"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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holding back, feigning disinterest, ten?

jimjam

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Gentlemen:

I ask for your valued opinions on three topics.

First of all, I'm 41, and back into this after a protracted absence. I never had much luck with women, but after reading some of these posts and articles, I'm beginning to realize some things.

One. I once took a woman out on a Friday night I was dressed up, she was dressed up....low cut blouse, heels, the whole bit...we went to dinner and a show. We were flirting like crazy and had a great time. She invites me in as I'm dropping her off. I did have to get up early, and having my head in my acc, I told her that I should go home. She looked disappointed and I felt like a total idiot as I drove home, undeserving of women. Another one bites the dust..
Once I'm home, the phone starts ringing. It's her telling me that she's totally attracted to me and s he wants to know if I feel the same way about her. Wow! I thought it was money in the bank....but I think now I made the right move. A mixed messages thing...
Your thoughts?

Two. I was always shy around women and never spoke to them. Yet, they always seemed interested in me. Could my shyness have been mistaken for cool indifference?

Finally, what makes a ten? Can you provide any examples from popular culture?

Thank you as always. I appreciate it. Feel free to let me know if you need any more details....
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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LorenzoVonM

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jimjam said:
One. I once took a woman out on a Friday night I was dressed up, she was dressed up....low cut blouse, heels, the whole bit...we went to dinner and a show. We were flirting like crazy and had a great time. She invites me in as I'm dropping her off. I did have to get up early, and having my head in my acc, I told her that I should go home. She looked disappointed and I felt like a total idiot as I drove home, undeserving of women. Another one bites the dust..
Once I'm home, the phone starts ringing. It's her telling me that she's totally attracted to me and s he wants to know if I feel the same way about her. Wow! I thought it was money in the bank....but I think now I made the right move. A mixed messages thing...
Your thoughts?
This really could have gone either way. A girl inviting you into her home after a date is her covert way of saying you are gonna get some action. Since girls don't take rejection very well this could have soured herself on you. In turns out she was so attracted that she had to call. She really likes you. Won't always go this way. My advice is next time a woman invites you in, go.

jimjam said:
Two. I was always shy around women and never spoke to them. Yet, they always seemed interested in me. Could my shyness have been mistaken for cool indifference?
Sure, its possible. The whole mysterious thing. I'm guessing you are reasonably attractive.

jimjam said:
Finally, what makes a ten? Can you provide any examples from popular culture?
Thats entirely up to you as its a subjective thing. Think of all the things you value in a woman. If she's got them all then she is a 10.
 

TheException

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1.)I have no problem with your rejecting her proposal actually. You got work and your a focused guy....no big deal. I would have however...cashed in and set up date number two. "I cant tonight, but what day you free this week? You can come over for dinner and drinks."

2.)No

3.)I dont judge on a scale 1-10. Its just either "Id bang her" or "I Wouldnt bang her".
 

VladPatton

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She called you in spite of not coming in, so that, I think, is huge. This chick has interest, is pursuing, and she made is clear. Try not to fück it up, man. Be cool, don't become eager, take it slowly and naturally. Forget about ratings, just make moves for whatever female piques your interest.

Good luck, and keep us updated.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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cordoncordon

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What happened to the girl you didnt go inside with? Did you ever see her again?
 

Trump

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jimjam said:
Gentlemen:

I ask for your valued opinions on three topics.

First of all, I'm 41, and back into this after a protracted absence. I never had much luck with women, but after reading some of these posts and articles, I'm beginning to realize some things.

One. I once took a woman out on a Friday night I was dressed up, she was dressed up....low cut blouse, heels, the whole bit...we went to dinner and a show. We were flirting like crazy and had a great time. She invites me in as I'm dropping her off. I did have to get up early, and having my head in my acc, I told her that I should go home. She looked disappointed and I felt like a total idiot as I drove home, undeserving of women. Another one bites the dust..
Once I'm home, the phone starts ringing. It's her telling me that she's totally attracted to me and s he wants to know if I feel the same way about her. Wow! I thought it was money in the bank....but I think now I made the right move. A mixed messages thing...
Your thoughts?
I don't know bro, I would sacrifice a few hours sleep to get it on. Sounds like you weren't attracted to her.

Two. I was always shy around women and never spoke to them. Yet, they always seemed interested in me. Could my shyness have been mistaken for cool indifference?
Perhaps, but you got to do something with it. You are 41.

Finally, what makes a ten? Can you provide any examples from popular culture?
Asking this question as your age? Come on bro, you should be a grandfather by now.
 

jimjam

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Did I see her again? She wound up being my son's mother. We''ve since split up. Yeah..... I was trying to gain some insight into whether at the time I made the right move or not and applying to what I'm trying to accomplish now.

I find myself where I am now after a bad marriage and a string of bad relationships. I've had enough vs to last a lifetime. I know all about what to do wrong. Time to start doing it right. It's later than you think.

As far as being 41, see above. I've always been late getting started...
 
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