There's nothing that make you look as boring as having no hobbies or never talk about them if you have one. But wouldn't some hobbies make you look even more boring, like if you collect stamps or play with steam machines? Which hobbies is good to have to make you more interesting to women? Is mountainbiking and photography two interesting hobbies? Mostly, when women hear that I'm into cycling, they start make excuses to why they don't work out themselves, and it makes them even more conscious about their bodies. This is not the desired effect, right?
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Hobbies
- Thread starter Lambda
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I wouldn't really care about the excuses. Try and make her qualify herself to you. If you work out and she doesn't than you automatically have more attraction going on because you establish that you are slightly better than her. All humans want a mate that is better than they are. Who wants to settle for average when you can get the best?
Or just offer to have her work out with you. Set up a date like that. I mean dont go lifting weights with her, but if there is a large body of water or a park you can run/walk through it with her. Then make your move when your resting behind a bush
WC2
Master Don Juan
So you're asking us what hobbies you should assume? That my friend, is not desirable to anyone.Lambda said:
Think of all the 'desirable' men you know. Now tell me, did they assume their hobbies or habits because they though others would like them more?
Of course not.
Desirable people assume hobbies they want to pursue and live them to the fullest. The last thought in their mind is what 'others' will think of when they pursue that certain hobby.
For example, I'm a senior in college and I enjoy to write. Now if you were to look on a list of 'attractive' hobbies to have at a young age in life, I guarantee writing would not even make the top 100. However, I have no problem getting the shallowest of people interested in what I do and who I am; women included-- in fact all women I have met take a great interest in my writing.
Why? Because it's not 'hobbies' that are desirable, but the PEOPLE THEY ARE who are desirable. People who have skills and hone them to what they want to do are the ones who others take interest in.
In short, find a hobby that is desirable to you, not to others.
#41
Senior Don Juan
Of course, also be aware that there are certain hobbies that are desirable to no one without a Y chromosome. Hobbies involving Star Trek, Dungeons and Dragons, and comic books come immediately to mind.WC2 said:
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
WC2
Master Don Juan
Right on. It hurts to see grown men reading anime comics.#41 said:Of course, also be aware that there are certain hobbies that are desirable to no one without a Y chromosome. Hobbies involving Star Trek, Dungeons and Dragons, and comic books come immediately to mind.
This isn't good advice. As long as you don't act ashamed of your hobbies it doesn't matter what you are interested in. Several years ago I was really into Dungeons and Dragons and I talked about it with a lot of enthusiasm. The girl I was dating was still interested in that because I was interested in it. Before me she had never had an interest in it and thought it was incredibly nerdy, but my unashamed interest in it made it interesting to her.#41 said:Of course, also be aware that there are certain hobbies that are desirable to no one without a Y chromosome. Hobbies involving Star Trek, Dungeons and Dragons, and comic books come immediately to mind.
As long as you can be proud of your hobbies and not care what others think about them it doesn't really matter what your hobbies are. Lots of people like Star Trek, Dungeons and Dragons, Comic Books and many other "nerdy" hobbies. Those people can get girls just as well as any other guy.
If you think otherwise than the problem is in yourself and not being confident in the hobbies you have, not the girls.
I'd have to disagree with that for 2 reasons.Lambda said:
#1
She is running for the hills because she wasn't interested in you yet to begin with. I don't try to get a girl interested into any of my hobbies until she is showing interest in me regardless of how cool or nerdy the hobby may generally be perceived as.
#2
Saying it like that does not display much enthusiasm. I don't really know a whole lot about WoW personally, but when talking about something like that, tell the qualities of the game you enjoy, why it takes up your time. Isn't there a social aspect to the game? Talk about that.
There is a way to talk about any hobby that will keep them from "running for the hills."
From your example I could substitute in any hobby with WoW and it wouldn't sound very appealing. "I spent four hours playing soccer yesterday and I finally got to play forward like I wanted and scored a goal for our team."
That doesn't explain anything about why you like soccer, it doesn't convey much enthusiasm, and isn't going to spark much interest in others because you did a poor job of getting them to see the excitement that you see.
#41
Senior Don Juan
Sure you can pick up women and still be into nerdy things -- but if the OP's question was revolving around getting into good hobbies that can help him have a more rounded life when talking with women, those are all poor choices.Cashew said:
I've yet to meet a woman excited to talk about starships and phasers on a first date, no matter how enthusiastic you are for the topic -- and I'd probably run away quickly if I ever did find one.
If you've got other stuff going on -- sure, you can get away with being a little nerdy. But, you better have some hobbies and things women can relate to as well.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Dannyrt34
Master Don Juan
So what if you are into nerdy hobbies? Talking about it with enthusiasm is one thing, but no matter what your hobby is, if you talk about it using the right words, anybody can be interested. For example, I'm obsessed with Call of Duty 4. I was once out with a chick and was telling her about my game. She even laughed at one point, and I told her with a straight face "Look Rachel, this is no laughing matter. There is a war going on and somebody has to fight this battle."
Anyway, we dated for quite a while and I never had any issues with her about my hobbies, even if they are nerdy. Just talk about them in a fun way so their fun for the listener too.
Anyway, we dated for quite a while and I never had any issues with her about my hobbies, even if they are nerdy. Just talk about them in a fun way so their fun for the listener too.
They're out there, and yes, it's a tad creepy.
i really think it depends on the chick's interest in you, and ability to comprehend your fascination as well as your ability to convey your interest in said hobby.
Especially when it deals with Sci-fi or to a lesser degree, Anime, which are a little more... shall we say diverse from the common conformist.
See, i've been to some of those conventions, those people LOVE their hobbies and won't change for anyone. i could write a report on the subject!
I will say this though, in the 4-5 times i've gone to Sci-fi/anime conventions, i've had people staring at me for approaching, Then again approaching Sailor Jupiter and commenting on the quality of her attire is a bit of a sight for anybody.
And i never did get the image of the entire cast of DragonBall Z sitting to dinner at Swiss Chalet out of my head either.
Suffice it to say, hobbies should NOT engulf your life, but they should improve your happiness. And hey, you could always take up rock climbing
P.S. No i didn't dress up as Picard or Kirk or whoever, i actually went as Max Payne since i happen to have his attire from the first game. easiest way to get out of wearing a costume