Holding on?

[Hockey Playa]

This quetion came to me recently , becauase i was wondering why im still not over my 3 month relationship. I know 3 months right? no big deal, something was different about this one, i know it sounds like one-itis but she was different. I dunno if it was the shock of the dumpage, or the fact she alrdy moved on (25 days). Ive read 100's of advice articles on this site, getting over one-itis, self improving, etc. I feel good at times, but at times its like it was the day after and i go absolutely ballistic. Ive turned this into a slightly postive thing by going to the gym alot more often, and cutting tv and video games out of my life. The question why im still enraged at the slight mention of her name really got me wondering. I know part of the reason is i still may have feelings for her. Is it possible that sub-consciously I like to feel the pain, and thats why i still have her on my msn etc. Maybe im afraid ill lose my new found ambition, if i get over her, anything like this ever happen to one of u? U need the pain in your life, to push you?

 

[##17]

The big question is how and why you broke up. Sounds like it really wasn't your decision, otherwise you'd move on faster.

 

[jigga23]

hey man best advice figure out a way to be a d!ck to her or a challenge they love that stuff but only if you want her back if not then just go find someone else

 

[Hockey Playa]

how should i be a **** to her

 

[resilient]

indifference is key

Play the card of indifference. Act as if the break up hasn't affected you until you truely get over any feelings you still have left for her. I'm at your 3 month mark with mine and it hasn't been easy either, but you have to force yourself to be as up beat as possible until the pain no longer affects you. It's all in the mindset.

Block her sn/email/delete phone#/myspace any trace you have of her until you've moved on completely. You can't be left wondering what's she up to, because if you do you won't get over her and also realize she's most likely with a new dude right now as well. No need to be a **** or whatever anyone else says just walk away smooth ignoring her, it will bug her that she can't have you back or have you still feeling anything towards her bad or good. Indifference my friend.

I like what someone else said on the board said: "If 'just walk away' doesn't work, then 'stop caring' until you make it." Hang out with your buddies often too , go get a beer or do something fun with them. They'll help you get her mind off you and make you laugh and smile more.

Other positive things to try:

1) lift weights
2) eat healthier (take up cooking)
3) focus on career
4) new stylish clothes
5) haircut
6) tan
7) take up a new hobby you've been putting off.

Those are 7 things not involving women. :woo:

 

[Hockey Playa]

thanx man ive been doing almost everything on your list, still the thought of her making out with someone else makes me want to punch a hole in the wall, whatever though ill get over it

 

[neonlandmine]

Go out and sleep with 10 smarter, funnier, better looking women.

 

[Ilovemesomeme]

Dude,

I am going through the same exact thing. I just dated a beautiful hispanic (I got a thing for the Latin Mommies) girl for 3 months, and she dumped me. Bascially because I went from a confident, ****y, funny guy to a AFC. I am hurting like hell. The fact that we are both devout Christians made me let my guard down. I won't do that again. The thing that really blows is I have to see her in church every Sunday. Plus I always get wind of what she is doing.

I do agree with resilent we have to get rid of all traces of her. Stop asking about her, and most importantly act indifferent. This will do two things. Either she will come back, or you will be so used to acting like you don't care you be over her. If you look at it that way you can't lose. Its not easy, but necessary if you want to move on.

Its funny, in every experience I was dumped or the women wasn't interested. The minute they got wind I was dating someone else, or I moved on they showed interest. In fact I had a women who said she just liked me as a friend. I said O.K. dated a hot Columbian chick a week later, and she was crying to her friends for months (yes months, not weeks) regretting she didn't want to date me. Woman are strange creatures. They are competative, jealous, and want what they can't have.
With that said its no lock being indifferent and moving on is going to win her back. Heck she could be with someone right now and we could be just an afterthought, but if she is to come back, moving on is the only chance you have. Groveling, confessing your love, telling her you miss her is the kiss of death. You can book that!