Hmm to ask out or not...

[Mando]

I have 6 tickets to the fair tonight...I can get 2 of my friends to go for sure probably, and theres this one girl I wanna ask but I'm not sure how she'll react...here's the story:

Girl was in my math class last year, we were hitting it off pretty well, always flirting with each other etc. I tried to make a move but wasn't agressive enough(never picked a time to go see the movie we talked about because both times I asked she had dance shows at school). Once summer started we were talking for about the first week, then she didn't respond to a couple of my texts, so I figured I'm done so I nexted her. One day the next month my friend gets the great idea to text everyone on my phone saying "Hey whatsup?" and she responded and we had a nice short convo, I was an idiot and told her my friends and I were going to a haunted house the next night, and that she should come(she kept asking me to go with her during the year but like I said, never got a day picked). She said she wasn't sure but she'd let me know(BS excuse), end up calling monday and she says she has to babysit(BS excuse again). So I text her again the next week, no response, so I had enough and just deleted her off myspace. So last week I went to my highschools football game to watch my best friend play, she is a cheerleader so she was there. For some reason after the game she was alone even though her friends were there, I think they're mad at each other or something. But I thought it'd be weird if I just went up to her there, so I send her a text telling her "Hey I saw you at the game" and we talked a bit surprisingly, and then we talked a couple of other times this week.

Now I'm not sure if I want to ask her because a. it might look desperate and b. if she says no I'm pretty much for sure screwed. I'm going to the football game next week and she told me to say hi if I'm there, so idk if I should wait it out or use the tickets. They expire tonight. Thoughts?

Note:This girl is kinda ****y sometimes with who she goes out with since she KNOWS she could get almost any guy without even trying, so thats why when I gave off the impression that idc and I can just go talk to another girl and wasn't putting her on a pedastool, she started to like me.

Thanks in advance.

 

[Mando]

Bump, anyone?

I probably need to ask within the next 2 hours if I do...

 

[Igetit!]

Well,if you do decide to ask her out,you'll have to be AGRESSIVE about it.


None of that,"Umm...excuse me...I...I was just wondering if...if you'd like to go to the fair with me tonight...if you're not too busy or anything.


You've already made that mistake of not being agressive enough.



Since you've already displayed a soft,passiveness towards her,that may come to her mind again when you ask her out.


The fact that she's given you all those lame "I'm not sure" and "I'll let you know" excuses means that she's trying to let you down gently without hurting you.



When a girl gets into the mode of trying "not to hurt you",that means YOU screwed up somewhere in a prior interaction with her.



So if you do ask her out,you'll need to come blasting out of the gate.



The only bad part about this is that because of the way you've approached her in the past,you'll run the risk of coming off as being incongruent.



But you know what? Who cares.



Go for it. The tickets expire tonight,so who cares what happens.




Call her up and TELL HER you have an extra ticket for the fair,and YOU WANT her to come with you.



Be like,"Me and some of my friends are going to the fair tonight,and I have an extra ticket,and I WANT you to come WITH ME.


Yes,say "I WANT".


You have to exude some power,some masculinity,some "see what you want and go for it"-ness with her.



You have to go all out now because of the tickets expiring tonight,and because of the lack of agressiveness you've show her in the past.



Good luck man.

 

[Mando]

Thanks bro, exactly what I was thinking about the agressiveness part.

Should I just say that straight up, or should I ask what shes upto tonight first?

Also, would it be better to go 1 on 1 or bring my friend and his gf?

 

[Igetit!]

Thanks bro, exactly what I was thinking about the agressiveness part.

Should I just say that straight up, or should I ask what shes upto tonight first?

Also, call or text?

DO NOT TEXT HER.



Women are emotional. You want her to "FEEL" emotions when you contact her generated by the sound and tone of your voice,and not only that,but by the emotion YOU'RE FEELING while you're speaking to her.


That can't be conveyed through a text message.


When I say be agressive,I mean AGRESSIVE.

You don't have a choice now.

Should I just say that straight up...

YES.


Don't try to water it down with more "nice guy"ness.
That's probably what got you into this situation in the first place.


And don't ask her if she has anything planned.



Call her up and ask her out EXACTLY like I suggested. And if she tells you she already has plans,tell her to break them.


Just say,"Oh,so you're going to such and such place? So? Cancel.
Come to the fair with me".


Do you think saying something like that might piss her off or offend her?

GOOD!!!


That's what you should go for.

Doesn't make any sense,does it?


You HAVE TO get her out of this mode of "trying not to hurt you".

In fact,you'd be better off if she just said straight up "NO",then giving you all that "I'm not sure" and "I'll let you know" crap.


Just agressively lay it out on the line man.


Time is against you here,so at this point,it really doesn't matter.


.

 

[Waking Up]

I agree with what the above poster said. I had a one night stand a couple of weeks ago because I played it off pretty alpha with this girl on the first night. A few days later I called her and she didn't answer, and then texted her (mistake) because she was in town and I wanted to see what she was doing. I made plans with her to chill. Later on after work she texts me and is like "sup" and I told her to come meet me at the park through the text. She made up an excuse and said "I don't think I'll be able to hang out, I have to mountain bike tomorrow early " and she put the frown face afterward. I was like ****, here she is in let me down gently pity mode. My immediate reaction "NEXT!" Haha because I always feel like if the girl puts a frown to make it seem better than it is you're ****ed. So weird too because I was so dominant when we had our one night stand, but hey, feelings can change and I guess I wasn't direct enough and the texting ****ed it all up.

So yeah, call her, get straight to the point, even be a little mean and commanding if you have to.

 

[Mando]

I see...tell me how this sounds.

"Hello?"
"Hey, some of my friends and I are going to the fair tonight, I have a spare ticket and I want you to go with me."

then whatever happens from there happens, if she says she has plans I'll probably just say something like "Haha alright, you're gonna be missing out on a lot of fun." but that might not work, so I might just end up using what you said. ahh I hate getting pre-call anxiety >_<.

What if she doesn't answer, voicemail?

 

[moneyisking]

ok... sir i see a big big problem with you regarding your method...

WHY THE FVCK ARE YOU ASKING HER????

let me tell you. DO NOT ASK. TELL HER.
"hey you want to go watch movie with me tonight??"--- NONONONONONO
"hey, let's go watch movie tonight, you'll have fun!"--- YES YES YES

"hey you want to go to haunted house???" nonononono
"hey let's go to the haunted house. i remember you wanted to go last semester. but you can't grab on to me too much" yes yes yes

ok, do not ASK girls. TELL her.

secondly... you gave her MORE THAN 2 STRIKES.
theres this thing called 2 strike rules. you invite her to chill with you,
she says no, then give her another chance, call her some other time and
ask her to chill out, she says no again, then NEXT!

she is done. if you want to keep your dignity and mind as a DJ, then you better NEXT her. if you knew she was giving BS excuse for hanging out with you, you should have realized she is not that interested.
KEEP THE 2STRIKE RULES!!!

 

[Igetit!]

I see...tell me how this sounds.

"Hello?"
"Hey, some of my friends and I are going to the fair tonight, I have a spare ticket and I want you to go with me."

This is good.


If she starts to reply with "ummm" or "well" cut her off in mid-sentence with "I don't want to hear "umm" (or well). The fair starts at (whatever time),so you'll need to be ready at (whatever time).


You have to push this thing man. If you push it and sell it hard enough,she may just get in ine with what you're saying because of the hardness and strength of YOUR FRAME.

then whatever happens from there happens, if she says she has plans I'll probably just say something like "Haha alright, you're gonna be missing out on a lot of fun."

Urrrgh. It's CLEAR we're going to have to take a baseball bat to that "nice guy" lurking inside you.

If she says no,or simply doesn't want to go,you say,"Ok,later",then hang up the phone and go on about your business.

What if she doesn't answer, voicemail?

Generally I'm against leaving voicemail,but you can leave one if you want...only don't tell her what it is you want.

If you do,she can decide based on the information itself.


That's not what you want.


You want her to choose to go with you as a result of HOW YOU MADE HER FEEL.


Personally,if I were to call her and not be able to get ahold of her,I'd just forget about it and go on.


But if you REALLY WANT to take her out tonight and decide to leave a voicemail,just say,"Hey (her name),it's (your name).I want to talk to you. Call me back".

There. Don't tell her WHY you want to talk to her. Let her curiosity drive her to you to find out what you want.


Edit:Moneyisking,you're right about "telling her",but you're a bit late with it.

I told him that in reply #3 of this thread...with big bold letters.

 

[Mando]

Called, no pickup. Decided not gonna leave a voicemail since I'm over it. If she calls within an hour I'll invite her, if not I'll just invite someone else.

Meh if I see her at the football game next week I'll just act like I'm too cool for her or something if she tries to talk to me.

 

[Joe Stud]

tickets are cheap, you didnt waste much.
when you see her, dont act mad, impolite or vengeful, just disinterested. as if she was an ugly chick. be cool, and alpha. got any hot female friends? invite them to the game. if you can trust the female friend, tell her you want her to come help you get the cheerleader jealous. I usually dont advise these games, but hot schoolgirls seem to respond to a DJ's social value. the fem friend can loop her arm in yours as well. and dont be afraid to "happen to walk by the cheerleader", and introduce your friend to her. "this is my friend jane". sometimes child psychology works with spoiled "childlike" chicks

 

[Mando]

I got the tickets for free haha, and ended up having a great time.

Yeah, I was pretty much thinking of something like that.

 

[Heman6]

you should always ask out especially if you have already established good raport with her.

 

[Mando]

Yeahh but I kinda messed up with that girl and I hadn't talked to her almost at all the whole summer so I can probably see why she didn't pick up other than she's a ***** haha. Oh well, its all good, already working on two more =]. I love college haha.