittling remarks. Petty cruelty. Rejection. Long nights spent by the telephone - alone. Incomprehensible feelings of overwhelming emptiness. Alcoholism. Gay porn... and finally death.
Amazing! What was expected to be so good often turns out so horrible. So how did it get this messed up?
Love has always been brutal, but today the issue is confused to such a degree that is completely unlike any other time in history. We in general are bound to pick the wrong people. Psychologically we actually look for the wrong person. Most often we are looking for someone, not because we have something in common with them, but because we are so different from them! This is the 'opposites attract' idea - and it is a truly bad idea.
For most of human history there used to be an approach to dating. Adults used to take a hand in organizing this mess and kept the youth from doing the whole thing stupidly. They would have chaperoned parties. These were events so you could get to know the person you were interested in before it became a confused groping session where both parties end up (the next morning) too embarrassed to ever talk to each other again. They would also try to find you a 'date' who you might actually get along with as you got older.
Couples would then move slowly and steadily toward a relationship without getting emotionally butchered. There was this idea of 'courting' - and don't let television and 'seventeen' magazine fool you when they mock this approach - if you look into this you'll see it actually worked rather well. A good indicator is the divorce rate then... compared to now.
But adults today are utterly useless. Instead of taking responsibility and handling this, like, well... adults, they are all busy trying with all their might not to get old (look at Hugh Hefner for a scary reality check). "Adults' are much more concerned with being seen as young than with taking actual adult responsibility. It's pathetic.
A further problem today is that the whole idea of 'being with someone' has changed. It all used to be guided by the idea of getting married and having a stable home and kids. Well, apparently no one wants kids anymore and stability is seen as 'boring.' At this point we've pretty much become romance/sex addicts. We go after sex and love - we get it, then we realize the person we're with is someone we dislike, then we destroy the other person emotionally (or they do it to us), then we move on to do the same thing again to someone new.
You can argue with us, but we have seen the death toll of relationships among our friends and it is bad. We have been on the phone at two a.m. more times than we can count with some miserable person and their miserable relationship. They even know they've chosen the wrong person, but they couldn't help themselves. What is beautiful is that they make the wrong choice over and over and over. And with no guidance from the outside world except stupid magazines like 'Cosmopolitan' and TV Shows like Baywatch its no wonder people screw the whole thing up.
It's a nightmare.
Maybe we can look at the whole thing coldly, clearly and sanely.
DATING
This is the problem: you take two people who want different things from each other, things that don't often match and put them together - you are going to have trouble. Somehow you have to find a way to get along or you will both be miserable. Most of the problem comes from the fantasy ideas we have of how things should be when you get together with the opposite sex.
LIES
Some magazine articles will tell you that you can go out with anyone if you do the right things, wear the right clothes, use the right body language buy the right cologne with pheromones. Well, guess what? Those are just lies used to sell magazines. The truth is, if someone doesn't want to go out with you - they don't want to go out with you! Live with it. Someone who wants to go out with you will show VERY obvious signs. They will like talking with you. They will laugh at your retarded, badly executed jokes and childish behavior - they will see it all as 'attractive.' It is nowhere near as simple as buying a pair of designer jeans.
he main secret in all this is not to waste your time chasing people you probably aren't going to get. Honestly? You should really lower your standards a bit. If someone appears unattainable to you - they probably are. If you torture yourself you will only set yourself up for endless amounts of pain! Snap yourself out of it. Pick someone who you simply 'like' and find at least moderately attractive. Look for someone similar to you, with a similar background ideas, beliefs, etc. We know this sounds old-fashioned, but old fashioned usually worked.
EXPECTATIONS
We live in a time where we can see the most 'perfect' forms of people all the time on TV or in magazines. We are bombarded night and day with the ideal male/female. And let's not lie about this - you don't stack up against Pamela Anderson or Brad Pitt. You don't need to, but it is hard to get those images out of your head. If you can you will be much happier.
Accept that you are probably average looking and that you will date other average looking people. You'll be happier that way.
WHAT DO MEN WANT?
Well, the obvious answer (because it's true) is sex. And men will have sex with almost anyone or anything. Inanimate objects, farm animals, the family dog. Whatever.
Men will have sex with the ugliest women, as long as it's made very easy for them- and no one finds out about it. That is key. Men would really like to have sex without any commitment. Unfortunately for them they usually can't get away with it. So they are stuck trying to have relationships.
And as far as relationships go, they don't really mind them. And in some ways there is the hope that they will have a constant source of sex from someone they actually want to have sex with! So they want someone attractive who will make it easy for them to have sex.
But there is one more complication. If you are too available - otherwise known as 'easy' (a *****) - they think you must not be that valuable! The reason for this is, since a guy thinks you're easily available - you must not be so special. Yeah, this is sick... but it's true. The fact is, you have to tease guys along, making them do a little work for it - until they want a relationship. This is a pain in the ass, but there really is no way around it!
We said this was sick.
WHAT DO WOMEN WANT?
Relationships mostly. Women who want sex without a relationship are rare and you are unlikely to find any who like easy sex and still look somewhat human.
Women want sex too, but the relationship is generally key. What a woman actually wants, most of all, is an escort, someone who will look good with them and that they can be proud of. Remember, women played with dolls, and one of those dolls was Ken, and Ken was not around for sex. He was there to take Barbi places - he was there to 'play' boyfriend.
To a woman, a man is sort of an accessory, like a purse, or shoes. If you want them to want you, you have to be a worthy accessory. That is why women like men who are rich and/or powerful. These men can take women out in a style that matches their sick fantasies. It is important to know that fantasy plays a key role in women's minds. Practically speaking this means if you aren't tied in with parties, people, money and cars you aren't going to get the hottest looking female. Another fact of life - live with it.
THIS IS IT. THE ACTUAL FACTS. NO LIES.
We attempt to explain the horror of dating, love and boning.
WHAT IS THIS STUPID GAME?
Dating is something we must do. There really isn't a choice. Sometimes it can be fun. Most times not. It's uncomfortable and embarrassing, all at the same time. Will the other person like us? Will we like them? Is he right for me? Will she take her pants off?
Romance/Love/Dating/Sex is a thing we are driven to. We wouldn't be here if great-great-great-great Grandpa didn't get a boner from being with great-great-great-great Grandma. And we wouldn't be here if our parents weren't driven to 'do it' (a truly gruesome thought). The act of sex feels good for a reason. And that reason is so you will have kids. Who will have more kids - etc., etc., ad infinitum. That's it. Sex is just a lure to make you have children.
For this reason we'll put up with the completely annoying, uncomfortable act of dating. And it is unpleasant. Everyone has incredible expectations. True love usually. Someone who will completely understand us. An idea of total happiness and euphoria. These distorted (and wrong) expectations lead to the reality of relationships. Disappointment. Misery. Nasty, belittling remarks. Petty cruelty. Rejection. Long nights spent by the telephone - alone. Incomprehensible feelings of overwhelming emptiness. Alcoholism. Gay porn... and finally death.
Amazing! What was expected to be so good often turns out so horrible. So how did it get this messed up?
Love has always been brutal, but today the issue is confused to such a degree that is completely unlike any other time in history. We in general are bound to pick the wrong people. Psychologically we actually look for the wrong person. Most often we are looking for someone, not because we have something in common with them, but because we are so different from them! This is the 'opposites attract' idea - and it is a truly bad idea.
For most of human history there used to be an approach to dating. Adults used to take a hand in organizing this mess and kept the youth from doing the whole thing stupidly. They would have chaperoned parties. These were events so you could get to know the person you were interested in before it became a confused groping session where both parties end up (the next morning) too embarrassed to ever talk to each other again. They would also try to find you a 'date' who you might actually get along with as you got older.
Couples would then move slowly and steadily toward a relationship without getting emotionally butchered. There was this idea of 'courting' - and don't let television and 'seventeen' magazine fool you when they mock this approach - if you look into this you'll see it actually worked rather well. A good indicator is the divorce rate then... compared to now.
But adults today are utterly useless. Instead of taking responsibility and handling this, like, well... adults, they are all busy trying with all their might not to get old (look at Hugh Hefner for a scary reality check). "Adults' are much more concerned with being seen as young than with taking actual adult responsibility. It's pathetic.
A further problem today is that the whole idea of 'being with someone' has changed. It all used to be guided by the idea of getting married and having a stable home and kids. Well, apparently no one wants kids anymore and stability is seen as 'boring.' At this point we've pretty much become romance/sex addicts. We go after sex and love - we get it, then we realize the person we're with is someone we dislike, then we destroy the other person emotionally (or they do it to us), then we move on to do the same thing again to someone new.
You can argue with us, but we have seen the death toll of relationships among our friends and it is bad. We have been on the phone at two a.m. more times than we can count with some miserable person and their miserable relationship. They even know they've chosen the wrong person, but they couldn't help themselves. What is beautiful is that they make the wrong choice over and over and over. And with no guidance from the outside world except stupid magazines like 'Cosmopolitan' and TV Shows like Baywatch its no wonder people screw the whole thing up.
It's a nightmare.
Maybe we can look at the whole thing coldly, clearly and sanely.
DATING
This is the problem: you take two people who want different things from each other, things that don't often match and put them together - you are going to have trouble. Somehow you have to find a way to get along or you will both be miserable. Most of the problem comes from the fantasy ideas we have of how things should be when you get together with the opposite sex.
LIES
Some magazine articles will tell you that you can go out with anyone if you do the right things, wear the right clothes, use the right body language buy the right cologne with pheromones. Well, guess what? Those are just lies used to sell magazines. The truth is, if someone doesn't want to go out with you - they don't want to go out with you! Live with it. Someone who wants to go out with you will show VERY obvious signs. They will like talking with you. They will laugh at your retarded, badly executed jokes and childish behavior - they will see it all as 'attractive.' It is nowhere near as simple as buying a pair of designer jeans.
he main secret in all this is not to waste your time chasing people you probably aren't going to get. Honestly? You should really lower your standards a bit. If someone appears unattainable to you - they probably are. If you torture yourself you will only set yourself up for endless amounts of pain! Snap yourself out of it. Pick someone who you simply 'like' and find at least moderately attractive. Look for someone similar to you, with a similar background ideas, beliefs, etc. We know this sounds old-fashioned, but old fashioned usually worked.
EXPECTATIONS
We live in a time where we can see the most 'perfect' forms of people all the time on TV or in magazines. We are bombarded night and day with the ideal male/female. And let's not lie about this - you don't stack up against Pamela Anderson or Brad Pitt. You don't need to, but it is hard to get those images out of your head. If you can you will be much happier.
Accept that you are probably average looking and that you will date other average looking people. You'll be happier that way.
WHAT DO MEN WANT?
Well, the obvious answer (because it's true) is sex. And men will have sex with almost anyone or anything. Inanimate objects, farm animals, the family dog. Whatever.
Men will have sex with the ugliest women, as long as it's made very easy for them- and no one finds out about it. That is key. Men would really like to have sex without any commitment. Unfortunately for them they usually can't get away with it. So they are stuck trying to have relationships.
And as far as relationships go, they don't really mind them. And in some ways there is the hope that they will have a constant source of sex from someone they actually want to have sex with! So they want someone attractive who will make it easy for them to have sex.
But there is one more complication. If you are too available - otherwise known as 'easy' (a *****) - they think you must not be that valuable! The reason for this is, since a guy thinks you're easily available - you must not be so special. Yeah, this is sick... but it's true. The fact is, you have to tease guys along, making them do a little work for it - until they want a relationship. This is a pain in the ass, but there really is no way around it!
We said this was sick.
WHAT DO WOMEN WANT?
Relationships mostly. Women who want sex without a relationship are rare and you are unlikely to find any who like easy sex and still look somewhat human.
Women want sex too, but the relationship is generally key. What a woman actually wants, most of all, is an escort, someone who will look good with them and that they can be proud of. Remember, women played with dolls, and one of those dolls was Ken, and Ken was not around for sex. He was there to take Barbi places - he was there to 'play' boyfriend.
To a woman, a man is sort of an accessory, like a purse, or shoes. If you want them to want you, you have to be a worthy accessory. That is why women like men who are rich and/or powerful. These men can take women out in a style that matches their sick fantasies. It is important to know that fantasy plays a key role in women's minds. Practically speaking this means if you aren't tied in with parties, people, money and cars you aren't going to get the hottest looking female. Another fact of life - live with it.
