Holding off on sex

[logic1]

How would you look in the eyes of a very interested woman (high interest level) by rejecting her advances for sex in the first 2-3 dates.

Would this make a statement about yourself in a negative or positive way?

Would the women think there is something wrong with you or just make yourself more intiguing or challenging to her?

Would she start to pursue harder? Think their is something wrong with her?

35-40 year old range

Opinions?

 

[joekerr31]

it would probably start to make her worry that you see her as a sl*t.

or she might think that you've got a small d*ck or that you have erectile issues.

if shes trying to bed you in the first 3 dates, odds are she has done the same with various men in the past - and odds are they all jumped at the chance.

while its nice to think that she may be thinking 'wow, this guy isn't like all the rest', truth of the matter is that shes probably thinking 'why the h*ll doesn't this guy want to f*ck me?!"

if she's still got high interest in you close the deal next time you see her or you risk her interest level dropping out.

all this is based on the fact that you don't have some reason for not sleeping with her - ie. your very religious or something.

if she weren't making strong advances waiting is fine because such a woman would not be thinking 'whats wrong with him?", but rather would simply be enjoying getting to know you pressure free.

but with this woman its pretty clear shes been around the block and knows what she wants - as such she's not going to understand your hesitancy and will assume something is wrong with you for not jumping her bones like 98% of other guys would.

 

[joekerr31]

oh one other piece of advice.

regardless of outcome always do what YOU want to do. if you don't want to bang this chic then don't. make her wait. if you lose her, so what, she wasn't what you were looking for in the first place then.

if you want to get laid, then stop playing hard to get and get laid.

 

[logic1]

Understand your advice.

I have always had bad luck with women who where in your bed in the first couple of dates.

They never seem to be LTR material. I assume let nature take its course. And let the chips fall where they fall.

 

[joekerr31]

i agree with you. everyone on here talks about if she doesn't sleep with you on the second date then toss her.

and yet, every woman i've slept with quickly turned out to be a nutjob of some sort.

the quality ones were the ones where i first developed a relationship then got the sex going.

 

[Phyzzle]

I find it charming when a woman obviously wants to jump me on the 1st date, but has LMR and forces herself to hold off for a while. It means she actually cares what I think, which means damn high interest from the start.

 

[Mr.Positive]

the quality ones were the ones where i first developed a relationship then got the sex going.

That's the thing though, I've learned there is no relationship with women, without sex. Without sex, you are just 'dating' her. She hasn't invested anything into you yet for there to be a relationship.

Back when I was a hopeless AFC, I was tossed aside from women that I 'had a relationship with', but didn't have sex with, like it was no big deal. However, if I had sex with a gal, she never tossed me aside like I was nothing. There was always a breakup process at least...because she invested in me.

Her actions, having sex with me, showed me her interest level. It was her way of saying, without words, that she wanted to be with me.

Of course, this doesn't apply for s!uts, but I view sex as a relationship tryout...to see if we are compatible together.

I think it was Vulpine that had great advise when he said there is no relationship without sex, and that sex wasn't a bargaining tool, or a reward, but a part of the relationship. Therefore, without the sex, there is "no relationship", end of story.