"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Holy **** I messed up bad this time

A$AP_Broccoli

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Hello fellow DJs.
Around girls I don't really care about I got my **** together big time.
BUT THIS ONE GIRL! (afc voice)
We all had it. The problem of the "special one". I got a special girl every 10-12 months and I always screw it up real hard.

This time it's the same girl just 10 moths later.

We met last year. She had just broken up with her ex of 3 years. At a party of friends of ours. We played the phone game. Got along really well and at another party I was sitting on a bar stool leaning back on the bar and she was standing in front of me she started to tell me all this stuff about "I'm still in love with my ex. It's to quick for me. I really like you as a person that I value. I don't want to ruin the friendship we've build". I simply replied with "I understand what you're saying, but for the last 5 minutes I was busy watching your sexy lips and I am now going to kiss you". I grabbed her and kissed her. Really good kissing for 40 minutes straight all over the club. She had a emotional breakdown and cried about the guilt. We separated for a couple of weeks (because I had a crush and she pulled away) and after that we became really close friends. I mean I talked to her like I talk to dudes. What I didn't realize was that she was getting more and more attracted to me because we talked about everything (my other girls) and I viewed her as a little sister. This went almost 8 months. Fast forward 4 weeks ago: I'm at a party making out with a friend we both know. The next day she calls me full of anger.
Short:
She "HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?"
Me "Girl, why are you making a scene? After you told me half a year ago there is no chance in hell we would even kiss again and telling me over and over that we are best buddies?"
She "You are right."

A week later we are at her place watching a movie and she starts to cuddle with me. In my mind I was like "Huh, I guess we are cuddling like brother and sister". No attraction what so ever. All of a sudden she starts kissing me. I move back and tell her "What are you doing? We are friends right?" She is totally embarrassed and we laugh about it. Couple of days later same situation. Now we kiss. We get really into it. We have sex. I get a crush on her again. Start acting moody, jealous and needy. She tells me things like "You are so complicated and it's just not cool with you. But please lets stay best buddies." I tell her "Ok." After that I make another desperate night message full of jelly and low confidence. She tells me she needs some space. We are no friends right now and so on. Ok, so I am the ****ed up AFC again. She messaged me twice. One time she just stopped in the middle of the conversation. The other time she wanted to meet me (with friends) and flaked. Now I get this convo after a week of ignoring her:
She "Dude are you still alive??"
Me "Sure"
She ":|"
Me ":|?"
She "It's just like you disappeared or something"
Me "I've done a lot of thinking"
Me "And leave you alone" (I know this was weak and hate it)
She "Okay"

That's it. No contact anymore. Please tell me how horrible I acted and open my eyes that there is no chance in hell to get her back, because I am still all over this girl and at the same time I hate her. I got 2 other girls chasing me and all I can think about is this girl.

I Know this is a pretty long post, but I'm at my worst. I initiated the contact 8 moths ago after I fell for her and I am not willing to be the nice weak chump to do so again, especially when she is treating me in convos like I am a dog after she told me we are "best friends".

Open my ****ing eyes!
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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TheSplat

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You can still get her back, if you really want her. I'm not going to lie, she sounds crazy.

Keep up with the no contact, put her back in the friends zone, and really think about whether you want that much drama in your life.
 

A$AP_Broccoli

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Thing is I know I can have her back. But when I can I'll have no respect for her because she treated me like ****. She treated a close friend like ****. That's a rule you don't break in my world. From "we're still chillen when we're 80" to "I don't even care if a text convo is nice" is no way to treat someone. I've done horrible things to (needy and rude things) but no ****ing way I will ever view her the same. Some good articles on loosing a girl that used to be your best and closest buddy over sex and being a wimp after?
 

El Payaso

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Ah, I had a situation like this once. Best thing I can recommend is to not talk to her again and just meet other girls.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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SeymourCake

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There are no "special girls". The only special girls in your life should be your mother, grandmothers, sisters, sister-cousins, aunts and your daughter(s).

Everyone else gets knocked off the pedestal. Treat them all the same.
 
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